Thursday, September 18, 2003

I took a 20 minute walk at lunch to try and work through the stiffness in my legs and glutes. Then I started thinking. I realized that this attitude of mine has totally hamstrung me. Not just in my fitness goals, but in my whole life. I hate to fail. And rather then put my whole self into something I go half-a$$ed. Therefore, if things don't go as planned it's not like I really failed. After all I really didn't try. This has held me back in so many ways! In just a few weeks I'm taking a test that could completly change my career for the better. I've been dinking around for months now. Not putting everything into my studies, not using all the resources avaliable to me to make sure I'm completely prepared. And why? Maybe I'm lazy. or maybe, as I said before... if I take the test, and don't pass. It won't be a 'failure'. I think the same thing has happened with the business my fiance' and I have 'started'. I quote that word because we've done everything up to the part where it starts to get hard... we have a web site, we have our idea, we've done the research and gotten all the licences... but now that the time to advertise and talk to people about it has come, we've found every reason to put it off... Has our business failed? No because we haven't even TRIED! So, why do I relate all of this and what does it have to do with (after all what this site is about) my fitness journey? Well I do the same thing here... On previous journeys I've found myself slipping, and often I've done it because it was easier to slip, to not really TRY then to come to the end of some time period and find out I've 'failed'. So what makes this time different? First of all I've made a major mindset change. I finally figured out that the only way I can fail is if I quit. And yet I still see small signs of that 'slacker' in the things that I do. I see it what I was doing with my eating before. Not the under eating, but the lack of dicipline before that, eating hotdogs, and white bread etc. I see it today in my saying 'I can't do HIIT today'. Yes, it hurts... yes it will be hard, but I have to TRY. I have to give it my 100% effort. I have to take 'extraordinary action'.

No comments: