Wednesday, March 07, 2012

It's been an interesting journey already! :)  This morning, I got a good look at how different a place my head is in right now.  

I got up at five to take the dog for a walk.  I'm the designated 'morning dog walker' in the house since I seem to be able to get ready faster then anyone else.  (Go figure, right?  I think it's because I'm not a morning person and have spent my whole life trying to figure out how to squeeze out an extra 5, 10, 30 minutes of sleep - that or being the big sister/mom my whole life meant I was always getting other people ready and had to learn to put myself together as quickly as possible - or both.  ANYWAY...)  I decided Sunday night that since I was going out to walk the dog anyway, and he's used to coming with me on my runs at night, I might as well try doing my runs in the morning.  It would mean getting up a bit earlier, but give me some additional time in my evenings to relax.  So, we did that on Monday and it worked out OK.  Today was a 'run' day again so I took him out again but it was just 'One of Those Mornings (tm)'  We need to leave the house at 6:00 to have time to hit the gym, and Doughnut (the dog) and I didn't get back until 6:10!  Then it seemed to take forever to get my husband out the door and when we finally got out to the car at 6:20 and started to drive off I realized that I promised to loan my son $60 so he could get the breaks done on his car today and that mean a run to the bank and a run back to the house and... Yeah, at that point we decided hitting the gym was out of the question and may as well just stay home and shower.  And you know what?  I was MAD!  I was hot under the collar, crank pants, I wanna stomp my feet and whine all the way into the house, up the stairs into the shower, pouty MAD.  Because I was going to miss going to the gym and doing my weight training.

Seriously!  Who is this person?  I mean, I used to look for any and every excuse to skip a workout.  But right now, all I can picture is 2006, when I was the fittest of my life.  I'm so focused that every meal be a step toward that girl.  That every day has to be used to it's best advantage and I lost a little time today.  That feeling, that concept is so foreign to me!  I'm the, "Oh I'll do it tomorrow" girl.  I'm the, "I'll make up for it later" lady.  I'm the poster child for "Next time".  Or should I say, I WAS.  No more.  I like this focus, this drive, this feeling of, "Now now now".  

And, speaking of now, now, now... MF emailed me that my food is in the mail.  Can it be here now please?

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