Friday, September 30, 2005

My allergies just hit full force this afternoon – so I’m a little fuzzy, and my post me be incoherent…

Woke up this morning… If you want to call it ‘woke’. Hit snooze three times and finally fell out of bed at 4:20. We staggered through our morning routine and managed to get out of the house a little before 5:00 which left us getting to the gym at 5:30 – ½ an hour later then normal. I did however wake up enough to get a decent 20 Min HIIT done. Managed 1.5miles easily. I would like to push it to 2 miles – hmmm maybe that should be another of my October goals.

I just ran the numbers and to run 2 miles in 20 minutes I would have to increase my level 6 interval to the same speed as my level 9 now. do that in a month? If I could increase my speed by 10% every week I could do it. Holy Cow!

Anyway – Did three rounds of the ab bootcamp then stretched a whole bunch. I was so out of it that I didn’t even realize the time and I ended up not getting into the locker room until the time I’m usually LEAVING.. Duh. So I missed my ferry and ended up having to catch the next one. No harm/no foul…

Food has been on track for the day.

Took my 12 week pictures last night. NOT happy with the results. It was a ½ assed effort and the results show that. Still no progress is bad progress. I did manage to get some good pictures of the few muscles that are peeping through the fat. Yay! The month of October is going to be dedicated to cutting through the fat. My workouts are inline I just need to make the nutrition follow. That’s my focus.

Now – I've set up some goals for the next Month:

Total loss of 7 pounds
Drop Body Fat by 4%
Drop 1" off my waist
Do 10 Full Military Push Ups
By the end of the challenge have a 'negative' calorie balance (all 'non-plan' items have been offset by an equal amount of cardio)

And since my challenge includes planning and eating my meals… here's tomorrow's nutrition plan:

1) Shredded Wheat, milk, cheese, Banana
2) Apple, string cheese, crackers
3) EFL Open-Faced Burger, Fruit
4) EFL Coconut Pudding
5) EFL Baked Chicken Parmesan
6) EFL Triple Berry Smoothie w/almonds

Workout tomorrow is Chest and Triceps My FAVORITE day!

I'm really excites/scared about the month to come. Excited at the changes I could wrote, scared that I'm going to fall on my face again. When I think about the entire month at once I tend to get overwhelmed. I'm going to just focus on one day at a time. Focus now is to march through tomorrow.

Oh – and my cardio goal for next week is to Increase the miles I run from 1.5 in 20 minutes to 1.65. and to run Sunday (I'm behind this week) Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

Have a GREAT October!

Almost forgot - yesterday when I said my back workout wasn't doing anything... I was mistaken... Oh My Goodness, I'm so sore today!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I didn’t pre-make my meals on Sunday and that’s made lunches a little difficult this week. I’ve ended up eating out a lot, and while I kept things ‘sane’ I don’t think it’s been the ‘best’ I could do. Starting next week things will tighten up a LOT.

One issue we (I) have is that when we finally get home about 7:00PM I’m so exhausted that I don’t feel like making dinner. So today I got the bright idea that I’m going to purchase a crock pot. That way I can fix it and forget it. With the winter rainy season on it’s way coming home to beans, chili, stew, soup and things like that sounds wonderful. I may even take some of my weekends and bake some homemade bread…. Mmmm.

My fiancé was the first one out of bed this morning when the alarm went off at 4:00AM. I took longer, but managed. We were dressed and out of the house before 4:30. I tried ‘nuking’ eggs again for breakfast but one of them EXPLODED and I ended up with ‘egg water’ in the bowl and egg all over the inside of the microwave. So I grabbed a bagel with Peanut butter instead. That didn’t seem to sit well during my workout so I’ll have to figure out something else for tomorrow.

My workout was good and VERY hard today. Back and Shoulders day. I’m pretty happy with the strength in my shoulders but getting frustrated with back exercises. It seems like my ‘assisting’ muscles (like biceps) give out before my back gets a good workout. I guess I’ll just have to wait for those ‘smaller’ muscles to catch up.

So, the workout looked like this:

Assisted Pullups:

170lbsx12, 180x12, 190x12
This was SO frustrating for me. And wasn’t exactly the best way to start off a workout. Doing pull-ups is a goal of mine and knowing I’m 190lbs from being able to do one just set a bad tone for the rest of the time.

Lat Pull down:

75lbsx12 & 60x10/75lbsx10 & 60x8/80lbsx10 & 65x10

Maybe it was the ‘pre-fatigue’ from doing pull-ups but this just seemed REALLY hard today… I’ll have to check but I could have sworn I did 90lbs last time.

T-bar Row:
45lbsx10/35x10/35x10

Wide Grip Row:
60lbsx10/60x10/10x10

Arnold Press:
25lbsx10/25lbsx10/25lbsx7

There was just NO getting this up one more time…

Then came the shoulder super set: Lat raise, front raise, Bent over back Flye
10lbs x 12/8lbs x 10

One thing I hate about Supersets – I tend to try to use the same weight for each and that made the front raise too hard and the back flye too easy. I’m going to change that next time and just grab a whole family of weights – There’s enough weights and few enough lifters that I think I could do that without pissing anyone off. The only real danger is me tripping over them.

The other thing I changed for this workout was I wore my stop watch and tried to limit my rests to 45-60seconds. I had been going by ‘feel’ and waiting until I ‘felt ready’ to go for it again. Timing myself certainly made my workout go by quicker! But I did notice a decrease in performance. I’m guessing that with the longer rest I’m allowing myself to lift more and build more strength, but with the shorter I’m keeping my heart rate up and burning more calories? So I’ll need to decide which is more important to me. Personally I would like my strength training days to be focused on strength and my cardio on calories – if that’s at all possible. I don’t know – maybe someone more knowledgeable then me has some insight.

So – the workout’s done. I’ll be grabbing lunch on the go today but the store across the street has an excellent salad bar.

Oh and I’m setting a goal today of 3 – 24 oz bottles of water before I go home.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Yesterday finished up just fine, so another great day in the books. I had some trouble falling asleep last night – I think I finally drifted off at about 11:00PM. No real issues, like worries or anything like that. I just wasn’t sleepy. Insomnia has been an issue for me on and off for most of my life. At least when I did fall asleep I STAYED that way. Always a plus.

BUT, when the alarm went off at 4:00AM I did NOT want to get up. No really… I hit snooze TWICE and finally forced my body out of bed at 4:20. I was kind of noisy in the kitchen as I threw some eggs into the microwave. (poached eggs.. YUMMY!) I was surprised to find my honey hadn’t fallowed me out of bed so I made my way back to the bedroom. He was still DEAD asleep. Let me tell you I it took all my willpower not to flip off the hall light and crawl back into bed with him. Instead I walked in and kissed him awake. He did me (us) the favor (I guess) of not dragging me back into bed, but instead turned on his bedside light and forced himself out of bed.

We rushed through our morning preparations and still managed to get out of the house by 4:35…being prepared the night before really comes in handy on mornings like this. And amazingly enough – when we hit the car I was fully awake.

Once in the car I gained an even deeper appreciation for my car. My butt and low, lower back (like the muscles around my tailbone) and parts of my back were feeling stiff and sore. I snuggled into my car’s seats and turned the ‘bun warmer’ on high. Ahhhhh It was like spending 30 minutes with a body sized heating pad. Most of the tension and stiffness were melted away.

My workout was good. I’m finding it hard to be enthusiastic about cardio days. I was trying to figure out WHY last night. I mean, I like running. I like getting all breathless and sweaty but it doesn’t ‘turn me on’ the way that lifting weights does. Last night I had a small idea as to why… You see, I’m not GOOD at cardio. In fact, I suck at it. I waddle my way through my HIIT. I am not graceful, nor am I fast. I hit my ‘10’ at 6 Miles per hour – where most folks are warming up.

Now, while I realize that working out should be all about me: Setting goals for myself, reaching my full potential, making every day my personal best, and that I really should keep my eyes on my own treadmill and not compare what I’m doing to anyone else, BUT I do have this itty bitty competitive streak. No, I don’t even know if it’s that. It’s more like a ‘center of attention’ streak. It’s what drives me to stand up and sing karaoke. What makes me volunteer to do public speaking. What helps motivates me to get up at 4:00AM and push myself to the point that\makes other people say, “Holy Shit, look what that chick is lifting!” That doesn’t happen in cardio. The only exclamation I could inspire while on a treadmill would be, “Holy shit, look how much that chick is sweating!”

Aside from that – there is the fact that, as I said – I’m no good at cardio. I struggle, I sweat, I pant: Ok so I do that while weight lifting. The big difference is – it seems like I hit a personal best every day I pick up a weight. Not on every exercise, but on SOMETHING. But cardio? Nope… I struggle day after day and don’t see any improvement. I still can’t even run a 12 minute mile! (for an entire mile)

So – I’m struggling with getting excited about cardio. I’m trying to figure out how to set up a challenge for myself so that I can get excited about showing up for my date with Treddy.

Last of all – I’ve got a new challenge starting – I need to figure out goals, plans, rewards – etc.

Weight training is easy. I’m going to continue to do what I’ve been doing – I’ve got a plan, it’s working I’m happy. I’ll reevaluate at the end of October.

Cardio, as I said earlier, is an issue. I know I need goals, I just have no idea what to make them.

Food is another issue. So many freaking choices! Do I do ‘pure’ BFL with 6 meals fist/palm portions and a free day? Do I do Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle? Do I do the ABS diet?

So let’s evaluate these one by one.

ABS diet

Pros: Simple, versatile, no planning involved
Cons: Too unstructured, No portion controlling, too easy to ‘make excuses’ and eat things I shouldn’t
This may work for a man or someone who’s not dieted before but for a metabolism challenged person like me – I don’t think so. Although I love the idea of every meal needing to contain three of the Power 12 foods

BFFM

Pros: Effective
Cons: Mucho Planning, Inflexible

While I think this is an excellent plan there are some things I have to think about. 1 – do I really need this level of control over my diet right now? Seriously, I doubt it. I’m 65 lbs from my goal – hardly in the need of any of the ‘extreme’ measures this diet offers. (if you go to the extreme side of things) There’s also the fact that I don’t have a lot of time. Yeah, yeah I realize that I could do a whole lot of pre-planning – but there are some days when I just want to be spontaneous. Go to lunch with the boys… whatever… and this plan doesn’t really allow for that.

BFL
Pros: Simple, Flexable, Minimal Planning
Cons: Ever expanding Fist/Palm, little structure – left to wonder ‘am I doing this right?’ when there’s no progress

I love this plan for it’s simplicity. If you’re ever caught without a pre-made meal you simply run into some store grab a fist full of carbs and protein and you’re set! But, there’s the whole ‘not knowing’ that frightens me. Did I do that right? Did I get enough protein today? Did I eat too much? Too little? (and yes eating too little has been an issue with me and BFL before)

So, I think I’m going to do a ‘hybrid’ program. Here are my ‘rules’.

Mon – Saturday meal planning done through Ediets ‘Eating for Life’ program. I’ve got a resource that I can use to keep my meals ‘interesting’ I may as well use it!

Monday’s through Friday’s Meals will be prepared on Sunday to avoid the ‘I don’t have time’ factor.

IF (for whatever reason) I don’t eat one of my ‘planned’ meals then I will stick to the BFL fist/palm portions and the ABS diet power foods. The ‘penalty’ for eating off plan (but still ‘authorized’) will be that I have to enter my daily intake into FitDay to determine my ratios.

The ‘penalty’ for eating off plan and ‘unauthorized’ will be that I have to enter my daily intake into FitDay AND do an appropriate amount of cardio to offset any caloric differences (even if this takes several days)

Sunday is free day – Provided: 1) I’ve done 6 days of workouts the week before and 2) I’ve either lost lbs, inches or Body Fat %

And – I’ll be evaluating this whole thing the end of October.

Now to go work on the rest of my plan!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I double checked on my clothes before we left the house at 4:30AM- whew! Had a killer leg workout once again. Whoop!

Squats: 90lbsx15/130lbsx10/140lbsx10
Leg Press: 150lbsx10/170lbsx10/170lbsx10
Leg Extension: 70lbx12/70lbsx12/60x12
My legs were whimpering at this point
Leg Curls: 55lbsx12/55x12/55x12
Calves: 150lbsx10/150x10/150x8

by this time I was walking funny...

Barbell curl: (40lbsx12)x3
Concentration Curl: (15 x 12)x2

I swear that I looked up at least twice while I was doing the last excercise and caught people staring at me. I don't know if it's just me, or people are just that surprised by a woman being so focused on lifting? I am the only 'serious' female weight lifter in the gym. Some days it makes me want to make faces at all of them.

I seriously have to rethink my morning routine (I know I said that before...) today while doing legs I kept getting lightheaded and dizzy. I extended a lot of my 'rest' periods so I could get my focus back. that's totally NOT cool. So tomorrow I'm going to plan something to eat before hitting the gym and see if that helps. If I'm still having problems then I'm cutting the creatine, etc... If all else fails I'll talk to a Dr. There is a slight chance this could have something to do with my blood pressure. In fact the 'light headed' feeling I was having was very much like when my blood pressure used to be Really Really low and I would constantly get head rushes when I would stand. I'll see how tomorrow goes - it could have just been low blood sugar.

Oh - and while I remembered my suit today, I did manage to forget a bra... hmmmmm. Luckily I had a lacy push-up bra stashed in there from another day so I used it. Not exactly my first choice, but it's better then nothing! lol!

Food was on track yesterday and is shaping up to be again today. The girl at the next desk has laid out lindt chocolate AGAIN but I keep reminding myself that while one 'won't hurt' the 7 I inevitably have after WILL.

Oh yeah, and my fiance' has decided that coming back after a day off is just too hard. He wants to start hitting the gym to do 'something' 7 days a week. hmmm, me thinks I have created a monster ;)

And one LAST thing. I talked to my Dad last night and told him I was back at the gym. He was really glad to hear it. I can't wait to make some SERIOUS progress and show him what I've done. I guess I should add that while others struggle with family that doesn't 'get it'. ~MY~ father is a personal trainer for Balley's. Yeah - somedays it gets to be a lot to live up to ;)

Monday, September 26, 2005

The day it wasn't meant to be...

No, I didn't oversleep this morning. I was up at 4:00AM just as I should be. My fiance' loaded the car while I got dressed and drank my 'breakfast'. We jumped into the car and got on our way. I had spent the weekend with this coil of pent up energy from not working out for two days (planned) I was soooooo looking forward to using it up this morning. I was practically bouncing with the anticipation of hitting my legs today as we pulled into the lot. We parked and started unloading the car. that's when I noticed that there was only one set of clothes in the back of the car! Thinking my eyes were decieving me I softly asked, "Honey, did you grab my clothes?"

He cheerfully pulled my gym back out of the trunk and said, "Yeah!"

I stared at the bag for a minute before replying, "No, my clothes, the ones that were hanging behind yours on the hat rack behind the door."

"You hung up your clothes? I didn't see anything.."

arrrrrggg! So there I was, at the gym at 5:00AM standing in my gym clothes with my gym bag and nothing to change into but bra, underwear, sox and shoes. Grumpily we loaded everything back into the car and drove back home. Something like this is probably not much of a problem for most people but I live 30 minutes (at 4:30AM - 45 minutes at 6:00AM) from the gym. So that means our training time just got eaten up by travel time, and at $3.00/gallon I was none too happy about the gas we were waisting either.

We showered, dressed, put more gas in the car and drove back again - barely made it in time for me to catch my 7:10AM ferry into work. THEN I discovered that somehow my protein pancakes got missplaced. Nothing like loading up with a creatine/energy drink then NOT working out and then going three hours without eating (four by the time I got to work). BLEH! That's the first time I've ever felt sea sick on the ferry.

We had hoped to workout tonight, but my fiance' has since called and let me know that he's going to have to work three hours of overtime tonight. considering that our bedtime is 9:30 (10:00PM at the laitest) I'm thinking that I may have to just settle for some walking after work as my 'workout' and hit it hard the rest of the week.

The good news is that I had a GREAT weekend. Eating was on plan (especially Sunday which was my freeday) and I made the most of my 'rest'. I am SO ready to workout though!

So the week has had a bad start, but I'm going to make the best of it. This is the last week of my current challenge. This one ends on Monday (10/3) But I'm going to start a new one on Friday (9/30) because I want Friday's to be my new weigh in day.

I'm going to be writing out goals soon because this one is going to be all about nutrition. I feel my workouts are 'working' for me - if I get the 'eats' in place... I'll be looking steller in NO TIME.

Friday, September 23, 2005

I ate chocolate again. I'll not bore you with the details. I'll just say that I've got to realize that sweets for me are like alcohol to an alcoholic. There is no 'have just one'. That's why saving things like that for a 'free day' works so well for me. When I have 'just one' or try to have 'everything in moderation' I end up overindulging every single day. When I contain it into one day... well that works for me.

Now to put it into practice...

I was feeling pretty good this morning... I grabbed a tape measure and my waist is down to 37.5 (from 39.25) and my hips are down to 38.5 (from 40). My body fat % is down to 48%. But then I made the mistake of looking at my weight - 205.5! I've gained 2 lbs in 2 weeks! Yes, yes I realize I shouldn't care about scale weight. Every part of my logical mind KNOWS this, and yet emotionally I'm still tied to it. Maybe I do need to take pictures more often then every 12 weeks... because that's usually tells the MOST important tale for me (even more then inches or Body Fat %)and obviously the scale isn't moving - but things are happening.


My workout was good and yet another reson I should be feeling positive...

Decline Bench Press (dumbbells) - 30lbs x 15/35lbs x 12/35lbs x 12
Added another 5 lbs to my dumbbell press - that was SOOOO exciting!
Incline Flys - (25lbs x 12)x 3
No upping this weight yet, but at the first sign that this is isn't a struggle I'll be throwing another 5 lbs on there...
Bench Press (barbell) 60lbs x 10/60lbs x 5 & 50lbs x 7/50lbs x 10
this one dissapointed me a little because I was hoping to do an entire three sets with 60 lbs. One of my goals to to bench 120 lbs so adding weight here is constantly on my mind - HOWEVER I had added weight on the decline press earlier in the morning so perhaps that's why I struggled here - who knows? One thing though - does anyone know of any good artcles on how to correctly spot someone? I asked my fiance' for help and when I started to struggle with 60 lbs on the second set he grabbed the bar and racked it for me. It frustrated me a little, but I just took 10 lbs off the bar and finished the set... then when I thought I might need a little help with 50... I look up and he's staring into space! I really think - it wasn't because he didn't care - he just had no idea what he was doing there.
Push-ups: Full pushups! 4/4 Negatives 5
I was SO excited - last week I couldn't do even ONE full pushup, today I did four! I'll reach my goal of 10 before too long. Consitering I weigh 205 lbs right now a full pushup is Quite a bit of weight...
Tricep Extension (cable&rope) 30lbs x 15 & 20 x 8/30lbs x 12 & 20 x 8/30x10 & 20x6
Close Crip Bench Press (60lbs x 10)x3 I think I could have gone up in weight on this, but getting the short bar into position was difficult... if someone had been around to help me I think I could have managed. maybe next time.
One arm tricep pushdown: 30lbs x 10/25lbs x 10

Food today will be ON PLAN - I won't accept anything less from myself today!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Well yesterday was yellow - Some days it's like the 'adult' in my just passes out and when the bratty little kid says..."let's have a cookie!" there's no one to even put up a fight! I swear, last night when I thought about WHY I ate not just one but TWO fresh hot Choc-chip cookies, when I tried to annalys what my excuse had been to 'go ahead' so that I could try to counter it next time, I realized I hadn't made one. There was cookies, I grabbed one and ate it - no argument, no excuse. What the heck is up with that?

Today's workout was ok. Not steller but ok. Got up and and abs: Oblique crunches, crunches, ball crunches, roman chair leg lifts and leg raises off the bench. Then I jumpped on a treadmill for cardio. As soon as I started I could tell I was suffering from 'led legs' again. So, rather then push it I just kept it at a steady state cardio for most of my run. I pushed myself through one interval towards the end, but for the most part just made sure I met my goal of 1.5 miles and didn't worry that much about time. I finished up by doing some stretching to cool down.

I'll be glad when I get some energy back! The important thing is that I'm doing it! I swear (as I've said before) if I ever get the nutrition down big things are going to happen - BIG things.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Yesterday ended up Green! whoop! I was tired all day long but still stated focused and on track.

This morning I woke up MUCH better rested. Yesterday's exhaustion was explained by the arrival of TTOM this morning. Now my energy is back and I used it to the fullest this morning. Up at 4:00AM and at the gym by 5:00... Today was back and shoulders.

Good Mornings: 20lbs x 15/35 x 15
Front Lat. Pull-Down: 90lbs x 12/90 x 12/75 x 10
Barbell Rows: 50lbs x 12 & 35lbsx 8/60 x 19 & 45 x 8/60 x 10 & 45 x8
Close-Grip Lat. Pull-Down: 60lbs x 10/75 x 10/90x10
Lateral Raise (single arm cable): 10lbs x 15/15 x 12
Front Shoulder Raise (dumbells): 10lbs x 10/15x4 & 10 x 8
Front Shoulder Press: 25lbs x 12/25 x 12/25 x 12
Bent over Lateral Raise (single arm cable): 15lbs x 10/15lbs x 12

I am finding that going until 7:00AM without eating is NOT working for me. I'm going to have to eat SOME kind a meal before hitting the gym - suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Food should be 100% again today.

In other good news I saw a muscle again today. Every once in a while, when the lighting is right I actually see my delts rise out of the mire and let themselves be known. I get such a thrill when I see it. It's one of those things that keep me pushing harder each and every day.


One thing I've noticed I've got to work on. Unclenching my jaw. I'm working HARD... to the limits of my strength all the time. Hard enough to make 'that ugly face'. Today when I left the gym I noticed my jaw was aching from clenching it while lifting. My jawline is strong enough as it is! I don't need to build any muscle there! I'm seriously thinking of growing my hair out to try to create as soft a 'look' as possible. with the weight I've already lost my face is already getting really angular and I want to avoid 'looking like a man' at all costs. I don't mind being as strong as one - but looking like one? No thanks!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Sunday when I took my kids to the gym and I was showing my oldest around the circuit training equipment: She was on the shoulder press machine and decided that the weight wasn’t correct. Rather then make her get up, I bent down and changed the weight for her. I then turned to look at her as I was standing, and being the lithe and graceful creature that I am… whacked my head on the handle of the machine. I didn’t hit that hard but I hit right on the outside part of the ridge of my eyebrow. It swelled up immediately into a really nice knot and hurt the rest of the day anytime I made expansive facial expressions.

Yesterday it was still swollen and had turned lightly purple. Eye is pretty deep set so it looked more like a shadow or like I had worn makeup. But today… Oh today it’s a LOVELY shade of purple. I’ve already noticed people staring and the girl that has the desk next to mine said “Oh what did you do to your eye!”

I told her the truth, I hit myself while weight lifting. And just to prove what a workout nut (and klutz) I’m known as… she believed me.

Yesterday ended just fine. I ate all my food as planned and then came home and had a clean dinner. I need to enter all my food and see how I did - I suspect I was a little low in calories because I only had five meals before falling into bed exausted at 8:45.

I really had a problem dragging my butt out of bed this morning but I did it. I kept reminding myself that it would 'only hurt for a little while'. Unfortunatly I stayed groggy the entire time. I hit the abs with three rounds of a four excercise SS then did back extensions. After that I jumped on the treadmill with the plans of doing a 20 min HIIT. I was tired. NOT just sleepy but lead legged no energy TIRED. I pushed through the first interval cursing myself the entire time. I kept wanting to knock the speed down but talked myself out of it. Interval #2 was another fight. I kept expecting the lethergy to fade away, but it didn't. I was huffing at the end of my second interval. Still I didn't let myself quit. I started on the third. I was using every trick I could think of to keep myself into it. First I ran away from the icky fat thighs I could see reflected back at me in the mirror. Then I was running toward the nice lean thighs I could see when I visulized my goals. Minute after minute clicked off and I finally made it through the third interval. I knew I only had one more to go but even that wasn't helping by now. I was doing active recovery and leaning on the handrails panting. My minute of recovery clicked by and I bumped the treadmill up to the next speed. I kept pushing and pushing... Now what was supposed to be a level 7 was feeling like a level 10. But I didn't want to quit I wanted to finish to feel like I gave it my all! About 30 seconds in I had to jump off the tread. I stood there gasping for a few moments and then got back on... I managed about 10 seconds before I had to slow the treadmill down to 'cool down' speed. I had nothing left. I made myself finish 1.5 miles even if I was only going the 'cool down' speed. I pushed - but still felt bad not to finish. After that I spent 15 minutes stretching. I'm still trying to rehab a bad hip and I would like to get back to being able to do a front split. Amazingly I'm not all that far away.

On a positve note - I got three compliments yesterday.

1) I had missplaced my gym membership card on Sunday and the guy at the front desk was looking for it for me. He found it and brought it to me while I was preparing to do front squats. I had just loaded the bar with fourty pounds and had lifted it onto my chest as he approached. I looked over and his eyes got really big and he said..."Wow, strong lady! I like that!" I kind of like impressing the guy who works at the gym, even if he is a 'little' creepy ;)

2) After the guy walked away I happened to overhear one of the guys working out nearby say to his workout buddy, "...Yeah, but I bet she could kick your a$$" My fiance says that about me all the time.. lol (I assumened they were talking about me since I was the only female in the room - and they were looking my way)

3) As I was walking to the ferry after work I got whistled at. And not only whistled at but 'hollered' at. It's been a long time since I've had 'nice legs!' shouted at me. It was kind of nice. And it feels great to know that slowly but surely... I'm getting 'it' back ;)

Oh and one last thing... I picked a new magazine yesterday and my fiance and I were looking at it together. He happend to point to one of the girls and said..."Now she's a 'big girl'" That's when I realized that these magazines need to show these fitness girls with someone 'average' once in a while so that we can keep things in perspective. yeah, with all her muscles etc the girl did look 'big' (and not in a negative way) But (as I explained to him) she probably has a 25" (or even smaller) waist... Hello that's smaller then ONE of my thighs! kind of puts a new spin on things...

Monday, September 19, 2005

I took the time yesterday and packed ALL my lunches for the week. Hopefully that will help to keep the chocolate monsters at bay.

My weight was up 1 lb this week. Considering the 'timing' I'm not surprised or especially concerned.

We went to the gym yesterday. I took my kids. It was actually a lot of fun. I took my 17 year old through a circuit training workout - helped my 12 year old work her legs and tried to get my 14 year old son to pick something to workout on and not just bounce from machine to machine. We all did cardio together after that. My son did the elliptical. then that weird machine I never seen anyone use where you pedal like a bike but with your hands, then jumped back on the elliptical and finally settled on a bike. My youngest jumped on an elliptical and it was like she was BORN on the thing... she just went to town and had a ball. My oldest and I grabbed Treadmills side by side and I walked her through a 20 minute HIIT run. She did a great job keeping up and I think was surprised how easy it was to run 1.5 miles that way.


Unfortunately, because I had a free day and Saturday and WAY overdid it - I ate too little yesterday (went by my hunger instead of eating what I knew I needed). So this morning's workout seemed to be missing a little 'umph'. Was certainly a lesson in nutrition. Even so went I sent to do curls I was able to lift 20 lbs for 12 for two sets, and then 6 of the next set of 12. Before today the most I had lifted with 20 lbs in a row was 6! I also hit legs today: Front Squats, Single Leg Extensions, Curls, Dead Lifts and calf raises. Tomorrow Abs and cardio.

There is no doubt in my mind that if I get my program firing on all cylinders - with the workouts I've been having I'll be seeing tremendous results - I'm tightening my mental belt getting ready to face this week. One day at a time...If I can get in the groove NOW - it will sure make it easier to make it through the holidays without damage...

Friday, September 16, 2005

Well workouts are going GREAT... and I do mean great. Today was chest and Triceps. Once again I suprised myself with the quality and intensity of what I was able to do...

I started with Decline Bench Press with Dumbells - 15/12/12 @ 30 lbs. Only 20 more lbs and I'll up to fifty like Nicole. HAHAHA.. 'only' But give me some time and I'll get there - it's one of my long term goals.

This was supersetted with Incline Flys - 12/12/12 @ 20 lbs. Let me tell you the last six were HELL!

Then I went over to the flat bench and lifted 50lbs for 10/10/10.

and if that wasn't enough I then did two sets of 'modified' (aka 'girl') pushups to Fatigue

Next was Tricep extensions I had a 15 and 10lb dumbell and did a 'set' if 15 and immediatly did a second set with the lighter weight... 15&8/12&8/10&6

I jumped back ON the flat bench and did closs-grip presses first with just the bar for 10- THEN because I realized the bar was too long I went and grabbed the 'short' bars with set weights on them.. I did 50lbs for 10 and then 60lbs for 10. Let me tell you, on that last set my pecs were doing little twitchy dances...It was cool

And to finish the whole thing off I did One arm Tricep Pushdowns 30 lbs for 12/12

After Wednesday's back workout and today's chest - I'll be surprised if I can move my arms tomorrow.

But now for the other 1/2 of the story. Yesterday I was doing really good... operative word 'WAS'. It just sucks that for once I've got the workout portion of my routine going strong - but I can't seem to get a handle on the food! I didn't hold out against the cookies and chocolate, and this time there was no 'reason'. I wasn't hungry, I wasn't stressed. I caved and said.."Just one". Unfortunatly - I'm a 'holic' and there is no such thing as 'just one'. Other then that, my food was clean. Dinner was a nice turkey patty and some beans.

Today I ate clean too. Nice whole clean foods. I allowed myself 'just one' cocolate again.. luckily it was all she had. If I could only figure out a way to be 'on' with my food the way I have been with workouts... There is no telling WHAT changes I could wroat.

By the way - I woke up this morning SO TIRED. I rolled over and hit the 'snooze' button. When the alarm went off again I flipped back the covers and jumped out of bed (it's kind of like jumping into the cold lake - you just have to DO it). My fiance mumbled.."Im so tired..." I said, "I am too, our bodies must really be needing all this rest and recovery time" (we were in bed by 9:30PM again last night btw). So my fiance' retorts.."so what are we going to do?" my answer? "We're going to get ready and go!" It wasn't easy. I was SO tired but after about 15 minutes I had warmed up and felt human. I remined my fiance' that the extra 1.5 hr of sleep wasn't worth it and he agreed. I don't know what's happened to me - really I don't--Maybe I've just become an endorphine junky (which kind of explains my chocolate binging too in a way)

I'm at the point with food that I'm about ready to buy some sugar blocking gum. Maybe it's time to read "The Thin commandments" again. last time I did that I was 'ON' with food, I just couldn't get my excercise regular.

Still hanging in there...

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Yeah, I think I really did learn my lesson on Tuesday. This morning when the alarm went off I REALLY didn't want to get out of bed. (even though I had gone to bed at 9:30 last night). I literally walked into the kitchen with my eyes open only enough to keep me from tripping. I mixed up my No-Xplode, drank it, was too tired to even shudder at the taiste and then shuffled back into the living room to sit on the couch and stare at the wall. (Think Shaun of the Dead). I finally managed to get dressed, get my things together and head out the door and by that time I was... awake! It took about 20 minutes to clear the cobwebs but I did it. And I can tell you for certain that upon waking up, this would have been one of those days that I would have hit the alarm button, rolled over and fallen back to sleep in my previous life.

Yesterday was a wierd day. by afternoon I was feeling REALLY tired and I was hungry even though I had eaten as I should have. I really didn't want to eat any additional food because my planned meals were already going to be put at 1800 cals for the day (and believe me - it's really hard for me not to freek out at eating that much as it is). So I kept fighting the hunger. And it kept getting worse. Even worse was that the girl sitting next to me (and I do mean next to me - as in I have to actually brush past her desk to get out of our workspace) had cookies - sweedish cookies sitting on her desk. Every time I got up to go to the bathroom (or anyplace else for that matter) I had to stare down those cookies. Then my stomach would jerk and remind me how HUNGRY I was. The final straw came when I went into the kitchen and stopped myself with my hand 1/2 way into the bag of hershy bars and marshmallows left over from the smores they had all made Friday Afternoon. GAH! I immedialty went back to my desk, grabbed my coat and purse and RAN to the store. I grabbed a MRB and one of these AWSOME all natural Vegan 'bars' that they have there. I ate the MRB... waited and was STILL craving cookies so I ate 1/2 the vegan bar... That finally satiated me enough that I made it through the rest of the afternoon - WHEW!

The thought crossed my mind that it could be "TTOM" on the way... usually I'm RAVINOUS like this the day before I start, but if it starts today - I would be four days early of my normal 'short' cycle. But wierder things have happened. I brought extra food today incase the monster hits again.

My workout today was great

110/120/130 for 15 reps on cable crunches
Then I did, 3 sets of 15 of:
Side Crunches
Twisting crunches
Ball Crunches
Captain Chair leg raises
and
Ball Crunches

Between sets I stretched - especially my hip which has been bothering me for over a month now.

After all of that I jumped on the treadmill and did 20 minutes of HIIT

Another workout in the books

I've got DOMS in my shoulders today from yesterday's workout - it ROCKED...Arnold Presses are my new favorite excercise.

Have a great day everyone.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Yesterday was a really strange day. My fiance' and I woke up at 4:00AM (well the alarm woke us up in reality). We got out of bed and shambled into the livingroom where our clothes were laid out ready to go. After a few moments of staring into space he looked at me and said 'Can today be our 'rest' day?' Me, being the hardline goal oriented person that I am said.. 'I don't see why not.'

So we shuffled back into the bedroom and collapsed back into bed. It took us about five minutes to realize what a mistake THAT was. We were only going to get to sleep in an additional hour and a half and fifteen minutes of that was going to be spent trying to fall back to sleep and the last 15 would be spent waking up and glancing at the clock every minute or two to make sure we didn't oversleep! Duh!

When we drug ourselves back out of bed at 5:30 we agreed that we were just as tired then as we were at 4:00AM and now we had missed a workout.

I spent the day feeling drug out and and groggy. My fiance' said his body kept asking.."when are we going to workout out?" By the time we got home there was NO QUESTION that we had short changed ourselves. We agree at that moment that no matter how tired we were when we woke up. Going back to bed wasn't going to mmake it better, only a workout would.

Quite the epiphany for a 'non-morning person' like me

So, back at the gym this morning *whoop*

I've been having such amazing workouts lately. I have to say being in the gym has had a LOT to do with it. There is something about it... and the morning crowd that just has me pushing every set to the limit. Today was back and shoulders and I FRIED them both - Upped the weight on almost every excercise. I've gotten my narrow grip lat pulldown up to 90 lbs... that's almost 1/2 my body weight! If I keep pushing that up, and keep getting my body weight down, then eventually the twain shall meet and I'll be doing pullups! Wide Grip rows are also up to 90 lbs. I did arnold presses with 25 lb dumbells - Hel-lo and shoulders were always my 'week' point. Upright rows: 40 lbs. by the time I got to my lat raise/bent lat raise superset I was 'huffen' to get those things done with 15lbs!

Still, I left dancing with joy... just without much arm movement.

I say again... Whoop!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Where to start?

Well I guess Friday is a good place. We stopped at the Vitamin Shoppe Friday after work. My fiancé wanted to pick something up to give him a little ‘boost’ during his workouts (like acceleraide) and I wanted to pick up some Betagen. We started looking around and I quickly decided I didn’t want any acceleraide because it looked to be pure sugar. I really don’t need that kind of boost. So we looked a little further and found this stuff called No-Xplode. Granted, the package promised the world – and I was skeptical. But it did say it would boost energy, plus it had creatine in it AND no sugar. The over the top claims of more mental focus and mind body connection, I was willing to take a with a grain of salt. So I bought some to try.

Saturday we did our weekly stop at Target. We’re trying to slowly add more workout clothes to our wardrobe so we’ve been setting aside a little out of each check to purchase some. While scanning through the book section I spotted this book in called “the Abs Diet – Eat Right Every Time Guide.” I gave it a quick glace and decided to pick it up. It seemed perfect for my honey because he doesn’t want to diet, but simply wants to be better educated and make better choices. So this was perfect for him. I read it over the weekend and frankly am using the plan for myself as well. I love the simplicity of it.

Sunday came the big test. I had missed a workout on Wednesday so we decided to make it up over the weekend. We got up and after changing had a serving of the No-xplode. It’s nasty tasting… we both agree with that. Super Sour, with a little of the sliminess of Gatorade plus another taste that can be described other then to say it’s BAD. But it’s only 8oz. If I put my mind to it I can get it all down in one good ‘chug’. About 30 minutes after taking it (we have a 30 minute drive to the gym) I noticed I was getting warm. That wouldn’t seem odd to most people except I’m ALWAYS cold. I figured that was a good sign. By the time I hit the door of the gym I was sweating. Interesting. I can honestly say that I didn’t feel a burst of energy or anything like that. But I’m a caffeine addict so I’m not really expecting much. What I did notice was: I could lift more. Common with creatine use I know, but it still surprised me. I was warm and sweated GALLONS. I’m normally a sweater anyway, but I tend to reserve the ‘dripping off the hair’ for cardio days. But Sunday I was literally DRIPPING just while working chest and triceps. I’m hoping that’s an indication that my metabolism is speeding up. When I took Ephedra it used to up my body temperature too. My mood was incredible. Yeah – the package talks about mental focus, and frankly that was the part I scoffed the most about, but it certainly was the one I noticed the most. I was literally DANCING between sets to the corny gym music, smiling between exercises. It was amazing. And lastly, when I left the gym I was still feeling good. I was muscle tired but not exhausted like I normally am. I literally had to tell myself ‘it’s time to stop’. Rather then lay there thinking “I can’t do any more’. The best part of all – it had the same effect today when I got up at 4:00AM to train. WHOOP! (Fiancé noticed all the same effects though he got an energy burst – and this morning when taking two scoops it bothered his stomach)

This last bit of news is the most exciting. (at least to me it is). This morning I climbed on the recumbent bike to warm up. The ones at our gym have arm rests and because I’m just warming up, I use them. As my RPM’s go up I tend to press down on them to give myself some leverage. So I’m peddling away when I look up into the mirror and notice my arm. “Wow,” I thought, “that shadow make it look like I have a separation between my arm and delt. How cool.” Then I lifted my arm off the rest and noticed that the ‘shadow’ was gone! I put my arm back, nothing, pressed down and ‘poof’ there it was again! That wasn’t a shadow it was *gasp* definition! I quickly poked my fiancé on the bike next to mine and whispered, “Can you see that? There’s a line in my arm” He had to disappoint me by saying he couldn’t see my arm from where he was but then I got a bright idea and checked out my left arm. Glory be – there was a line in that one too! I got the attention of my fiancé and pointed it out to him. “See! Do you see that?” He could see my left arm in the mirror and was happy to confirm that yes, indeed there WAS a line in my arm. I could have gone home happy at that point, but it didn’t stop there. As it happened today was bicep day. So after working my legs (I squatted 130 lbs today yay me!) I went over to the dumbbell rack to do curls. So, I grab my 20 lb dumbbells and go stand facing the mirror. As I start to curl I notice my delts ‘pop’! My entire arm cap stood up under my skin so clear I could see serrations. I nearly passed out with joy! Me – the chubby girl – I have muscles! The only reason I think I never noticed before is that I normally wear shirts with sleeves but today – I chose a tank top. All I can say is I think I’m going to go out and buy some more tank tops! And I can’t wait till the fat thins on the rest of my body so I can see what’s hiding under there too.

Other good news? I’m losing fat – finally! It’s starting to finally get noticeable. My hip measurement (which included my horrid tummy pouch) has dropped form 50 to 48.5 (in 9 weeks) and my ‘side boobs’ are going away. I also think I’ve lost a few rolls off my back, but I’ll have to wait for picture day to be sure. In the past week my weight has dropped from 203.8 to 203.4 and body fat from 50% to 49%. I think that’s a 2 lb fat loss and that’s all I’m asking for!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Well, yesterday I fell apart... Everything at work came to a head. After last nights talk with my sweetheart about my recent attitude and how it was affecting him... and more crap coming down at work...

I needed to vent before I blew up. So, when two of my good friends/co workers asked if I wanted to go to lunch, I accepted. Of course it meant going off plan. I did pretty well though, chicken curry and rice wasn't THAT far off the mark. After talking to my friends it became apparent that 'something must be done'. And that involved confrontation. I'm NOT good at confrontation. So while stressing out at a job I hate, and planning an assult on my boss that was going to involve me saying the words "I can't do this anymore, it's a waste of my time and the companies money..." and My neighbor at the next desk 'pushing' her lendt (swiss) chocolate... I caved. It was REALLY good choclate and truthfully I felt better after eating it.

I went light at dinner so calorie-wise I did ok.. just the ratios and content were off. today's a new day.

I didn't get to the gym today (yet). Last night at 12:30AM my fiance's phone rang. He didn't answer it, but I got up and looked and saw it was a call from his mother. Since his Dad has been in and out of the hospital since ... hmm.. july? I spent most of the restless night wondering what was going on. He finally checked his messages this morning and all his mom said was "Can you come down this weekend? I really need your help with something.." and she was whispering. Since 4:00AM was too early to call her back we had to wait until later to find out what was going on. It ended up being something small (she needed a password to one of the financial accounts). Why she called at 12:00AM we'll never know. BUT in the meanwhile we didn't go to the gym this morning as we were rather preoccupied. I brought my own car to work because by the time I left we wern't sure if he was going to be leaving to rush to his mother's side or what.

I'll either workout here in the city at lunch or after work - no rest for the wicked.

I'll probably be posting more about the 'family' issues on my other blog if you care to know more.

Other then that - I'm doing ok - stress levels are back to normal. I'm expecting some answers from my boss on Friday on what my next step is. I currently have no need for chocolate. :)

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I made it through the night. I don't know why I'm fighting cravings all of a sudden. It could be because I had a little emotional upheavel last night. Nothing major but my fiance and I had a talk that brought up a lot of issues that I've been avoiding. Things like my weight effecting my self confidence. How much I hate my job and how it's wearing on my self confidence. How these things are effecting the way I view myself, the world and then treat him. It's hard to be loving to someone when you fee like crap about yourself.

I just know that I need to stick to my plan even when I don't 'feel' like it. Here is where the rubber meets the road as they say.

I really do need to get my house in order though. Taking are of my job 'issues' is one big step I need to take. I need a plan.. no, I need a goal, THEN a plan. sound familure?

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Major cravings tonight... I don't know what's wrong with me.

Must

Be

Strong
I guess a HUGE update is in order....

Thursday ended just as I had planned. The only thing that didn't go as I had expected was that I didn't get my big 100 bar. I was so excited, walked into the store, mouth ready, reached for a bar only to discover... it was EMPTY! I recovered, had a shake instead and the day went on. I did NOT use this as an excuse to go off plan and I'm SO happy about that.

Friday, it was an early day 4:00 AM (that's right I got up at 4:00AM every day last week - I'm so proud of me!) Workout was fantastic and food went as planned. No problems. After work I went out with a couple of my co-workers. They both had drinks but I stayed with a diet soda. I was just too excited about my hard work and progress to throw it off by having alcohol. Best of all one of my coworkers (male even) commented that he could tell I've been losing weight. That was cool.

The long weekend was a disaster waiting to happen. Three days in the house with food. But again I didn't let my 'old self' get the best of me. Granted things weren't as clean as a weekday, but they were great for weekend days. Of course Sunday was a free day, but kept my calories in line and skipped the alcohol once again. I'll talk more about Sunday below.

Monday was a real milestone for me. Instead of blowing off everything because 'it's a holiday'... My fiance and I got our things together and hit the gym first thing (of course first thing meant 12:00 instead of 4:00 but hey, what do you expect, it was a holiday). It sure made it feel like I accomplished something. We had picked up a book on stretching on Sunday while we were out so later in the day we sat down and went through it. After getting good and relaxed and giving my 'bad' hip some good stretches, I talked my fiance into trying to pop my back. My back has been so bad lately stiff and sore and NOT in a good way. So, I laid on my stomach and put my hands under my forehead and got my fiance to 'push' on either side of my spine. It didn't take much pressure and I was 'snap, crackle, popping' all over the place! It felt SO GOOD! Then I stood up, crossed my hands over my chest and had him pick me up and give me a squeeze and shake... Everything popped again. I tell you, I'm a new woman! I also packed all my lunches for the week, so there should be NO PROBLEM with the food for the next four days.

And the results of my first week? From 205.4 to 203.8 lbs...1.6 lbs. Not as much as I would like, but it's results. and I'll go another week with this schedule and see how it goes. If I'm not seeing a bigger loss after another week, I'll cut the calories.

This morning we were up at 4:00AM. My fiance started off a little slow last week, but as we've been really consistent he's gotten more and more excited about working out and the results he's already seeing. He says his shoulder is feeling better (he has frozen shoulder syndrome) and he's got tons more mobility out of it. He's seeing huge gains in the weight he can push with his legs already. He says he'd like to be in 'great' shape before he's 40. That's two years away. I tried to challenge him and told him I thought he could do it in six months. We'll see how it goes.

Now - about Sunday.

Sunday we went to the Scottish highland games. The booths and stuff for sale is really cool, but I go for the GAMES. Watching these strength athletes at work is absolutely amazing. It gets me motivated every time!

Two years ago when I started doing BFL I got a lot of grief from my fiance. He was concerned that I would get 'bulky', that I would turn into some hulk. Then we went to the games and we saw this woman... Shannon Hartnett. One look and my fiance turned and looked at me and said - You could do that! You could look like that! I agreed on both counts. She was amazing looking. Neither of us could get enough of this woman. Yes, there was a time when she was much 'bigger' then she is now. (she was at one time the fifth strongest woman in the world!) but at this point in her life she's 'perfect'. AND she showed my fiance that you can throw around a 60 lb telephone pole, or launch a 22 lb weight 17 feet in the air and still be a girl.

No, I didn't reach my goals to look like Shannon then. But going back and seeing her again renewed my thirst. I want to go in to the gym every day, lift and lift heavy. I want to build sexy muscles that will allow me to not just LOOK good but DO things. Yeah, I'm actually considering trying to learn to throw telephone poles and toss weights over the high jump bar. To give my muscle some sort of purpose beyond 'looking good'.

So my workouts have new purpose. I love it!

And lastly... while walking around looking at the 'stuff' for sale. My fiance picked up a tank top and exclaimed "This is YOU!" He turned it around and showed me a black tank with the words... "Viking vixen" printed on them along with a horned helmet. It thrilled me that he would think of me that way and of course I HAD to buy it!. I've considered wearing it to the gym...lol!

Pictures I took of Shannon can be see here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/51035824665@N01/sets/892360/

Thursday, September 01, 2005

I did it again!

Yesterday was another PERFECT day. Food was right on. I spent the evening last night pre-making today's meals so there should be no problem there either. Because I've been so good this week (AND because it fits the ratios for today) I'm going to allow myself a Big 100 chocolate chip cookie dough bar for my afternoon meal. I can not wait!

I acutally got up at 4:00AM again today. This makes one week straight! I can't even begin to explain how happy that makes me. If it feels this good to go a week, I can only guess how good it will feel to go a month - or more. Best of all my weight dropped another .2 lbs. that's exactly the amount I need to reach my goals. I'm doing something right!


the only problem I have now is that the more I work out the more obvious it becomes that I have a pinched nerve or something in my shoulder (between my shoulder blades). I seriously need a massage and/or some ciropractic care. I keep putting it off hoping that somehow it will take care of itself. Knowing me I'll continue to ignore it for a while longer, but there's a part of me that knows I shouldn't. *sigh* we'll see.

Other then that - everything is good. My energy levels are acceptable and I actually feel like my body is changing and becoming more firm daily. It will be interesting to see how my body reacts tomorrow after my 'higher-carb/calorie' day today.

That's it for now - keep fit