I don't know what happens to my energy levels. I really do need to get in to the lab and get my blood work done. Yesterday I was feeling grand, looking forward to going to the gym, and then, by the time I got home I was exhausted and it was only 5:30! Needless to say I didn't make it to they gym. I used the excuse that it would have been awkward with my fiance's car in the shop, but I could have made it work if I had really wanted to. It reminds me a little of the bible verse that says something like... I know the things that I must do, and yet I do not do them... it certainly applies here. I just another of those 'educated' fat chicks. I know what I need to do. I know the things that will make the changes in my body, and yet... somehow I always manage not to do them. It's really nothing more then lazyness. Well, lazyness and a love for food... *sigh* BUT, today's a new day. A day when I can do the things I must do. I'm three weeks into this challenge with nothing to show for it, but a gym membership and a cupboard full of vitamins. But, on the other hand, there are over 8 weeks left in this challenge. Still time to make some major changes for the better, do be one step closer to the lifestyle that "I" want.

I just had an idea. You see, although I know that I am at an unhealthy weight I really don't think I look that bad. I never had issues with the opposite sex, and my fiance makes it very clear that he loves me the way I am. In fact he worries that my goals might be too stringent and that I might get too skinny. My Dr, though has made it clear she wants me to loose weight, as she's worried that it may begin to effect my health. It was she who suggested I alter my eating habits toward a lower carb lifestyle. I did that and have lost SOME weight, but as always I've stalled around the 185 mark. But, I think one of the reasons I've stalled is that I'm trying to reach other peoples goals. Loosing weight because my Dr, or society tells me I need to. Intellegently I know that my health will suffer unless I make some changes, but that doesn't seem to matter when I come home tired after a day of work, or when someone announces that there are paistries in the break room. Still, there are some things that I want to change. I'm tired of being tired. I hate that I wake up exhaused. I know that healthier eating, and exercise is supposed to change that. So, I need to come up with goals for ME... yes, reaching 130 is a goal for me, but it's not priority... it's not enough to make me change... But perhaps some other things will.

My wish list

1 - To have more energy
2 - Run a Marathon
3 - Wear size 8
4 -

I think I'll continue to add to this list and perhaps ever post it up somewhere. There has got to be something out there that will motivate me!!