Friday, January 16, 2004

I'm green for yesterday. But frustrated. I know, I probably shouldn't be but I am! I'm at 180 this morning, and while in the shower I practically had a panick attack. I realized that I've been within 5 lbs (both over and under) 180 since October 23rd! This is obvously a 'set point' for my body as I maintained this weight for about three years before my apendex surgery without dieting or maintaining any serious excercise routine. So, I had this moment of panick - what If I can't get below this? I know that was unreasonable and irrational but it really struck me. You see, I feel a little like an analigy in a book I was looking over yesterday (Get Rich Slow - thanks Jeremy) I feel like a fly, who keeps throwing itself against the window trying to get outside, and just yards away there's an open door! Believe me... I keep looking for that door, but instead I keep finding another window to beat myself against! BUT - in truth I don't think I can REALLY say that I've hit the window until I've committed 100%. Maybe I haven't been strict enough in my diet. I know I havn't been 100% consitent in my workout. Perhaps to break through I'm going to have to be a LOT more consitent then I had to be to actually get to this point. I don't know. The thing is, I feel like I really need to NAIL a program before I say it isn't working. I'm not sure I've really NAILED the BFL program in the past two weeks. I think what's frustrating is I didn't HAVE to NAIL the program before now to still see results. So here's to even GREENER days my friends!

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