I overslept this morning.

Ok - that implies that I had little control over the situation. truth is, the alarm went off - I shook my fiance awake. He didn't stir so I rolled over and fell back asleep. BAH! What I should of done - what I WILL do from now on is hop out of bed and turn on the light.

We talked about it - I told him how dissapointed I was in myself and he's going to work on waking up better. I MISS the gym!

I'll cardio tonight at least and hit the gym tomorrow. I WON'T miss two days in a row.

Eats are on plan and planned. I had poached eggs for breakfast, ricotta cheese for 2nd breakfast and I have planned spinach salad for lunch, PB shake for tea - Protien shake for meal 5 and turkey burgers for dinner.

Yesterday's run was GREAT. I haven't worked that hard on a treadmill in ages it seems. I forgot how much harder it was to run on my treadmill that won't go lower then 1.5% then the gym treadmills that start at 0%. WAY harder. I certainly hit a 10 on that one!

Now confession time. I've been finding myself getting worried lately. Worried about looking like a man. Now - before you start yelling at me about weights and not getting bulky etc... it's not about THAT. Well, it is - sorta, but not in the way you might think. It's more about my face shape, and now weight lifting will effect it. I have a VERY strong square jaw. those of you who've seen picture probably know what I mean - everyone else think carrie-ann moss - without the pointy chin. Actually better yet, think Christopher Reeve - before the accident. My 'fluff' does soften it a little, but even at 230 lbs I still had a VERY strong jaw. As I lose it just gets 'worse'. Add on top of that that I'm building muscle and I start to get REALLY worried about what I'm going to look like in a few months. Yes - I'm borderline 'scary-strong' but I'm still all girl at heart.

Ah well - I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Just one of those bizzaro thoughts that cross my brain while I battle with the 'blotto' the deamon of fat. He whispers all sorts of negative things in my ear. I just have to remind myself that I can sit here and WONDER if I'll like myself all fit and tone and sexy and stuff or do it and KNOW. And if I don't like it, I can always change back! hehehe