Thursday, November 10, 2011


Life got a little hectic there for a while. We spent all last week moving and most of this week settling into our new house. It was a lot of work, but the feeling a peace and contentment I get when I walk into our new space has made it all worth it. What's really interesting is my weight (which had inexplicitly shot up) dropped down shortly after the move. There could be some interesting reasons for that, one of them being hormonal, but I would like to think it's my body thanking me for making this move. We've been living in a tiny little cottage for a year and a half, and my son moved in with us and has been sleeping on my couch since June. I've been feeling overwhelmed and trapped in my own house, so this move is oh so much a big deal.

One other thing I've done differently is stay away from any alcohol.  I had realized that things got a little out of hand last month :D  We were our having dinner and/or drinks with friends almost two nights a week all of October - so I decided to give my body a 30 day 'break' and lay off the stuff for the month of November.  I think it was a good choice.

I also seemed to hit my groove with my workouts this week.  I haven't been to the gym but I have done two runs and hit the bike trainer once.  It's felt great each time which means I'm not doing too much for my energy, fitness levels.

Lastly, I've started reading a book The Four-Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace by Martha Beck.  It came in the midst of our move and I just got the time to start to dive in on Tuesday.  It's hard to describe as it's not a 'diet book'.  But it is like someone opened up my brain and sat and listened to all my thoughts about myself and dieting and then wrote them all down and explained them in a way I had never heard before.  If you're a cronic/professional dieter like me, you HAVE to check out this book.

As of this morning I was 231.3 - down 3.7 lbs since Oct 21... I'll take that!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Weekly Update

Well I saw progress this week, but it wasn't what I had hoped or expected. 1.6 lbs down though, I'll take that. Average weight for the week was 233.5 - I'll look for that to go down next week as that's actually the most important number in my mind. Excercise was... well, not up to par. A Weight workout on Friday, a bike ride on Saturday and a run on Wednesday. I can do more. Mentally I felt great - really kept my focus and felt like I was staying the course - this is A#1 the most important part of this.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I haven't got much to update you with.... I'm really just trying to get back into the habit of blogging. It was good for me when I was doing it regularly. Anyway, food is still on track, and last night I started on the first day to 5K program from Podrunner Intervals. It's not the first time I've started this program, but to my knowledge, I've never finished it. I've always managed to get distracted by some other program 1/2 way through. So, the goal this time is to finish it - no matter what. I did the first week's workout last night WEEK 1 20 minutes from 128 to 142 BPM BPM CHART: 5-minute warmup @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 95 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 95 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 95 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 3-minute cooldown @ 128 BPM (BPM is the music speed for each section). and it was reletively easy. I had no problem holding a sub 12 min/mile for the 60 second runs. Felt good, felt strong. My chest was a little tight after, it felt like my asthma was acting up, but that's normal for me when getting back into arobic workouts. The run, plus the cold air, plus my fall allergies were all adding to the overall 'bleh' effect. But I was proud of myself for running. got almost 1.75 miles done in the 28 minutes for a pace of 16:06. That'll get better over time (of course). Weight - well my body is being a little stubborn which is a little frustrating. I don't know if it's that my body is so sick of my yo-yoing that it's going to hold onto every pound, or if it's because I'm older and it's holding onto every pound, or if it's just timing (month wise) My cycle is always so strange that even though I've started tracking in software I still have no idea when to expect it - best guess is that it could be a combination of all of the above that's got me cussing at the scale every morning. But, if it's one thing I've learned over the years it's intellegent percistance. I can't let the number on the scale define me, and I can't let a small stall (even if it is in the first week) discourage me. If I stick with it, the loss will come! Oh-and one other thing to note. I've been 'shouting down' the feast beast a lot lately. He's really confused I can tell. For example, I see a Chevron, think about going inside (maybe for something to drink) and he immediatly says, "Yay! Treats!" Then starts flashing images of sweets that'll be inside, and reminding me of the taste of each one. Before he can even get ramped up though, I scream (in my head) SHUT UP! I almost want to laugh because that 'inner voice' the 'adictive voice' is so used to getting it's way with just that simple technique that it doesn't know what to do and it goes dead silent. I know over time he'll probably try to get more tricky, but for now this technique is working and I love it!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Self Discipline and Patience

"Discipline" is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody standing over you with a stick, telling you that you're wrong. But self-discipline is different. It's the skill of seeing through the hollow shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret. They have no power over you. It's all a show, a deception. Your urges scream and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten; but they really carry no stick at all. You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this lesson, though. The words on this page won't do it. But look within and watch the stuff coming up — restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain — just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away. As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.
— Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English" from Everyday Mind, edited by Jean Smith, a Tricycle book Mindfulness in Plain English: 20th Anniversary Edition

Made it!

I said I would be back, and here I am!

2011 has been a pretty good year for me.  Started a new job at the end of 2010 that got me another new job (and a raise).  I'm pretty happy where I am right now.  The low levels of stress are exactly what I need.

Hubby and I worked through a really awful money situation and now are up on our feet and feeling pretty solid.

My son moved in with me 'just for the summer' and now has decided he would like to stay rather then take out more student loans.  So, I'm getting to spend quality time with my kiddo (who I was estranged from for a number of years) as well as have an excuse to move into to a larger and very lovely home.

I'm involved in choir again - singing with a group is always fun!

I've met and gotten involved with some really awesome people who I now consider friends -- It's great to feel 'connected' with a group of people again, plus I've been staying in closer contact with 'old' friends and reconnecting with family members that's made me feel like a more well rounded person overall.

The only thing that hasn't gotten better this year has been my weight/health.  Maybe it's because I was so focused on getting the rest of my life in line.  But now I feel ready to focus on this.

My plan is about 25% diet, 25% exercise and at least 50% getting my 'mind' fixed.  I've been focusing a lot on cognitive therapy, Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy and other 'self help' type programs/books to get myself ready for action. And people, I AM ready for action.

Started working the plan on Friday, just like I said I would.  I even took a trip to the gym so I could do a leg workout.  I wasn't enjoying the workout much at first.  Seeing myself in mirrors on every side wasn't doing much for my mood but then I had a guy come up to me and compliment my 'short hair' (told me I Rocked it).  I stuck to my plan for the entire day/night and really felt good about it - woke up the next morning to a HUGE drop on the scale (that I think now was because I was dehydrated (duh).

Saturday - I stayed (pretty much) on plan as well.  Ate a big breakfast of eggs and bacon and then stuck to my meal replacement foods for the rest of the day.  I didn't eat anything at the bike festival we went to and even skipped eating at the restaurant that night because I had already had my meal.  However, I did have a beer at the festival and a Long Island Iced Tea at the restaurant.  Later, at karaoke I had several more drinks and then had some cookies at jack in the box at 2 in the morning on my way home.  Lesson learned is that I need a better strategy for going out.  Less booze and less 'slipping' after drinking.

Sunday I was up early and went to a Halloween festival with my daughter.  Had an excellent day, ate a huge salad when we stopped at the sandwich place and had grilled chicken when we stopped at Jack in the Box. Didn't drink anything and stuck 100% to my plan - whoop whoop!

Monday was good again - didn't get back to the gym as I had planned but I did stick 100% to my food plan.  Even avoided all the crap food they had laid out at choir.  there's always cake, cookies, chips and the like.  I just avoided going into the 'snack room' at all.  Was a good strategy for me.  Instead I sat and read through my 'reasons to lose weight' cards.

Today, I still don't have a solid workout plan in place.  My legs are only just now starting to recover from Friday's leg workout.  I want to get back into triathlons so I need to make time for running/biking/swimming (BTW - hubby and I biked to and from the festival on Saturday).  I also love to lift weights and really enjoy looking and feeling strong.  I just need to set myself a schedule for doing those things and stick to it.  I have more then enough access to gyms!

But to pull this back to the positive - food has been good - my head is in an excellent place right now.  This is a long term project, I know and every positive step is a good one.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

And then....

She started again.

Focus and determination is high. I have a plan of action. It's HUGE! :) starting on Friday because I have Friday and Monday off so I can get over the 'diet tired at home.

I'm going to update here with more details in the next day or so... Look for activity progress and more insight in the days to come.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

This is my goal - to be here, in this shape at the beginning of 2012. From there it'll be a run ride to reach the rest of my goals, but at the very least, I want to be here again!

Monday, August 22, 2011

10 Days on plan

((lost a post - trying to recreate it - bleh))

3.8 lbs lost! I'm happy with that!

Food has been going great, but I haven't hit the gym yet. The motivation is there. I love going to the gym and working out, but I can't seem to take that first step; actually getting off the couch and walking out the door! I'll keep working on it.

I've got some agressive weight loss goals setup for myself for the last half of this year, but I'm confident about hitting them. I'm keeping my head in the game and reading everything I can get my hands on about the mental side of kicking a food adiction. It's going to be an interesting end to 2011.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Ummm Yeah

I can't even begin to explain what's happened between my last post and now. Let's just say things haven't been good. New weight is 234.6 -- yeah, wrong direction.

Last night I took action by planning my means, and packing my lunch before bed. It worked out. I've eating healthy today and actually feel really good about it. 3/4ths of the way through the day and I feel successful.

Going to string a few positive days in a row - the plan is high protein with lots of veggies w/two 'free' meals a week. Free meals will be planned the day before.

Exercise - I'm going to start with hitting the gym and lifting weights in the morning again. I know that when I get in the habit of getting up early that it does get easier. (at least that's what I'm telling myself).

I don't know about cardio right now - when I get in this 'action' mode it makes me want to go all out, work out 7 days a week (or at least plan to) and just kill myself... So for that hasn't worked out so well. We'll see...

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Aaaaaand We're Off

So, as you might have guessed, I have a body bugg.  It's a lot of fun for a gadget geek like me. Even better, it's the SP version that displays stats on my iphone -- Love it!

BTW - my nike+ now works with my iphone too!

I started tracking my burn closely yesterday and really hitting the goal of 3000 - I got bloody close - 2916 (from midnight to midnight).  And my intake:  1960  Oh - and the 'official' starting weight 222.7 (down 3 pounds from yesterday)

The quality of the food has been so/so.  But, it's not really where I'm focusing right now.  I'm going for 'better' not perfect.  My goal is to get to 90% of what Brooke Castillio calls "Fuel Eating" (as apposed to "Joy Eating").  But, right now I think I'm closer to 60-70% and over the next few weeks I expect to get better.  I'm no longer trying to be perfect.

On the exercise front:  I did a killer leg workout yesterday morning, and strapped my bike on the trainer for 45 minutes last night.  Today, I did a chest workout this morning and then strapped on my trainers and did a 2 mile run tonight.  Of course my strength is down, and I'm only averaging 13.3 min/mile but I'm looking forward to all that getting better with time.

And now for something boring :D

100 days of weight loss day 1 - I used to be that way, but now I'm different!

I used to get overconfident after a while, stop tracking my eating closely and eventually fall off completely and gain weight back - now I realize that this is for life and I can't make my plan one of deprivation - it's got to be something that I can live with!

Monday, May 30, 2011

The Action Plan (cliff notes version)

Our real problem is not our strength today; it is rather the vital necessity of action today to ensure our strength tomorrow. ~Calvin Coolidge

Tomorrow I will:

Burn 3000 calories (according to my body bugg)
Eat 2000 calories (creating a 1000 calorie deficite)
Lift weight sin the morning
Ride my bike in the evening

-will detail more tomorrow

Sunday, May 29, 2011


I've discovered something interesting.

I miss this blog. I missed the history, the struggles, the successes.

I'm trying a new, kinder gentler, more 'brain focus' approach lately. A great deal of it involves journaling so I'm opening up this blog again to record my thoughts. We'll see how it goes.

Here's the first question:

To me having a fresh start means I don't forget where I come from, but I don't let it define me either.

Why is this journey important to me?

Because I feel like I'm at the edge of very big positive change in my life - at all levels. This scares and excites me at the same time. I want to take every opportunity to live my life to the fullest, and learn everything there is to learn from every experience.

What is my number one goal in the next 45 days during Phase I of the Make Today
Matter journey?

To complete it. I've starting so many things and didn't finish. I want to finish!