Tuesday, April 28, 2009

So What's Next?

I've been battling with headaches (sinus) for the past two days. Stayed home from work today to try to sleep some of it off. I've cleaned out my closet, getting rid of some clothes that are just getting plain ratty and packing away others that are too small. I went through my 'closet of shame' and sorted everything by size so that I can easly transition into the next size when I reach it. I have everything from size 18W (that I wear now) to size 10 (that I wore when I was at my lightest a few years ago.

So now what do I do? It feels weird to me to not be battling through every day, but just sitting here waiting for the weight loss to happen. I almost miss all the planning and charting and agonizing - Ok - I'm not. But there's still a part of me that feels weird not doing it.

I think that what's bothering me is normally after the first week or two the initial excitement of a new diet wears off, the motivation lowers and I start to struggle. But here I am, mid week four and although that rush of "I'm on a new diet!" - the 'honeymoon stage' is over and yet here I am, still rolling along. It's strange that I feel a little 'lost' without a battle to wage. Did my weight and obsession with controlling it really take that much of my mental energy and focus, even when I wasn't dieting? If so, what can I do with all this 'extra' I have now? I feel a little lost right now. It's not an all together 'bad' feeling - it's just -- odd. Has anyone else felt like this? Like, since food is no longer the center of my life, the center of my focus, the center of my unhappiness--what's next for me?

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