Friday, December 11, 2009

Postive Steps

weight today : 196.1 - since the goal for monday is 196.0 that's excellent

the postives for today:

I've logged everything I've eaten.

The negatives:

I missed my weight workout - I was just too tired to get up at 4:00AM
I ate 1800 calories today - bleh

I've figured out that I need to plan my meals the day before, when I stand in front of the fridge and try to plan what I'm going to eat by just looking at what's there, I make poor choices - period.

Sooooo tomorrow, Saturday, here's the menu.

Breakfast - egg whites and toast
Snack - MF scrambled eggs (mixed with the whites)
Lunch - Spinach salad w/chicken
Snack - MF Cream of Tomato Soup
Dinner - Mac and Cheese
Snack - MF Pudding

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Today, I wrote this letter to myself:

You see,

Here's the thing Shawn

Enough is enough. You do want to get this weight off don't you? Don't you want to finally have the body, be as fit as that dream that's in your head. You're capable. You have the knowledge, you have the training, you have the skills and the basic body type to do it. You just have it execute - every day! And it's not even that hard, it's a matter of saying "No" to those things that move you away from your goal and "Yes" to those things that move you toward it. So do it!

Here's the first 'mini-goal' get back below 190 - BEFORE your birthday. Let's make your 40th year mean something - mean losing 50 lbs of ugly fat. isn't that a nice round number?

of course, you have to fight the urge to go out and plan all your goals for the next six months. It's time to focus on one goal - that goal is below 190 - before 1/4

So, how are we going to achieve this? hmmm

well - let's start one week at a time.

My goal for next monday is to be at or below 196. I'm a little 'behind' since it's already late Thursday, but I've still got three days.

Food will look like 1200 each day. 3 meals of 300 cals and 3 meals of 100 Balanced Carbs/Protein for the 300 Cal meals - Medifast for the 100 cal meals

Exercise - I'll hit the weights tomorrow then do a bike at night. Saturday I have a race/run and Sunday I'll do a brick.

Since I'm here and thinking about it, I'll plan next week too.

The goal by the end of the week will be 193.4 - that means a goal of 2.6 lbs and to lose 2.6 lbs while eating 1200 cals - I'll have a goal of 660 minutes of exercise. I'll achieve that by doing:

5 days of weight training @ 45 minutes each
5 days of yoga @ 20 minutes each
Tue - Run
Wed - Bike/Run
Thu - Run
Fri - Bike
Sat - Run
Sun - Bike/Run

Here's to drive, determination and focus! and being less then 196 by Monday!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Breaking the Cycle - and Holding Myself Accountable

For the past four weeks I've had a cycle of maintaining (actually gaining - .1 and .3) for a week, and then dropping for a week. Last week was a 'good' week where I dropped. I'm happy about that, but I'm tired of this cycle. So this week - no maintaining, no gaining. I want to see progress! I've made a good start of it. Down 1.2 since weigh in on Saturday.

Yep, I'm below 205! I usually give myself a few days before 'officially' proclaiming a milestone reached, but I'm going to celebrate my first day under 205 just a little ;)

Still, as happy as I am, the focus is on Onderland... Onderland... Onderland :) to that end, I would like to be below 202 by Saturday. I don't know if it's possible but I'm going to follow 'the plan' with that goal in mind.

What really struck me today is how really really nice it is to put on clothes today and not have them be tighter then yesterday. After 2+ years of dreading getting up and facing my closet, wondering "What going to not fit today..." In fact, the pants I put on today might be gaping just a little around the waist... and I just started wearing them again! Now THAT'S the way to start the morning!

Exercise planned for the week:

Did a 30 minute bike ride - kept it between 11-16 MPR. Nice and easy recovery from Saturday. Tonight I'll go for a run - 3 miles minimum as I start a 1/2 marathon program this week in prep for my 'Big' triathlon in September. Wednesday is a longer bike ride (1 hour). Thursday 3 Mile run. Friday a bike and a long open water swim, and then Saturday Hubby and I are doing a 14 mile run/walk called the Double DipSea. (it's more a 'hike' then anything).

I'm still trying to keep my calories around 1000 - like I said, below that and I don't feel well.

The biggest challenge this week will be Wednesday. I've been 'asked' to attend a customer appreciation event at the Oakland A's since one of my bigger clients will be there. I'm sure many of you are going... ooo you get to go watch the Giant's vs the A's in a luxury box?! what's your beef!? Well #1 I'm not good at... what's the word I'm looking for... schmoozing. I do my job and do it well, no matter my personal feelings, but making small talk with someone that I don't give two shakes about... bleh. Then there's the fact that I don't like baseball. Ok maybe 'don't like' is too mild a word, but let's just say I've actually fallen asleep at Candlestick during a double header. just doesn't do it for me. So what's left? Well I used to go for the food and the booze. MMMMMMM baseball food. But, my guess is nothing provided will be 'on plan', so that means I'm going to have to go to extraordinary efforts to get my meals in that day.

alright, I'm done /whine lol!

Anyway - I'm saying all of this more to get it down in writing and to keep myself accountable. -- Cause it's all about Onederland baby! lol


Hey everyone how's your collar bones looking today? Mine are working their way to the surface :)

Yesterday ended well. Hubby was tired and didn't want to go run around the lake, so we went home instead. I was ok with that because he does the driving - so I try to be considerate of how he's feeling.

So, we drove home, I changed, grabbed the dog, and headed out for my run.

Now, many of you might not know that my next big Triathlon (I'm doing some 'baby' ones before then) is in 12 weeks and it's going to be a tough one. 1.5 mile swim from Alcatraz to SF. a 2.5 mile run after that (it's called a warm up run - huh?) a 9 mile bike, and then another 7.5 mile run. That's a total of 10 miles running. I struggled with deciding what kind of running plan I would do to try to get myself to this kind of mileage, and finally I figured out a 'hybrid' of my own.

I started with the Novice 1/2 marathon plan from Hal Higdon. I had used his plans before and I liked them. I also figured training for the longer distance of 13 miles couldn't hurt me do better on race day. But - I really like my "10K" running program from podrunner intervals the tempo tends to push me, and I like the interval format for getting faster and going longer. So I decided to blend that in as part of my program. Thursday night's runs would be the interval program from Podrunner and the other two runs would be as written by Mr Higdon.

That made last night my 'interval' day. So I plugged in my head phones and off I went :)

It was so much fun! :) I really like interval training because I feel like I can really push myself during the shorter run segments and know I'll have time to recover. So, last night's workout looked like this:

BPM Chart
5 min. warmup @ 137-142 BPM
4 min. @ 153 BPM
2 min. walk @ 142 BPM
4 min. @ 153 BPM
2 min. walk @ 142 BPM
4 min. @ 153 BPM
2 min. walk @ 142 BPM
4 min. @ 153 BPM
2 min. walk @ 142 BPM
4 min. @ 153 BPM
2 min. walk @ 142 BPM
3 min. cooldown @ 142-137 BPM

After my cool down, since I wasn't home yet, I went ahead and let the workout repeat and walked for 2 and then ran until I got home.

The exciting part is that I DID push myself on every run segment and kept below a 12 min/mile pace on each one! I have a feeling with the short run on Monday - the interval run on Thursday and a weekend long run... my fitness levels are going to go through some interesting changes over the next 12 weeks!

So, tonight the plan is to try out my new Friday Night routine. I'm going to change at work, BART to the car - where I've left my bike, and then ride my bike to Shadow Cliffs and swim with my tri team. Hubby will pick me up after he gets off work! Should be FUN!

Next week I'm adding weight lifting back in... look out world - cause believe it or not, weight lifting is my first love :P

Everyone have an excellent weekend. Get out, enjoy the summer. It'll boost your body's natural levels of vitamin D and keep you out of the kitchen!

PS: weight is at 202.6 still...

A Blast from the Past

A Long Long Long time ago I heard that Dr Beck had a new book out. So, being the diet book junkie that I am (sorry about using the "D" Word ScottO, but it's what best describes them) I had to order it. Only, it seems the announcement of the book's release was premature. The book wasn't actually 'out' yet. Well, I soon forgot about it. Moved on, gained more weight, did a triathlon, read other books, joined Metifast... you know how it goes.

Last night, however, there was a package on my porch from Amazon. I was really confused because Hubby and I have made a deal to not spend 'frivolous' money for a while. All my 'play money' has been going to race entry fees. So, a package from Amazon meant I hadn't kept up my end of the 'deal'. I opened the package and there was the 'Green Book' Dr Beck's "The Complete Beck diet for life"!

Seems that while I had forgotten that I had ordered the book, amazon hadn't and shipped it as soon as they got some in stock. HA! -- Oh well, I love Dr Beck and I'm sure I can learn some awesome stuff from her as well as get a refresher. You may see me pulling some highlights from it over the next few weeks.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Random Stats that Amuse me- and various other ramblings

I've been on plan for 82 days/almost 12 weeks

I've lost 36.4 lbs - that's .44 lbs a day or 3.11 per week

Other then my first week, the most I've lost is 4.5 lbs, the least was a gain of 0.3

My average weight my first week was 233. My average weight last week was 206.

I give myself a small reward every two pounds (I have to be three days at or below that weight). The longest time between rewards was between 212 and 210 (12 days). The shortest was between 210 and 208 (1 day). The average time to drop 2 lbs is 5.5 days.

I've gone from a size 18W (pants) to size 16 (no W). I've gone from a size XXL shirt to XL.

Since I got my body bugg (April 26th)my average calories burned per day is 2550. On my highest Day (Yeah I did a tri that day) I burned 4260. On my lowest 1850 (This is what I burn if I do nothing but sit on my keester all day).

I average over 10,000 steps a day

So what does all this mean? Well, it means that I really like data and numbers... lol.

So what else is going on with me? Well ballpark food (even lean & Green Ballpark food) combined with a late night and not much sleep has the scale stall. That's ok - it'll even up eventually.

I pulled a pair of pants out of my closet of shame this weekend that were just a LEETLE too tight (you know - some zipper strain) but when I put them on this morning they zip just find and are actually baggy around the waist. How did that happen?! Bodies are just so weird.

Hubby and I are going to go run with the 'group' tonight around Lace Merced. 4.5 miles - I hope it's easier then Tuesday night's run was. When I told hubby that I was looking forward to running with the club tonight he responded that he was looking forward to the cookies they provide after the run! lol - hey whatever motivates you right?

Ok - so now I want to ask you guys a question. I was reading another blogger and she mentioned that she's purging her closet. Getting rid of all her 'too big' clothes and it got me wondering. When do you declare something 'too big'? Is it when the next size down fits? Or is it when it falls off your ever shrinking bootie? do I just stage a huge fashion show and let hubby tell me what's not fit to wear anymore?

What have you all done?

I can't see my weight loss - and The Paper Towel Theory

So I've seen a lot of rumbling lately from folks who aren't seeing their weight loss. Or, who aren't seeing it where they would like to see it, etc.

I TOTALLY understand this feeling :) Even though my husband told me almost daily that he could tell the difference, even though I was fitting into smaller clothes, for a while there, I couldn't tell I was loosing weight when I looked in the mirror.

But, there is a reason for this (other then body dismorphication). It's called the Paper Towel Theory. I read it on Dr Hussman's website many years ago and thought it might be beneficial to share it here.

The Paper Towel Theory

As it turns out, you can get fairly good estimates of your bodyfat composition simply from a single skinfold, or by passing a tiny electrical current through your foot, ankle or hands. What this really means is that fat is distributed fairly precisely on the body. And while it's true that some people have larger fat deposits on some parts of their body than others, it's also true that percentage-wise, the fat on your body comes off fairly evenly.

That's important to remember when you measure your progress. See, one of the first places you're probably looking for fat loss is on those areas of your body that you think are "too fat." But in fact, that's the last place you should look, because I can guarantee that those areas are still going to look "too fat" for a little while.

Think of it this way. If you have a roll of paper towels (or a cassette tape), and you start to unravel it, you can get a good amount off of the roll before you really see a visible change. But as you get further down that roll, even taking off a little more is very apparent.

The same is true with your body. The first place you're going to see greater definition is at those areas where the fat deposits are relatively thin already. For most people, this is around the shoulders and clavicles (the two long bones that run just under your neck, connecting your two shoulders to the breast plate).

Another reason why this is important is that advertisers often prey on the belief that fat can be "spot-reduced." All the twisty ab-crunchers on the market are perfect examples. Basically, these companies get a fitness model that has followed months or years of weight training, aerobics, and proper nutrition, and have them roll back and forth in one of these things, as if they actually got in shape that way.

Or look at all the books promising to help you lose fat "for your type" - pear shaped, apple shaped, dodecahedron shaped - you name it. It's true, for example, that people who are insulin resistant tend to store more fat in the midsection, and that women tend to store more fat in the thigh area. But so what? If you lose the fat, it comes off EVERYWHERE. If a problem area looks "too fat", training that area with exercise may very well improve the definition of the underlying muscles and the overall form of that area. But it will not accelerate fat loss relative to other parts of your body.

If the body didn't lose fat uniformly, we'd all wobble around like Weebles because our relatively fixed bone and muscle structure wouldn't be able to tolerate the variation. The best way to change the size of your body is through caloric deficits. The best way to change the shape is through resistance training. The one thing you need to achieve a total physique and fitness transformation is to do EVERYTHING - aerobics, intervals, resistance training, cross-training (physiologist Covert Bailey calls these the "four food groups of exercise"), small frequent meals, high-quality protein and carbohydrates, low-glycemic nutrition, proper supplementation, water, and rest. As Shawn Phillips says, "the one thing, is everything."

So again, if you're looking for results in the mirror, look for the first signs of improved definition at those areas where muscle is relatively close to the surface. For most people, this is the upper chest and shoulder area. After two weeks, you probably won't see enormous visible changes elsewhere. But those changes are happening anyway.

You should definitely be keeping track of how your clothes feel. Go to the closet and pick out an outfit that's just a little too tight. Put it aside. You'll want to try it on occasionally. Waist measurements can also capture fat loss that isn't necessarily evident in the mirror.


There you go! :)

Now - if you really want an eye opener - try the Paper Towel experiment. Take a brand new roll and take off one piece (one pound). doesn't really make a visable difference does it? What if the roll is 1/2 gone? Take off a piece... ooo, you can kind of see that can't ya? How about if it's almost gone? Take off a piece - WOW! can you see that!?

Yeah, it can be discouraging in the beginning to think. This one (or three or four) pounds aren't going to make a difference. But they do... That paper towel roll isn't going to unwind itself! You can't grab a sheet out of the middle no matter how much you might want to.

I guess what I'm trying to say is - hang in there folks! Every pound matters weather you 'see' it or not!

The Game is Over

And I survived. I got my excercise for the day in. I got lost inside the stadium twice and walked the whole thing both times! Yeah, I'm that good.

the best part of the night was that they actually had food that wasn't hot dogs :) sliced turkey and veggies whoo hoo! Yeah, I lean and greened at a baseball game.

I'm on my way home now, but I wanted to share one little thing that occured to me while I was hiking around the stadium in work clothes.

You often hear the expression "never let them see you sweat". Well I propose that the female version of that is "never let them see you limp"

yeah, I was wearing heels tonight. :)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sleep - it does a body good

One thing about being go go go on the weekends is that I don't get to catch up on my sleep like in the 'old days'. Luckily, I can work from home now and then and on those days instead of getting up at 5AM I can wake up at 9 - it's bliss. Today was a work from home day (at least in the morning) - so I got my extra few hours of sleep and it seems to have had some benefits because I weighed this morning and I'm in the 202's! I like the way that looks!

My 3 mile run last night was hard. I don't know if it was the low calorie day I had on Monday, the lack of sleep over the weekend, the heat or all of it, but I struggled. But, I did it - got it done, logged in the books and I'm sure my body benefited from it. My training partner (the dog) thought it was tough too :) He actually let me squirt him with the hose when we got home when normally he runs as soon as he hears the water turn on!

Had a small NSV last night :) I know, this may sound weird to some people... lol. But I'm a 'center of attention' kind of girl. I have what some call a sanguine personality. I pretty much thrive on positive attention. One of the things that weight gain does is tends to make one 'invisible'. Which can really be disheartening to one who likes to burst in the room to "Hi NORM!" if you know what I mean. Of course you start to erode your self confidence and sometimes that makes getting the weight off even harder. My husband even mentioned at one point. "I miss the old self confident you" And he was right, that person was buried under the weight gain and all the mental crap that went with it.

One of the things completing Lavaman did for me was give me a sense of accomplishment and self worth that had been lacking for so long. For the week we spent in Hawaii after words people would recognize my purple hair and go "You did Lavaman didn't you! I remember you! Awesome job!" I was still riding the high from all of that when I came home and there, waiting for me was my first order of Medifast. The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Although I'm only 30% of the way toward my goal I feel 100% better. My confidence is back, I walk with my head up, I meat people's eye when I walk down the street, I'm 'me' again. Hubby is back to stopping me in the middle of dinner, just to wrap his arms around me and snuggle, and I'm thriving.

But last night, something happened that hasn't happened in years. Again, this is probably going to sound really weird to folks, lol!

Yesterday I had on my favorite slacks, there's something about them that's really flattering - just the perfect cut, perfect length, and one of the few blouses that that actually show off my waist. As I left work, I had stashed what is my almost always present sweater in my bag because, it was hot, and I headed down the street toward BART. I was almost to BART when I heard it...

"Whoa MaMa!"


For me! I haven't had that in AGES. Maybe that makes me shallow, but I'll take a compliment when it's given - hahah.

Look out world - Shawn is back!

One of my weight loss goals...

Is to be as sexy as my car ;)

I was going to wait until 200 to post a picture, but it was too nice a day, and I was feeling too good to not snap a quicky before heading off to the city.

A Fine California Day

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Breaking the Cycle - and Holding Myself Accountable

For the past four weeks I've had a cycle of maintaining (actually gaining - .1 and .3) for a week, and then dropping for a week. Last week was a 'good' week where I dropped. I'm happy about that, but I'm tired of this cycle. So this week - no maintaining, no gaining. I want to see progress! I've made a good start of it. Down 1.2 since weigh in on Saturday.

Yep, I'm below 205! I usually give myself a few days before 'officially' proclaiming a milestone reached, but I'm going to celebrate my first day under 205 just a little ;)

Still, as happy as I am, the focus is on Onderland... Onderland... Onderland :) to that end, I would like to be below 202 by Saturday. I don't know if it's possible but I'm going to follow 'the plan' with that goal in mind.

What really struck me today is how really really nice it is to put on clothes today and not have them be tighter then yesterday. After 2+ years of dreading getting up and facing my closet, wondering "What going to not fit today..." In fact, the pants I put on today might be gaping just a little around the waist... and I just started wearing them again! Now THAT'S the way to start the morning!

Exercise planned for the week:

Did a 30 minute bike ride - kept it between 11-16 MPR. Nice and easy recovery from Saturday. Tonight I'll go for a run - 3 miles minimum as I start a 1/2 marathon program this week in prep for my 'Big' triathlon in September. Wednesday is a longer bike ride (1 hour). Thursday 3 Mile run. Friday a bike and a long open water swim, and then Saturday Hubby and I are doing a 14 mile run/walk called the Double DipSea. (it's more a 'hike' then anything).

I'm still trying to keep my calories around 1000 - like I said, below that and I don't feel well.

The biggest challenge this week will be Wednesday. I've been 'asked' to attend a customer appreciation event at the Oakland A's since one of my bigger clients will be there. I'm sure many of you are going... ooo you get to go watch the Giant's vs the A's in a luxury box?! what's your beef!? Well #1 I'm not good at... what's the word I'm looking for... schmoozing. I do my job and do it well, no matter my personal feelings, but making small talk with someone that I don't give two shakes about... bleh. Then there's the fact that I don't like baseball. Ok maybe 'don't like' is too mild a word, but let's just say I've actually fallen asleep at Candlestick during a double header. just doesn't do it for me. So what's left? Well I used to go for the food and the booze. MMMMMMM baseball food. But, my guess is nothing provided will be 'on plan', so that means I'm going to have to go to extraordinary efforts to get my meals in that day.

alright, I'm done /whine lol!

Anyway - I'm saying all of this more to get it down in writing and to keep myself accountable. -- Cause it's all about Onederland baby! lol

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sharing an NSV (Non-Scale Victory)

You guys - I'm in tears right now...

This might not be something that everyone can relate to, but I hope you will join me in celebrating anyway :)

They finally posted the results from my tri on Saturday. Up 'til now, all I had was my finish time - nothing else.

Well, now I know more and it's... well, for me it's a NSV that still has me stunned.

First of all:

My finish time (as you know) was 2:02:33 - that was fast enough for me to place 139th out of 177 people. That is my BEST finish time to date and in and of itself was very heartening.

Of the women who competed I finished 33rd out of 57 - again a really pleasing number.

of women my age (40-44) I finished 10 out of 14 -- again, for me that's good and those numbers along were enough to make me do a happy dance, but -- there was more.

If you read my report you know that I felt like I struggled on the swim. The results paint a slightly different picture. My time for the 500 yard swim - 11:54. That was fast enough to finish 81st out of the 177 competitors. I was in the top 1/2!! and better yet, only 16, YES 16! women finished in front of me! Oh My God!! I was in 17th place out of 57 (women) when I was done with the swim!

The bike and run numbers weren't nearly as dramatic. On the bike I was 134th out of 177, and on the run I was 146th. Just the fact that I finished the run faster then about 30 people is still, a really, really big deal. I'm making progress!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009


If you've never logged in to, please, do so now. Find out if there's a group near you and sign up. It's, ummm FREEEEEE!

Anyway, I signed up a few weeks ago and have watched some nice things come and go. The other day though, an add caught my eye, I replied to it, and yesterday I came home with two HUGE hefty bags (lawn size) full of clothes size 12 to 9! Jeans, shirts, sweaters and some nice dresses - all in sizes that I'll be able to wear in a few months. This is going to save me a ton on clothing that I would just 'shrink out of' anyway!

I plan to 'pay it forward' and offer my stuff up there as soon as I'm done with it.

Go check it out now!

Saturday, June 20, 2009


Yep - I finished! It was a GREAT race. Well run and so much fun!

500 Yard swim
9 mile bike (mountain bike, single track)
3.5 mile Run

Finished in 2hours 2minutes! whoot!

Awww Shucks

205.4 this morning. Didn't hit my goal, but I got pretty darn close! I'm on my way to my race. So, I can't type much. Have a great day everyone!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Run Girl Run!

So, as I mentioned earlier - Hubby and I met up with a running group in San Francisco after work and did a run with them. It was our first time with this group so we didn't really know what to expect. I've had bad experiences running with folks in San Francisco before because... well they are all so FIT. But this group seemed to be a nice cross section and I felt really comfortable.

The plan for tonight was to do a 4.5 mile run around Lake Merced. At the designated time we all lined up, someone yelled "GO" and we were off!

I really wasn't expecting to be able to keep up with the pack. It's just not the way it is for me - I'm slow and I know it :). They all pulled away at first and then, magically, they stopped gaining ground! I did a mental check and found that i wasn't struggling, really, so I just went with the flow, keeping a few folks in site.

The first mile rolled past rather quickly and I checked my watch.. WHAT! 11 minutes!? I kept going. Mile two came -- another 11 minute mile!? But now the running path was starting to head up hill. I was hitting the wall that I always seem to hit somewhere in mile three. I was tired, I was winded, I was hurting... But I was determined. Even as I saw the others pulling away and eventually go out of site I knew what my goal was. I was going to run 3.2 miles (a 5K).

I kept running. I felt like I was barely moving. I wanted to stop, to walk for a while, or even maybe halt all together to catch my breath. But I kept running. I was determined, no matter how slow I had to go, that I would reach my goal of 3.2 miles.

And I did! I finished that 3.2 miles in 37:15 - averaging an 11:38min/mile pace! (that's 5.2 @ 1% incline if you're used to the treadmill).

But I wasn't done yet. Nope - the route was 4.5 miles long. I had reached a milestone, but wasn't to the finish yet! The last 1.3 miles I did a run/walk combo and in the end, I finished the 4.5 miles in 53:53 - averaging a 12:06 min/mile pace. Not too shabby!

What was really exciting was that when I got to thinking about how far I've come...I realized that the first "Marker Set" we did while training to do Lavaman we were asked to run 2 Miles and record our time. That first time out (On 11/20/09) I ran that 2 miles in 31:35. Just a little faster then I ran OVER 3 miles tonight! WHOO HOO!!

But there was something else I realized tonight. I was thinking about how like a MediFast Journey my run was.

We start out so gung ho. We're (usually) losing at a fast pace... We're excited, pumped up, we feel like we can do anything.

Then, at some point, we hit that wall. Our body/mind screams at us to stop... Let me catch my breath... Let's lay down, this is too hard! And we have two choices at that point. We can stop, and hope we're able to get going again, or we can keep our goal in site, keep moving. Yeah, we might slow down a bit... The fat may not be dropping at quite the same rate, and we can let that discourage us. But if we just keep moving in the right direction. If we keep pumping our arms, keep focused on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other over and over again... We'll make it to our goal! And maybe making it to goal, doesn't mean we get to lie down. We may need to keep walking and even running some, but the sense of accmplishment from reaching that goal will help propel us along. And all the pain will be worth it.

Keep running my MF friends. At YOUR pace. As I was told when training for Lavaman. Even if you come in last, you're still ahead of every person who's at home sitting on their couch right now.

Even if your weight loss has stalled, even if your struggling a little with BLT - or whatever. You're still ahead of every person who hasn't chosen to step on this path and start this weight loss journey.

We're all winners - dang it! - now where's my metal?! :)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A Peacefull Easy Feeling

Not much to say today. Took my rest day last night so no workout. And my weight rebounded a little bit this morning. No worries, I was expecting it. Still expect to be at or below 205 on Saturday which was my ultimate goal. Food has been 'easy' again. I like days like this.

The plan tonight is to go run with one of the local running clubs. They do a 4.5 mile loop around Lake Merced every Thursday, so hubby and I are going to stop there, and do that before heading home. I can hardly believe that I look at a 4.5 mile run as such a 'normal' thing now. I like it.

Otherwise - not much else to say... lol. Perhaps I'll have some amazing insight later on today :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Weekend Update

I had big hopes for this weekend. We had a lot of plans most of them involving enjoying the beautiful weather we've been having.

I got off early on Friday and ran down to the AT&T so they could set up my phone for me. It was exciting to finally get to use my new 'toy' (I got an iphone) and it was a great way to kick off the weekend.

After that I jumped on BART and rode down to pick up my car and then drove to a local park called Shadow Cliffs - there I was meeting up with a group of folks to do an open water swim! But first, I had to pass the swim test.

I wasn't really worried about the swim test, and it was a nice warm-up to the longer swim that was planned for that night. At 6:15 I was in my wetsuit, in the water, and headed for the far side of the lake - now a certified 'ORCA' :) The out and back was 1600yards total, and that along with the 300yard swim test I had done earlier meant I had done over a mile - whoop! It felt GREAT.

After the swim I headed home, showered, changed and then planned on getting some food for the dog. But that's when I got 'the call' from my husband :( He had been driving down the highway home when the rear tire had blown out. He and the car were ok, but while trying to change the tire he found out that they had never given us the lug nut key and he couldn't get the old 'blown-out' tire off!

Well the dog food (and my food) were forgotten in the rush to get down and meet up with him. He tried a few 'tricks' to get the tire undone, and when that didn't work it was up to me to drive from store to store to see if I could find what we needed.

I didn't. I was getting hungerier and hungerier as the night wore on and finally I HAD to stop. A quick drive through the at Arby's and I had a roast beef sandwich in hand. I threw out the bread and ate just the 'beef' and at least stopped shaking. It was at least enough to get me through until I got home.

After the futile search for the lug nut key, we finally just had to throw in the towel and I picked up hubby and we went home, leaving the car in a gas station parking lot. Any ideas we had of a nice relaxing Friday night at home were completely blown. We finally hit the door after 11! I mixed a quick shake for my last meal of the day and hit the sack.

We were up early on Saturday, but not for the nice bike ride I had been planning. Instead it was a drive to the Toyota dealership to try to find the key. They told us there were 12 different keys and they needed the car in order to tell which one! Only the car had a flat that we couldn't fix and was over 15 miles away! duh! We drove back to the car and made an imprint of the lock with play dough and brought that back to the dealership. They spent some time trying to figure out the match before the guy at the shop just said "I'll probably get in trouble for this, but just take them all and bring back the ones that don't work" and so we did (Thank you thank you thank you Toyota guy!).

FINALLY the car was fixed, we took back the keys that didn't work, bought the one that did and made it home. I spent the rest of the day cleaning the yard, planting flowers and pulling weeds, while hubby scrubbed bathrooms, vacuumed, swept and did laundry (yeah we're weird like that).

Our reward for all the housework? We settled down to taco salads (with ground turkey and no chips) and the finale of "The Biggest Loser". It was a the perfect ending to a less then perfect day. Watching the Biggest Loser always charges me up and I ended up day with a 30 minute light calistenic session including the first day of my 100 pushup program.

Sunday we were all up EARLY - the whole family (except my son) were going to run the Bay to Breakers. We all had breakfast and suited up for the day. A short drive and then we were on BART and on our way into the city.

Once in the city, we started walking to where our starting corrals were. On our way we go a very pleasant surprise! Cause standing on the sideway (almost in front of the place I work) was Jerry - who I had just watch win 100,000 the night before!

The girls just HAD to meet him so we did, and got pictures.

This was awesome!

After that, we lined up to start and about a half an hour later, we were off!

We had a GREAT time. The B2B is a great race, lots of fun and the participants and the fans are amazing.

At mile 5 I decided to pick up the pace and ran to the finish. It felt great and I was glad to push myself a bit.

After 7.5 miles we were finished, and while rounding up the family members we ran into Jerry again! The girls wanted to see how his race went so we said hi. He told us that he had always wanted to do the B2B but was too heavy - so this was a dream come true for him -- it was great to be there to witness it!

Ran into Jerry again

We finished our day with a one mile walk to go get food and pick up our finishers t-shirts, and then a two mile walk to catch the train back to the race start. Even though it was exhausting, it made for an AMAZING finish to the weekend.

And my weight in all of this? Well that's the biggest bummer I guess. Saturday I had a weird jump up to 215.1 (from a low of 213.9). Sunday I woke up still at 215.1 and this morning? 215.4 -- My hormones have been going crazy since I started this program and TOM has started again WAY early so between that and all the exercise plus the extra salty food over the weekend... should make this an interesting week to say the least :)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Pretty Good Day

For a Monday :)

Yesterday was good. I ate on plan; did it without any snacks, and I made it to the gym.

I absolutely KILLED it at the gym, which I love

Leg Day

Leg Press - 3 x (360 x 10)
Squat - 3 x (195 x 10)
Dead Lift - 3 x (90 x 10)
Stand Calf - 3 x (90 x 10)

Then I went home and went for a run. It's week 4 of my 1st day to 5K program that I'm doing from the podrunner website. which looked like this:


29 minutes from 129 to 140 BPM

5-minute warmup @ 129 BPM
3 minutes @ 140 BPM
90 seconds @ 130 BPM
5 minutes @ 140 BPM
2 minutes 30 seconds @ 130 BPM
3 minutes @ 140 BPM
90 seconds @ 130 BPM
5 minutes @ 140 BPM
Two minute cooldown @ 130 BPM

Those 5 minute running intervals after a 90 second rest were just killing me! :) But in a good way. I really pushed myself and it felt GREAT!

After that, I ate my L&G and hit the hay. Tired but in a good way!

Got up this morning and had a BIG surprise - weight 214!! I've hit the 25 lb mark. I've shed 25 lbs of fat, never to be picked up again!

I also , finally got around to taking measurements - wow!

In five weeks I've lost:
Chest (this is just under my arms): -2.2"
Waist: -3.7"
Hips: -2"
Butt: -1.5"
Thigh: -1" 
Calf: -1"

Overall I've very very happy with my performance AND the results!

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Long and Winding Road

I promised myself that my blog would be a true and accurate picture of my weight loss journey. That's why I'm posting here today that I stumbled yesterday.

I can make a bunch of excuses like "It was Mother's Day" or "It's the first time since I started this program that my kids have been over" but it was, plain and simple a stumble. I'm still working on the true 'why' of it all and on strategies for keeping it from happening again - but I'm trying to avoid making excuses and taking the easy way out.

I woke up yesterday morning happy to see that even after going to Home Town Buffet that my weight was down .1lb (216.4) My youngest loves to make me breakfast on Mother's Day but was ok about honoring my request that she not, this year. So, I got up and grabbed some MF - Oatmal and some MF - cinnamon chips. I don't know why I grabbed the chips - well I do. Ever since I bought all those MF - Snacks they have been calling me. All of the rest of my food is carefully packaged in bags, a day's worth of food in each, but the snacks. They just sit there, waiting for when I say "I'll have a snack!" and my feast beast pounced on the opportunity. ((You'll notice a theme coming up)).

So I ate my breakfast, packed up some food and the kids and loaded the car so we could go to the lake. I packed a MF Bar and a MF - RTD Shake alongside the Lean & Green that I was bringing to BBQ so that I would have food all day. I was set.

Once we got to the lake and got set up, I started feeling a bit peckish. My family was snacking on chips and crackers all of which I knew I wasn't going to eat. For some reason I looked over the stuff I had brought and went, "Grapes, ooo grapes are healthy, and grabbed two, popping one in my mouth. It was seriously just an automatic thing. My husband, who was sitting right there said, 'I thought you weren't supposed to eat fruit?'

I sat there for a second process what he just said with one grape in my mouth literally sitting between my teeth waiting to be crushed! Finally it hit me what I was doing and I spit it out and threw them both in the trash. I grabbed my MF bar and thanked him - still kind of stunned that I had gone so brain dead.

The rest of our day went really well. We had a nice lunch of chicken and grilled asparagus and then spent over an hour swimming in the lake.

On the way home my oldest reminded me of the porkchops in the fridge that we were supposed to have Saturday night for dinner and asked we could have them when we got home. I agreed - after all, the girls had helped me prep them.

When we got home everyone started snacking again. I was getting the chops ready and was feeling a little hungry myself. What I should have done was had a shake or some other MF meal, but since it was so close to dinner time, I talked myself out of a meal and allowed myself a 'snack' instead. I mean it was a MF snack wasn't it? I grabbed a package of crackers and the hummus I had bought the day before. I spread each cracker with spread and munched away happily as I cooked. But then that package of crackers was gone and before I could really THINK about it I grabbed another and opened it! These disappeared quickly too and I found myself thinking about what else I could put hummus on so I could keep eating it.

At this point my rational brain started to take over, and I saw this for the binge it was becoming! The familiar arguement started in my head. You've blown the day already, just keep eating. You've done so well, what's one day? May as well finish the hummus so that it won't tempt you another day...

But, something came back to me that I had told another weight fighter many many years ago. Adherence to your plan starts the minute you stop being off plan. The 'Day' is never blown, unless you keep eating.

So I put the crackers and hummus away, finished cooking and had the second 1/2 of my Lean & Green for the day when dinner was done. That was it - I was back on plan.

What I realized was that being on plan isn't like walking a tight rope. If you do make a misstep, you aren't left helplessly falling, waiting to hit bottom and hoping you survive!

Being on plan is more a journey through the forest. Your eating plan is your GPS - guiding you to your goal and showing you the path through the trees. A misstep can take you off that path and can even have you walking backwards for a bit, but the minute you pick up your GPS again, you find the path and you're back on your journey again. THE MINUTE you pick it back. That means mid bite, mid binge, mid day -- it doesn't matter!

Anyway - after all of that I entered all my food into the "My Plan" page and found that I hadn't killed my calories or my carbs. And as a 'reward' for making right choices later - my weigh in was 215.8 this morning.

So, I'm here, on track and paying very close attention to my GPS right now!

Saturday, May 09, 2009

What a Day

It started out great - woke up for my official weigh in and I was 216.5! That's 3.1 lbs for the week - I hit and surpassed my goal for the week!

I fixed Macadamia nut pancakes with caramelized bananas and coconut syrup. And fed them to my family. While I had MF - scrambled eggs.

Then we went to the store and picked up a BUNCH of Lean and Green supplies.

Then the kids and I spent a hour or so prepping a bunch of food. and after I went to my choir concert. My kids showed up, my grandparents and my uncle and my other uncle and his wife and kids :) were all there too. It was nice to see everyone. And since it had been a while since we had been together, we all went out to dinner... at Home Town Buffet!

I was dreading going in there - I mean, it's a buffet!

This is the place where before - in my former life I would go in and eat and eat and eat until I felt like I would burst, and then go grab one of each of the deserts.

So I walked in -- looked at all of that food, picked up a chicken breast and roasted squash and that was my dinner. The best part was that the food was good! I enjoyed my dinner and didn't really miss all the crap that I would have eaten before at this place. Plus, I felt much better when I walked away!! Victory!!

Friday, May 08, 2009

I think I need some new jeans

Day 1 - The Shrinking Waist

Another day another victory!

Yesterday ended well. I got to rehearsal, did my thing and then headed home. I got in about 9:00 but went straight upstairs and changed into running clothes. There was no way I was going to get settled and talk myself into skipping this workout!

At about 9:30 I hit the door, and off I went for a nice Jog/Walk. The temp was perfect even for so late at night. It was a nice 2.2 mile run walk and I have to say I'm actually starting to enjoy it which is a big plus for me!

Food, as usual, was right on plan. I'm kind of excited about the next few weeks because I picked up a package of spices and cooking oils from Time Saver Gourmet. I already used some of the cinnamon in my shake last night and I plan on using more in my lean and green (chicken and Fauxtatoes) tonight.

AND yesterday the packages of MF-Snacks I ordered came in! I means I got to have crackers with my soup at lunch - oh man that was nice!
Anyway - I still don't have a solid plan for the weekend. I think we're going to go to the beach for Mother's Day and I hope to grill up some chicken etc. I'll have to figure out Saturday and my son's birthday still...

OH! and I forgot to mention - the scale finally started moving again. My plumbing is better and it shows as the scale showed 217.8 this morning. I'm finally starting to feel like Onederland is just around the corner!

100 Days - Day 8 - Help me, please

"To get support instead of criticism from the people you love, you may have to train them."


"Write a list of things that people are always welcome to say or do in regard to your weight-loss efforts."
    You look great!
    Wow! I can really tell you're losing weight!
    Those pants are really baggy! You must need a smaller size
    I'm proud of you
    You're looking really fit
    I can see your muscles
"Create a list of things you don't ever want people to do or say"
    Wow - your back only has two rolls now instead of three
    Can you eat this on your diet?
    We can't go there, it'll ruin your diet
    I can't believe you ate that!
    How's your diet going
    Please do NOT, avoiding doing something or avoiding going somewhere because you think you are protecting me or my food plan!
"Read both lists to your support people including your spouse, your children, and your best friend."

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Some Rambling

Last night was kind of strange. I rushed home, dropped off hubby and then rushed to dress rehearsal for choir only to find out I had the wrong night. Duh! So, I went back home and drug my bike out. I got hubby to agree to go with me so we strapped on helmets and went for a short jaunt. I was glad I got the 20+ minutes in. Sometimes it's hard for me to get motivated when I know I can't do the whole thing, but last night I did it anyway.

After that I made some dinner and we settled in to watch the last Biggest Loser. Big fun :)

Today's been ok. I think my stomach is finally feeling better, and I had a good weigh in (219). Only downer is that tonight is the rehersal I thought was last night so I'll miss going to the gym AGAIN :( Oh well, the concert is Saturday and then I'll be done with Choir for a while. Not that I don't love it, I'm just ready for this session to be over.

Other then that... well, I'm on plan and I'll go for a run after choir.

I just know I'm ready for this week to be over, but I'm not sure I'm ready for this weekend. We're going to be celebrating my son's birthday and Mother's day. He wants to go out to a Pizza Buffet place for this birthday - bleh!

Have a good one everyone - and happy Friday ((A)) :)

100 Days - Day 7 - I can do it!

"Practice saying the words "I can do it!" over and over.

"Push them deep into your mind and use them as a powerful affirmation that you WILL succeed with your plan"


"Write the words "I can do it". Mentally remind yourself of this phrase at least 10 times today. Use this to cheerlead yourself through the entire day!"


"Write "I can do it because..." then add a few supportive phrase such as "I'm capable of doing anything."

I can do it because...

I am focused, I have tunnel vision and have my goals firmly in front of me.

I have the help and support of Medifast and the network of friends here

I have the help and support of my husband at home

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ((Phillippians 4:13))

Not doing it is not an option

"Read your phrases often, using them to reinforce your goals and build your enthusiasm."

Hmmm - enthusiasm - I think that's a huge key to success. I mean, yeah, sometimes you have to 'just do it', even when you don't feel like it, but imagine how few times you would have to 'just do it' if you could maintain your enthusiasm. But how does one do that?

Many programs, for weight loss and for goal setting in general talk about building your 'why' or your 'benefits list' or 'advantages' if you should reach your goal. I've done this several times in the past, but I've never been good at keeping them in front of me. I think that's a change that I'm going to make. Enthusiasm is remembering WHY you're doing what your doing.

But I also agree with Susan Powder. (Yes she's still around and yes I still enjoy her messages): Sometimes the motivation is in the doing. Or: (I'm sorry I can't remember who I'm quoting) Success begets success. That is to say, you get off the couch, go for a walk and you feel good, and that 'feel good feeling' motivates you to get of the couch the next day, and the next. I guess I'm back to what I said in the beginning - Just do it! :)

So here's the formula:

Keep your enthusiasm high by cheering yourself on, and believing that you can do it.

Keep your motivation high by focusing on the benefits, advantages the 'why' of your goal.,

And when you lack either of those, keep doing it anyway, because in the doing, you'll find both those other things again...

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

100 Days - Day 6 - Protect your program

Yes - I missed doing a day yesterday - that's ok no big deal. I missed doing the book work, but not the rest of the work. So, I'm good - it's time to pick up where I left off in the book though :)

"Instead of depending on others to help you be successful with your diet. make a commitment that you will protect your program at all costs!"

"Anytime you feel pressured to eat something, sidestep the food pusher by saying, 'Not just yet; I'm going to wait a little while."

Today "Watch for chances to respond to food invitations by using the line "Not just yet; I'm going to wait a little while."

"Identify at least three high-risk times or events such as family gatherings or quiet weekends. Describe how you'll protect your diet program during each of these."

When I first started reading through this exercise for the day I thought - I don't need this. I don't have friends or family that are 'food pushers'. I never feel guilty about telling people 'I'm not eating that". But, just as I was thinking about all of this I got a message from my daughter. "What do you want to do for mother's day? Where do you want to go eat at..."

And I felt guilty!? Guilty that I didn't want to go someplace that she wouldn't consider a 'treat' like deem sum, or Indian or even for Chinese (I love me some lemon chicken!) I even found myself momentarily trying to think of ways to 'get around' my self imposed food restrictions so that I could make her and my other two children happy that they could take me out someplace 'special'.

Thant's when I realized that YES I do need to protect my program - even from my own feelings. My plan? I think I'm going to ask them if we can just BBQ at home. Some chicken and grilled glazed asparagus sound amazing right now :)

99% of the time I'm happy to go to a restaurant and pick out food that fits into my plan - or even eat nothing at all! What bothers me most is when people start going against what they want or are craving so that they don't 'ruin my diet'. Really - I don't need you making sacrifices for me. It doesn't help. It makes me feel guilty and makes me want to go off my diet so I don't feel like I'm ruining your fun. I'm not going to do that ever again!

"Do at least one thing today that reinforces your determination to protect your program at all costs. Write down what you did"
One other thing I wanted to note here. I've had Linda Spangle's book "100 days of weight loss" for several years now. I got the book because I liked the concept, but didn't know much about the author. When I started going through her book again, I ended up signing up for some stuff on her website, and ordered her second book "Life is Hard, Food is Easy" Boy was I surprised the other day when I opened it up and found the introduction to the book was written by the president of Medifast!

Made it feel like a 'small world' and better yet, it felt like a HUGE God wink, that I'm where I'm supposed to be right now.

Alright - going to go heat up my lunch. Peas Out folks! :)

Non-scale Focus

Yes - the scale is still being stubborn. 220 today :

BUT -- I'm still seeing all kinds of progress. Put on a skirt today and I think today's going to be the last day I can wear it. The sweater I have on is super baggy - I'm a little bummed because it's one of my favorite. I think this weekend is going to be the first time in over two years that I box up (and get rid of) clothes that are too big for me. that's such a good feeling!

I like to take measurements once a month. I've found that's usually a good time frame to see big enough changes that don't leave me going - hmmm maybe I just held the tape measure wrong :). So this weekend I'll take measurements again -- and I'll probably take some progress photos too!

Over all, I'm back at work and feel like I'm back on track. That's a good thing :)

Today I struggled

It all started yesterday really.

Two abdominal surgeries have left me with some scar tissue around my large intestine and if the plumbing isn't working correctly I'm in a lot of pain. Well for some reason yesterday I started having a LOT Of pain. Normally the kind of pain I'm in when I've eaten ice cream, but I haven't had ice cream or any dairy in a month. The only thing that's been new in my diet is that Sunday I was drinking a new electrolyte replacement -- guess I won't be having that again.
Still, I've been in pain before... no biggy.

But then later, I went to choir practice. We were informed that our director had been in the hospital and was awaiting test results back to find out if she has swine flu :

Generally I'm not a doom and gloom kind of person -- I would shrug this kind of thing off, but Tuesdays (today) I have a standing meeting with my boss who has a newborn baby at home. So I came home , and dashed off an email to him telling him I would be working from home to try to limit his exposure.

Now, my boss has pretty much given me permission to work from home whenever I need to, but that doesn't keep me from feeling guilty. I mean, yeah I get the same amount of work done at home.. but it just feels weird.

At 3:00 my boss asked if we could have our meeting via conference phone. So, I used my soft phone to call in. Only, I could hear them, but they couldn't hear me -- great. I fiddled with my laptop for a bit, trying to get it working and finally gave up. Next step, cell phone. Only my cell phone is on it's last leg AND I get crappy reception at my house. So there I am, walking around my front yard, holding the antenna in place (cause it's broken) and praying for my phone to work!

Finally I get through - they can hear me, and I can BARELY hear them. I get asked my opinion on something - only because I can't hear, I misunderstand and in front of my boss and my peers I go on a ramble about something completely off topic. When I finally realize what's happened it's too late. :(

An hour of straining to hear what's going on and I was so stressed I was vibrating! I get back to my computer and there's my husband asking if we're going to the gym. I just want to scream
And so, throughout the day... I keep finding myself pacing in the kitchen, or standing in front of the refrigerator taking inventory. Bah!

But I didn't eat anything. In fact, I didn't dwell on the food or that I was being 'bad'. But I did spend some time figuring out what was going on. When I acknowledged that what was driving me to the kitchen was stress, I felt a little better. When I reminded myself that falling off plan would only ADD stress to my life, not remove it - I felt strength and resolve very slowly coming back.

When hubby asked if we were going to workout tonight, I wanted nothing more then to continue sitting on the couch. On top of the stress, I had spent all day at home, and I've found that the old idiom a body at rest will stay at rest is very very true in my case. I didn't 'feel' like working out. I felt like sitting on the couch and eating an entire jar of peanut butter! But instead I told my husband, "I don't feel like going to the gym, I don't feel like working out, but I need to, and I'm going to do it anyway".

He said, "Good, get your butt dressed and ready, I'll see you at the gym at 6:30."

Honestly, making that statement didn't really help all that much. My butt was grumpy at having to leave the house. I was still in pain and still feeling stressed out from my day (and still no word on the swine flu). But I was determined to do it anyway.

I did my weight workout. I started cranky but each rep, each set, each exercise I started to feel a little bit better. By the time I left, while not on cloud nine - I was glad I had come.

Then when I got home I strapped on my headphones and grabbed the dog and went for a run. I didn't think about work, or weight loss or food or anything. I just ran and got sweaty and watched the dog enjoy getting out for a while. And you know what? Then I was glad I had done it all. I was glad I had done it anyway, and I felt good, and I felt motivated and I felt committed to my plan.

My guts aren't 100% just yet - but I think my head's in the right place again!

What the heck is going on?

No, seriously! :) First - my weight loss has been doing a strange yo-you thing since last Wednesday.

Wed: 219.7
Thr: 220.4
Fri: 220.1
Sat: 219.6
Sun: 220.4
Mon: 219.7

I thought maybe it was my allergy meds or something like that, but I stopped taking them, so that wasn't the answer.

Now I've had some pretty serious weight loss over the past four weeks. So I wasn't really worried about this strange activity in my scale - just a little confused by it. What had been concerning me before now was that I had lost (almost) 20 pounds but couldn't 'see' it. My clothes didn't feel radically different, I didn't see the difference in the mirror... nothing

BUT - on Sunday in the midst of all that scale bouncing I noticed that I had to hook my bra one set of hooks smaller.. oooo!

Then I noticed that my 'big' workout pants were feeling a little loose around the hips and in the butt.

At the end of the day I noticed that my ankles were looking much much slimmer, in fact, even after doing a triathlon, my socks weren't 'indenting' my ankles.

Then, today, I put on a pair of pants that fit just last week and they were falling off my hips! The sweater that I pulled on wasn't tight around my arms like the last time I wore it, and again, my socks didn't leave a mark on my ankles when I took them off at the end of the day!!

I know a lot of people have talked about 'mini-stalls' that include a shift in body mass, but I've never experienced it so dramatically before. I'm not complaining! Just observing out loud :)
But what's really strange is how I've felt today.

Yes, I've been on MF for just over four weeks now, and yes I haven't had cravings or anything like that, but I have been hungry...sometimes gnaw off my arm hungry! But today -- nothing! In fact I got so wrapped up in work today that twice.. TWICE I missed a meal and had to double-up to make up for it. What the Heck!?

I can't wait to see what tomorrow is like!


Monday, May 04, 2009

100 Days - Day 5 - Magic Notebook

Get a "magic" notebook (or blog)

"For many people, recording personal thoughts or actions each day provides a lot of insight. It also serves as an outlet for emotions and struggles around weight-loss efforts"

I think this is an easy statement to agree with. I mean most of the people who are reading this are also writing their blogs and know what a valuable tool journaling can be.

Eat it another time

"Just because you think about a food doesn't mean you have to eat it."

"When a food thought crosses your mind, remind yourself that you don't have to act on it. Instead, write down the name or even an description of the food, then anticipate the pleasure of eating it sometime in the future."

Now, I have to say that at this point in my journey I'm a lot better off just dismissing a food as soon as I think about it. I quickly turn my thoughts to other things. But this technique might help some people. What do you think? are you better off recording your food cravings and analyzing them - or just 'turning the other cheek'??

I like this next bit though

"Practice the skill of observing food cues, then letting them go. When you walk into a movie theater, notice the small of popcorn, then forget about it. If it helps, record these cues in your "magic" notebook.



Whenever you think about a particulare food you want, write it down in your notebook.

-- Sorry, already said I wasn't going to do this :) heh

Plan that you'll eat it at another time. If you wish, add the amount you'll have and how often you'll fit it into your program

-- Now this I think will be a great tool for when I hit transition, and I'm going to bookmark this part and come back to it at that time.

Stretch the times farther apart for eating this food. You may discover that after a while, certain foods don't seem as important to you as they once did.

-- Honestly, this is what I think has happened to me with the MF 'cold turkey' approach. Foods that I thought I couldn't stand to not have - have become much lower in importance to me. For the first time ever I feel as if I am in 'recovery' from my food addiction
and I LOVE being free!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

100 Days - Day 4 - Boundaries, not diets

Picture your diet program as a road or a path.  You can define the boundaries ofyour diet road....

Boundaries stay flexible... they allow for common sense and good judgement.

During times when you're strong and focused on your diet, you move the boundaries closer together, making the road narrower.  When you takea break from your program or work on maintenance, you widen the boundaries... 

But even on a really bad day, you never eliminate the road or get off of it completely.

Narrow Road
  • Medifast 5&1 with no snacks or 'extras'
  • Some form of excercise 45 minutes a day/6 days a week
Wider Road
  • Medifast 5&1 with a MF snack such as crackers, or a serving of nuts
  • Sorm form of excercise 45 minutes a day/3 days a week
There's no doubt in my mind that there will be and even wider road down the line.  But right now I'm focused on getting to my first 'mini-goal' of 170.  At that point I'll decide how fast I want/need to continue and base my narrow/wide road from there.  Transition will be another excercise of determining what my boundaries are.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Interesting Discovery

The past four weeks while on Medifast has been really strange for me. I've found myself not tempted by off plan foods, no cravings, no struggles. It's been nice but strange and almost frightening. I mean, what if those feelings spontaneously return?

I still don't fully understand why this is happening to me, but tonight I was able to further clarify the extent in on this very strange feeling I've had.

We went out to dinner tonight at Chili's. As I read through the menu looking for something with chicken and veggies I realized that none of the food was 'attracting' me the way it normally would. I have noticed this over the past few weeks but it was really brought to my attention tonight because I was sitting there reading a menu and I was having this -- indifferent attitude.

If you've never been a food addict, then maybe you can't understand how strange it is to look at a menu of food and be hungry and see the food as -- fuel, not the highlight/pleasure of the day.

Anyway, later as my hubby was flipping through the desert menu and looking at all the pictures I found myself, once again, looking at it all with supreme indifference (and shock at my reaction). Finally I was able to put my finger on the HUGE difference. I couldn't 'taste' the food.

It's the only way I can think of to describe it. While looking at the pictures, while reading the descriptions, I realized my 'normal' reaction of being able to taste the food, to visualize the smell, flavor and texture, was gone! THAT'S why I'm not craving foods.

Is it possible I'm doing it on purpose?!

When I started this diet I gave myself 'no choice' to go off plan. I've not argued with my feast beast, I've just said "NO" and that's it. Has this caused the 'shutdown' of my normal reaction?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining - no by a long long shot. I just don't want it to come back!? If I can hang onto this feeling -- I'll never struggle with my weight again!

100 Days - Day 3 - Do it anyway

Commited means do it anyway

People who are interested in losing weight

  • Stick with it until something better comes along
  • Take action only if tey "feel like" doing it
  • Need to see results in order to stay motivated
  • Blame people or circumstances for their struggles
  • Easily give up when they face challenges
People who are committed to losing weight

  • Stick with their plans no matter what
  • Take action whether they feel like doing it or not
  • Assume that if they stay motivated, results will follow
  • Take responsibility for their own actions
  • Keep going in spite of challenge and setbacks


In your diet or exercise plan, identify a task you don't feel like doing, then do it anyway!

-- I've really been struggling with excercise and I don't know why - probably because I forgot to bring my 'do it anyway' attitude to bear.  Well it's come to bear now and I'm not going to let my 'feelings' determine weather I do it or not.  It's time to be committed to all aspects of this lifestyle.  In fact, it's time to be more committed in a lot of things in my life.   I live way too much of my life just 'interested' in the things around me.  I really do believe that living life to it's fullest means making committments and keeping them.

Notice how it feel sot accomplish a goal by taking a "no matter what" approach to it.

-- Just changing my thinking to "no matter what" gives me a burst of energy and a feeling of satisfaction - imagine what actually living that will do.

In your notebook, make a list of actions you plan to stick with today, regardless of howyou feel at the moment.

-- Get in a short bike and run - despite the rain
-- Eat an extra serving of veggies at dinner
-- Go to bed early and get all the rest I need for tomorrow's big day.

So - anyone reading this blog?  Have you committed?

Weigh-in Day

Saturday is my weigh in day, and today's my weigh in. --219.6!! I met my goal for the week!

That's a 2.7lb loss for this week and a total of 19.4 for four weeks!

As for exercise, I didn't meet my goals for this week. I kept using my race tomorrow as a reason to 'take it easy' only I managed to translate that as 'do nothing'. I don't want to be 'skinny fat' - I want to be FIT! so this week I'm going to be focused. Not having to focus on the food should make focusing on getting my exercise in easy.

Goals for next week?

Sunday - 219.3
Monday - 218.9
Tuesday - 218.6
Wednesday - 218.3
Thursday - 218.0
Friday - 217.6
Final Goal: 217.3

Alright - got to run, I have to go sing at the Relay for life.

Friday, May 01, 2009

100 Days - Day 2 - Interested or committed

Committed means "no matter what!"

You don't blame circumstances or other people for your struggles. Instead, you stay on your diet in spite of not having enough money, time or supportive friends and family members.

Decide that you will always be committed to your weight-loss plan, not just interested.

-- I've been doing that for four weeks now :)

In your notebook, describe how you will stick with your program, no matter what.

-- I will stick with my program, no matter what. As I said before, a party is still a party without a cake, and a night out is still a night out without a drink. When I stay on plan I'm loving myself and it's about time I spent a little love on myself.

Do at least one thing today that demonstrates you are truly committed. For example, take a walk or eat your vegetables - no matter what.

Today - I will go for a walk and make sure that my calories match my TEE on Medifast.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

100 Days - Day 1 - I used to be that Way

Make a list of any fears or negative behaviors that have hurt your weight-loss success in the past.

  1. Getting to the 170-175 lbs mark and then stop following the diet. Adding a nibble here a taste there, until weight loss slows and eventually all progress is lost!

Actually - I think that is my biggest fear - everything else I might write just comes down to that one thing! But here some bad habits that are a breakdown of the 'big one'.

  1. Believing I can have 'just one' and that turns into 'all'
  2. Believing I can do it (go off plan) 'this one time' and that turns into 'all the time'
  3. Skipping one workout, then two, then three, then -- not seeing the gym in months
  4. Letting feelings of deprivation and of 'it's not fair' be excuses to eat things that arn't on plan
  5. Feeling justified in eating beause I'm stressed out or sad

    (I'm sure I'll come up with more!)

    write up new endings for each fear or behavior.

    1. I used to believe that I could have 'just one' and would end up eating 'all', but now I know that just one is too much and I stop this behavior before it starts. If I find myself in the middle of eating them 'all' I stop and say 'no more!' and don't use the "I've fallen, may as well finish what I've started" excuse.
    2. I used to believe that I could use the excuse, 'just this once', to go off plan, and would end up using it ALL the time, but now I know that there is never a good reason for putting your dreams and goals on hold. A party is still a party even without the cake and ice cream. Thanksgiving is still a holiday and a time to be thankful, even without eating 1/2 a pumpking pie. Going to a fancy reseraunt on date night is still a romantic occasion if your eating chicken and steamed veggies.
    3. I used to skip a workout(s) and let that missed workout be an excuse to miss another, and another, but now I don't go two days in a row without doing some sort of excercise. I don't use not getting to the gym or not being able to go outside as a reason to not get the blood pumping and make myself a healthier happier person.
    4. I used to use excuses like "I don't like being deprived" and "It's not fair that they can and I can't" to go off my plan, but now I acknowledge that I have those feelings and then move on. Those thought and others like them are feelings that I can choose to dwell on and be effected by, or that I dissmiss and move on from - I choose the laiter.
    5. I used to use stress or sadness as a reason to go off plan, overeat and even binge, but now I choose to confront my emotions in other ways such as turning the problem over to God, going for a walk/run or even just acknowleding, examining and accepting those feelings as a part of me and a part of life. Covering them in cheese sause and eating them hasn't worked before and it's won't work now.

    100 Days - Introduction

    Step One - Choose your best diet plan

    Already did that - Medifast

    Step Two - Do your plan for 100 days

    Ok - doing that starting now

    Step Three - Track your progress

    I signed up for a free account at "StartYourDiet" It lets me track my goals and also put a 'sticker' on each day. When I feel I've had an 'on plan' day - one that would cause me to lose weight I put a on a green dot. When I've had a day that would cause me to maintain, a yellow dot. When I've had a day that would cause me to gain, red.

    Create a vision for the future

    I've done this so many times before. But I know it's a good excercise, so I'm going to do this again!

    10+ Reasons Why I Want to Reach and Maintain My Goal Weight
    1. It will be easier to run - a few pounds is a few minutes per mile!
    2. I'll look good in my tri suit and in my finish line photos!
    3. Buying clothes is so much more fun when you are skinny!
    4. I'll finally be wearing proof of my abilities on my body and can start my own Personal Training Buisness
    5. Boots that fit and zip over my calf
    6. I can go back to Hawaii and/or Mexico and wear 'real' shorts
    7. Stretching and flexablity is better skinny
    8. Looking sexy for my hubby
    9. No longer feeling like the 'fat girl' everywhere I go (like yoga class)
    10. RESPECT for my knowledge about diet and excercise
    11. Pain free running!
    12. I'll not hate seeing pictures of myself
    13. Wearing any Halloween costume I want

    My 'Why' (written)

    Finishing a triathlon last month was an amazing point in my life. I can't even
    begin to describe how great it feels to accomplish something so - big. 5 months
    of training for one day of intense focus and a life time of bragging rights. And
    yet, the day has a bit of a black blot on in.

    I can barely stand to look at the photos of myself the day of the race. I look so awful standing there in my tri suit, or later in my bike shorts... or frankly in anything. Every photograph makes me cringe and feel a little sick to my stomach. I struggled through the 5 months of training and on race day itself 80% more then anyone else because of my weight! Hauling 240 lbs up a hill is so much harder then hauling 130. And given the fact that my heart and lungs are probably encased in a layer of fat.
    It's a wonder I finished at all.

    And the injuries... There's no doubt in my mind that the struggles I had with leg, ankle and foot injuries were all related to the fact that I was trying to run at 110 lbs overweight. It really is a wonder they didn't just give up on me all together!

    I don't want to give up being a triathlete. I want to continue to race, to be a solid 'middle of the pack' finisher, not just 'happy to not be last'.

    But it's not just the racing. I'm tired of many other things. tired of clothes not fitting, of not being able to wear the styles I love. I'm tired of not being able to be sexy for my hubby by wearing things like stocking and lacy underthings. I want me back! The real me that's self assured and confident!

    THIS is why I'm doing the 100 Days Program and I'm sticking with my plan!

    Stuffy head or stuffy body?

    My weight has been doing some really weird bouncing around weight wise this week. I finally figured out that it was my allergy meds. I guess whatever is in them causes me to retain water. Granted, I know water isn't fat and that only effects my scale weight, but, at this point, with a race coming up on Sunday I really would like to see my scale weight as low as possible. Easier on my feet, knees, hips etc.

    Luckily, the wind seems to have died down. I didn't take any meds today and have managed to be headache free. Just a little sneezing and some sniffles, but those have died down as the day has moved on.

    Tomorrow's weight should really prove if they were having the effect on my weight that I thought they were.

    Other then that - things are going well. Still no major battles with cravings. I'm still finding that I think about having food when I see certain things but as soon as I tell myself "no" the feeling goes away. If I could ever get as disciplined about my exercises -- whew what progress I would be making! :)

    Started a new 'mental exercise' program "100 Days of weight loss". I'm going to be posting my thoughts and insights from that program here too. Starting today :)

    Tuesday, April 28, 2009

    So What's Next?

    I've been battling with headaches (sinus) for the past two days. Stayed home from work today to try to sleep some of it off. I've cleaned out my closet, getting rid of some clothes that are just getting plain ratty and packing away others that are too small. I went through my 'closet of shame' and sorted everything by size so that I can easly transition into the next size when I reach it. I have everything from size 18W (that I wear now) to size 10 (that I wore when I was at my lightest a few years ago.

    So now what do I do? It feels weird to me to not be battling through every day, but just sitting here waiting for the weight loss to happen. I almost miss all the planning and charting and agonizing - Ok - I'm not. But there's still a part of me that feels weird not doing it.

    I think that what's bothering me is normally after the first week or two the initial excitement of a new diet wears off, the motivation lowers and I start to struggle. But here I am, mid week four and although that rush of "I'm on a new diet!" - the 'honeymoon stage' is over and yet here I am, still rolling along. It's strange that I feel a little 'lost' without a battle to wage. Did my weight and obsession with controlling it really take that much of my mental energy and focus, even when I wasn't dieting? If so, what can I do with all this 'extra' I have now? I feel a little lost right now. It's not an all together 'bad' feeling - it's just -- odd. Has anyone else felt like this? Like, since food is no longer the center of my life, the center of my focus, the center of my unhappiness--what's next for me?

    Monday, April 27, 2009

    An 'Ah-ha' moment

    I think I've discovered something about myself in the last three weeks. I don't know why it's never occurred to me before. Maybe I just wasn't ready to know it.

    A LOT, and I mean A LOT of my eating was (I guess) impulsive, or just bad habit.

    For instance, I find that several times during the day when I'm in the kitchen I'll see bananas sitting there. My brain goes, "Look a banana, they are good for us, we should have one". I don't have to be hungry, and it's not something I was craving, I just saw it.

    Where I really noticed that my eating was a habit was when shopping. I drop into drug stores and little quick marts a LOT to grab something to drink. What I've found is I have a REALLY hard time not picking up more then just a drink. Again, I'm not hungry, I'm not craving anything - I'm just there picking up a soda, and for some reason can't pick up a soda without picking out food as well.

    In fact, I can think of many a time when I've actually walked through the store several times looking for something that 'sounds good'.

    In the past, while on a diet, I would justify my purchases by getting protein bars or something 'healthy', for 'just in case'. And then 'just in case' would end up being sitting in the car right out front :

    I love that MF gave me the reason to stop and take a look at these impulsive habits. I've always known I was an emotional eater, but dealt with most of that when I did the Weigh Down Workshop. I know when my compulsion to eat is driven by emotion, I know what to say to my feast beast at those times (I didn't always do, it, but I had the tools if I chose to use them) Now that I've found this other little 'trick' my feast beast plays on me, I feel... stronger, empowered.

    Since I 'failed' on my last diet 2 years ago, and while I gained 70 pounds in 29 months, I have felt so hopeless and helpless.

    This new insight into me is what I need! Bring it on - I want more! :)

    By the way - we went to Outback steakhouse on Saturday night. They have the BEST grilled chicken and steamed veggies! NomNomNom! When they brought the bread to the table I really thought it was going to be hard. But, I refused to fight with my feast beast. (It's like arguing with a child really). I said, "I'm in charge, I'm not having that, and I refuse to feel deprived!". Instead of focusing on what the bread must taste like and having fantasies about melted butter, which would only make me feel deprived and resentful, I focused on how good it felt to have lost 15 lbs, and how awesome the new workout outfit I had just bought was, and how awesome it's going to be on the 3rd to swim/run/ride a bike almost 20 lbs lighter then last time I did a triathlon.

    I know, if I can just keep focused on the positive, I'll make it through this time!

    Saturday, April 25, 2009

    It's Weigh in Day!

    Time to see how I did :)

    Weight this morning: 222.4! yay! That's a 3.3 pound loss for the week.

    My average weight last week was: 228
    My average weight this week is: 224

    So, my average was down 4 pounds! that's excellent!

    Exercise wasn't perfect but, I just get better every week :)

    Saturday was a 10K run in 90 min
    Monday: Yoga for 60 min
    Tuesday: 60 min power walk at lunch including taking the stairs to the Coit tower. Hit the gym for 45 minutes of weight training (chest) and a 30 minute run at home with the dog.
    Wednesday: 45 minutes of weight training (back)
    Thursday: 30 minute walk at lunch, 45 minutes of weight training (shoulders), and 30 minute run w/the dog (in the wind! it nearly blew me over!)
    Friday: 60 minutes of Yoga at lunch, and 45 minutes of weight lifting (arms)

    Total for the week: 540 min!

    Now - before you go telling on me to nutritional support about my exercise :)

    Medifast thinks I burn 2225 calories a day without any exercise at all. Unfortunately, that's not true. The last time I had my metabolism tested I got 1750, and my body bugg says about 1850. With exercise, Medifast believes I'm burning 2600+ a day. With all that I did last week, I averaged a 2886 and that's including the HUGE day I had on Saturday when I burned almost 4000 cal! But, I do believe that I'm doing fine with my burn to cal ratio :)

    Now, this next week should be interesting. Hubby and I plan to get some exercise in this weekend including a bike ride and probably some hiking. I would like to get one more run in too. (we're done with weight lifting for the week). Monday, we'll be back in the gym. I'll be going a little lighter with the training during the week because on Sunday I'm doing another Triathlon! (yay! I'm so excited!)

    Because my Tri is going to be 2+ hours of exercise, I'm going to take the advice of NS and do 4-2-1 that day (4 MF meals, 2 L&G meal and 1 Added snack (of either whole grains or a fruit). It'll be interesting to see how my body reacts to the extra food. But, honestly, I'm more interested in doing well at my tri then the 1 lb or so the extra food might cost me.

    I'll be sure to post pictures!

    So, weight goal for next week: 1% that's 2.2 lbs. that means

    Sun: 222.1
    Mon: 221.7
    Tue: 221.4
    Wed: 221.1
    Thr: 220.8
    Fri: 220.4
    Sat: 220.1 - for weigh in!

    Of course it would be REALLY nice to be out of the 220's next weekend, but I'm sticking to the original plan - 1% a week! Even so that will be close to 20 lbs lost since my first Tri in March - I can't wait to see if my performance improves because of it. I just can't see how it can't.

    Alright - off to wake up my sexy husband (or maybe just crawl back in bed with him *smirk*)

    Everyone have a fantastic and OP weekend!

    Forgot to mention: I met my goal for this week so I'm going to go get a pedicure! I would love to get a manicure too, but just don't think it'll be worth it - after all, I'm supposed to be in the pool 3 days a week - my fingernails just don't stand up to that kind of abuse! :)

    Friday, April 24, 2009

    Attitude Adjustment

    I apologize if my post before offended anyone. I wasn't trying to minimize the work everyone's putting in to lose weight, or the research that went into the plan itself.

    I suppose I should put some of what I said in perspective. The last time I lost significant amounts of weight I was on a program that required 640 minutes of exercise a week (that's 1.5 hrs a day/6 days a week). Planning, adjusting, and preparing my meals took me at least an hour every day, and the results? I lost 13 pounds in 5 weeks.

    On this plan, well I'm not even supposed to be doing exercise yet (even though I am, for other reasons). Food prep? Well when I got my shipment of food I dumped 5 meals into 35 ziplock bags. Every morning I reach into my 'food box' and walk out the door. At night, if I'm running late I stop in Jack in the Box and grab an Asian Chicken Salad w/Grilled Chicken (removing the oranges and you've the perfect lean and green), or I go home and throw together a lean meat and micro some frozen veggies. And I've lost that same 13 lbs, but in two weeks. Yes, MF is easy :)

    That being said, I do understand that ANY weight loss is good for my body.

    And then I tried looking at it from an even different perspective. A lot of my 'body role models' are what some might consider body builders. I've studied body building and body builder's diets for a long long time. When I started to think about what they REALLY do to drop the fat... :) Well a typical diet will consist of Oats, Protein Powder, eggs, Chicken and green veggies. Almost exactly what I'm eating on Medifast? Some female fitness competitors drop their calories down to the 600 Cal range to strip the Body fat before a comp, and hey they didn't impload from the effort!

    I'm done. I'm done worrying, I'm done feeling guilty. I'm done with all of that. It's time to get to the business of losing weight. I'm going to be thankful for the gift this program has given me... HOPE!

    Thursday, April 23, 2009

    Feeling Guilty

    April 4th I started a new diet. A Plan I found online called Medifast. (You might have heard of it, they are advertising EVERYWHERE right now.

    I've been struggling since I started this new program. Not with the food, or with cravings or anything 'normal' like that, but with Guilt. I'm not even really sure where it comes from! I guess I kind of know where it comes from.

    Over my years of dieting I've gradually been lead into the cult mentality that the best foods are whole, natural foods. And that weight loss should be done 'sensibly', through healthy foods and loads of exercise. That eating right should be about good health and not just dropping the pounds. It's also been drilled into me to never, ever, ever, under the penalty of permanently destroying your metabolism, and causing your internal organs to melt, should you drop below 1200 calories a day - period.

    And yet, here I am on a diet that consists 99% of packed, preprocessed foods and that is consistently WELL below that magic 1200 calorie per day mark.

    How do I reconcile these two things? I feel as if somehow I’ve given up - that I'm cheating and taking the easy way out...

    Wait? The easy way out? .

    Does that mean that I believe that dieting and weight loss has to be hard? .

    When I think about it, I have to answer honestly that yes, there is some part of me that believes that losing weight has to be hard. That 'dieting' (the hard kind) is the price I pay for being fat. That by being on this plan where I'm not constantly arguing with myself to make the 'right choice', where I'm regularly passing the chocolate without a struggle, that somehow I'm not 'paying my dues' and there for it can't be real and can't last...

    It's a strange concept to think about. I think I'm slowly starting to come to terms with these thoughts and feelings but not completely. One thing I've been doing to help is to keep my veggies in the 3+ cup range. I've also been toying with adding fruit back into my diet because leaving it out every day is a major source of guilt. .

    Eventually, one of my life goals is to become a personal trainer. I love helping people change their lives through exercise, but I know that eventually someone's going to ask me for advice on how to lose weight. At this point, I don't know what I'm going to tell them. Do I advice them to go the 'healthy' route and perhaps struggle and fail the way I did? Or do I point them to MF as what worked for me? I guess I'll have to ask myself that question again, 100 lbs from now. .

    Confused - but 15 lbs lighter

    Monday, April 20, 2009

    The Mental Side of Weight Loss

    Anyone who's followed my progress for a while will know that I'm a diet book junkie. There aren't many out there that I don't own and have read through. Lately I've found that I'm not as interested in books that talk about eat this/not that, and instead am drawn to those that speak to what keeps me from eating this and not that. Over the years I've found some good ones and I feel like each one adds at least one solid tool to my weight loss tool chest:

    This was the first of such books. It gave me so much to think about and so many great tools when it came to attacking those mental barriers - I've read it all the way through at least twice, and have highlighted all the parts that really spoke to me so that I can easily review them.

    Like the "Thin Commandments" This book is just chock full of tidbits. What I love about this one is it all set out with assignments and daily tasks to help make the ideas permanent.

    An excellent companion to Dr Becks book. Both really highlight how to recognize the irrational thinking that we use when allowing ourselves to overeat. "The Feast Beast" can be a bit challenging to get through. Dr Trimpey's writing style is very... clinical... but she gets her point across and it is all so powerful that it's worth the time to plow through.

    Mrs Castillo recommends that you 'Stop Dieting' to lose weight - a technique I've never been able to put into practice, but that doesn't make the rest of what she has to say any less valid. She's got some excellent exercises that delve not only into solving the overeating issues, but getting you to exercises as well.

    This is my latest book. Mr Gabrial suggests you stop dieting, and use his techniques to, instead, turn off the fat program in your brain. Again, I can't tell you why I don't/can't stop dieting. Fear of being 500lbs is probably part of it :) BUT I love much of what he has to say. His methods of visualization, and other mental exercises are explained better then any other place I've read them. And his explanation for turning on the weight loss program in your brain explains my recent experience with lack of cravings or interest in any food but what's on my plan.

    But, Mr Gabrial's thoughts on visualization brought up something else for me. You see - I was on a plan a while back, on a program with a coach and I was seeing progress and success like never before. But something happened and I never really figured out what. I fell off the horse, I fell HARD and never managed to get back up, until, 2+ years later I've gained back the 40 lbs I lost and 30 more! It still stuns me to think about and it makes me cry to go back and read those blog posts... what the hell happened!?

    Well a little thought popped into my head last night, my husband and I were talking about how both of us tend to be perfectionist. How we have a habit of dropping out of things we feel we won't be 'the best' at. I was telling him that I had to overcome that idea when I did Lavaman, and as I continue to do races. I'm no where near 'the best'. Heck right now I'm struggling to be 'middle of the pack'. But I've found some kind of peace with that - I've found that by changing my mentality, by focusing on the fact that I'm better then the 100's of people I know who have never even finished a Triathlon... There's a certain level of perfection in just being there and doing it when others haven't and wont.

    But what about weight loss?? Well one thing I didn't blog about (I wish I had) was all these creeping negative thoughts that I kept holding at bay. I had surounded myself with photos of bodybuilders and fitness models in an attempt to motivate myself and give myself inspiration. But more and more I found negative thoughts popping into my head. "I'll never look like that" "No matter how much I work out I can't make my legs longer or my breasts perkey." "excercise can't give me long flowing hair..." I had come up agaist my inner perfectionist and even though I never ended those thoughts with "Why even bother" I do have to wonder if that had a lot to do with me 'giving up'.

    It's certainly something to watch for, and the awesome thing is, now I know how to answer that when it does come up.

    And, as if God (or the universe if you prefer) was reinforcing the thoughts I expressed to my husband last night - I got this in the mail today:

    Hello from David Greenwalt,

    In the last Club Lifestyle success tips email I discussed
    how anything worth doing is worth doing poorly for
    a while. I also discussed how anything worth having
    is going to take a period of discomfort endured until
    real success is achieved.

    What If I Don’t End Up As Good As …?

    Sometimes the roadblock to weight-loss success is a
    feeling that you’ll never measure up anyway so why
    bother. To that thought I say the only person you should
    compare yourself against is yourself. Less than one
    percent of us has the genetic ability to look like
    a model. But we all have the ability to be leaner and
    healthier than the average American.

    Your obligation is to do your very best. Don't worry
    about how that compares to someone else. Just do it.
    Everyone is unique. Everyone has their own special
    contribution to make. You'll only discover yours by
    taking action. If you decide in advance that you'll
    never be as good as so-and-so, then you forgo the opportunity
    to find your own unique skills. Winners refuse to even
    acknowledge the competition, by blazing new trails.
    Comparing yourself to others will only bring you down.
    Set off in your own unique direction. Get into action
    make it happen.

    Be sure and stay tuned for the next issue of Club Lifestyle
    tips. In it I’ll discuss how the only way to grow is
    to make mistakes.

    Sincerely yours in health,

    David Greenwalt CSCS
    Leanness Lifestyle
    Muscle Audio

    P.S.: Share this message with a friend—just please
    leave it intact as is.

    Become a member today! All you have to do is visit

    You can take a FREE 30-day test drive!

    --- how awesome is that!?