Just a quick update.

I'm sick *sniiiifff*

You know the kind of sick where you sinuses are so swollen that your teeth hurt? That's me right now. I'm sure I'll be over it soon enough, but in the meanwhile I'm going to curl up in bed and sleep.

In other news the kids and I sat down and talked on Saturday (at my Grandparent's 60's wedding anniversary party) I think we've come up with a comprimise that lets them not dissapoint thier Dad and keeps me from being too dissapointed either. They are planning to come over next friday and baically stay the entire winter breadk (with the exception of Christmas eve).

I think I can handle that. My oldest still has to dog sit but she's going to pay her dad to feed/walk the dog on Christmas day for her, so she'll be able to spend part of the day over here with me.

So the spirit of Christmas lives on.

Thanks to eveyrone for your love and support in this.

-Shawn

This is normally something I would write about on my ‘other blog’ but since you all read hear and I don’t want to force you to click over to read it there… I post it here.

So, for the record here is… How I lost my Christmas Spirit.

For those of you who don’t already know my life story let me give you a little background.

I grew up with a ‘working’ mother. So early in my life she set a precedent. She was NOT going to spend her Christmas Day slaving in the kitchen cooking a huge dinner. One day a year was enough for her.

Fast forward a few years – I’m married. I find my mother’s ‘rule’ to be a good ‘rule of thumb’. No big dinner at Christmas. Richard (the ex-not his real name) had no problem with this so we went happily on our way.

Fast forward a few more years – my daughter is old enough to know some stuff about Christmas and it’s Christmas eve. Knowing that it was going to be really hard to get her to go to sleep I devise a plan. Step one – go out to eat for a ‘big’ ‘special’ Christmas dinner. Since we were young, poor and didn’t know any better that ended up being Red Lobster. Step two – drive around looking at Christmas lights until the little one fell asleep then go home, carry her to bed and start getting ready for Santa to come. That became our family tradition.

Fast forward many more years. Richard and I have divorced we’ve had a really UGLY custody battle. When the dust has settled we’ve got an arraignment where we’re supposed to trade holidays. Only my kids now suffer from Parental Alienation Syndrome (look it up, it sucks). So rather then force the issue I let them ‘cool’ off. Visits are sporadic and visits during the holidays, out of the question.

Fat forward to now:

Over the past few years the kids have slowly gotten over the PAS and they are on a pretty normal visitation schedule. Only, the holidays are still an issue.

Every year at Thanksgiving, Richard manages to have some relative visiting him. On Christmas – when every other year I’m supposed to have the children for Christmas Eve and be able to put them to bed, then wake them up and watch them open presents in the morning… we run into ‘The tradition’.

Sorry mom, we can’t come see you because we have to go to Red Lobster with Dad. It’s a tradition. First of all, it was MY FUCKING TRADITION! :P Secondly, do you think Richard would have the balls to say, “Hey, enough you need to go with your Mom and start some new traditions”? Well if you’ve learned anything about my ex by now you know the answer is.. No.

This year is no exception. Richard’s mother was visiting at Thanksgiving so the kids stayed there for dinner. As an incentive to get them to come over Christmas Eve I offered to break my ‘rule’ and cook a full on T-day dinner with ALL the fixings. But no… We can’t do that. So for the fifth year in a row I don’t get to see my children on Christmas morning.

Worse, my oldest has told me that she’s taken a job over the winter break and thus – I may not even get to see her Christmas day.

So, I’m sorry folks – I have run out of Christmas cheer. Which really sucks because it IS my FAVORITE holiday.

This year, I’m afraid I’m going to have to say Bah Humbug

 



Just thought I would share - captured this on my way to work yesterday 

I know, I know, it’s late for me to be updating but it’s been a busy day.

Let’s see… Yesterday was ‘dance night’ after work so I put on my dancing shoes and went out to boogie. Unfortunately my legs were KILLING me from doing legs earlier, but I didn’t let it put too much a damper on my night. Again I spent hours ‘goovin’ and it was awesome.

I’m a little unsure how the day’s calories came out because we ended up going for Chinese food after dancing and it was difficult to tell portion sizes but I did the best I could. Approximated totals: 2400 Calories 34% Fat/ 33% Carbs / 31% Protein. I was AMAZED at how quickly the Chinese food added up :P

In looking at the past few days I’ve realized that perhaps my ‘lack of progress’ isn’t as surprising as I thought. I’m getting a goodly amount of calories each day and several days now that I THOUGHT were close to 2000 are coming out over that. This is good to know and on several levels… reassuring. That means that with the slightest amount of tweaking I should be seeing some changes. All I can say that is, it’s about bloody time! :)

So, on to today. I hadn’t really planned on hitting the gym today – I did my cardio last night. Still it was a little frustrating to wake up, look over at the clock and realize you had a ‘twelve o’clock flasher’ on you hands. Yeah the power had gone out. I ‘overslept’ (which means it was 6:00 – what a sick, sick world I now live in that 6:00AM is oversleeping). But, as I said, I wasn’t planning on going to the gym anyway.

Food is going good today. Shooting for 2000-2300.

This last bit – you don’t have to read it’s simply for my records.

The “Bitch” arrived today.

I don’t note it because I think anyone would be interested but because when I stopped noting it I had nothing to reference the next month to figure out when I should be expecting TTOM. So I spent all this week going… Should it have come last week and I’m late, or maybe next week? Gah!

Oh – and lastly, it’s official, I have NO Christmas spirit this year. So Bah Humbug!

I found another shirt I want...

While I don't qualify to wear this one just yet, I can't WAIT 'til I do..


Dontcha?

And now for my report.

I knew getting all my food in yesterday would NOT be a problem. I was not wrong. I was STARVING. So, total calories 2182 25%Fat/43%Carb/29%Protien

The ratios aren’t perfect but I feel like just tracking has been a big step for me so I’m happy with them.

Even with the additional food I had trouble getting up this morning – but I managed :) There was no way I was going to miss two days in a row.

It was leg and arm day (according to my trainer) so I hit the gym raring to go.

After warming up with a few ‘light’ squats I got started.

Squats (plus bar): 90 x 10 / 140 x 10 / 140 x 10

Then it was off to the leg press machine. BTW does anyone know what the ‘sled’ weighs on this thing? Anyway I added a little extra weight this time – it felt so good.

Leg Press: 540 x 10 / 540 x 10 / 540 x 10

My goal on this is to do 700…

Then I did a little arms:

Alt Dumbbell Curl: 25 x 10 / 25 x 10
Triceps Cable Push Downs: 100 x 10 / 100 x 10

And that was that.

After these two weeks ‘off’ I’m really ready to start hitting the weight everyday again – though I think I’m going to keep the reps in the 8 to 10 range for at least four weeks. I know I probably need to choose a few ‘different’ exercises so that’s my goal to accomplish before next Monday.

And, of course, I’m going to continue to keep a close eye on the food. Goal for today is 2000 – 2200.

Other then that, nothing much to report. I’m still trying to focus on doing the right thing each day. Daily goals are still about all I can handle.

Thanks to everyone for your support and suggestions. My head is up, my eyes are forward if I keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually I’ll reach my destination.

Oh, and Jess – thank you thank you thank you for suggesting “FireFox” I installed it yesterday and started loading blogs using it - Most blogs, when loaded into firefox have a special orange icon on the far right of the address. When you click that it saves the link as a “live link” it makes it a snap to see when someone’s blog has been updated! Since I’ve currently got about 145 blogs booked marked being able to quickly see which have been updated is going to save me HOURS!

I’m a happy camper!

A few quotes


"Man has never made any material as resilient as the human
spirit."

*Bernard Williams {English Philosopher}


"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a
fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting
somewhere behind the morning."

*J.B. Priestly (1894-1984) English Author

The first question of the day should be, Did I reach my goals yesterday?

Well….. I didn’t over eat :P

Totals: 1500 Calories 42% Protien/35%Carb/18%Fat

Considering my BMR has been measured at almost 1800 that’s kind of scary. Maybe it’s the effect of the alcohol I had over the weekend. It’s been purported to suppress your metabolism.

I’ve plenty of food packed so should have no problem with food today – I’m going to track it anyway.

Perhaps the low calories are why I did NOT want to get up today. The alarm went off at 4:00 and somehow I managed to turn it off. I finally got out of bed at 4:20 but without the extra boost of my fiancé (he wouldn’t get out of bed) I ended up falling back asleep. I was STILL tired when I got up at 5:15, ended up sleeping in the car on the way to the ferry and the sleeping on the ferry. So I missed the gym. I’m trying not to get wrapped up in the fact that I missed. I can either make it up tonight or on Saturday.

Despite the fact that I said I wouldn’t I started doing some long term
‘dreaming’ yesterday. My mind wandered down some well worn paths. “If I lose XX by the first of the year, then in twelve weeks I could been down too… etc etc

But here’s the weird part. When I started getting down to certain numbers I found myself feeling kind of, frightened. I’m talking big numbers, numbers like 150lbs. I don’t know if I was scared to think about reaching that number because I haven’t quite convince myself that I can do it or what. I suspect that’s a big part of it. It’s really kind of funny that I can think about 130 being my ‘ultimate goal’ and it doesn’t phase me. Maybe because that’s been my goal for so long that I’ve gotten used to it. It’s almost a it’s just number I say because I need a goal. Why not that one? It seems unreal and thus I don’t think I would be truly disappointed if I didn’t reach it. But these other numbers… 165? I remember 165 and when I start thinking about the fact that in the near future I could actually get to 165 then that other, less brave part of my mind starts throwing off all these, panic signals. She starts saying mean nasty things like, “Don’t set your heart on that number, you’ll never get there, certainly not on THAT date.” The horrible thing is that I do fail myself over and over again and I just give that little voice more fuel for her fire.

I don’t know if I have a ‘cure’ for these feelings. Maybe one day I will, but I know I need to acknowledge them, evaluate them and deal with them. I'm doing that now.

Alrighty then. Goals for this day – these I know I CAN achieve. Another step in the journey, another rung in the latter.

Since I didn’t hit the gym today I’m going to go for calories between 1900 and 2000. again somewhere near 30/30/30
Lastly I wanted to say thank you to everyone who complimented the photos. I was really happy with the way the whole ‘look’ came off.

It really was weird to have a ‘hang over’. I’ve never ever had one before and believe me I’ve done some HEAVY drinking in my time. Guess wine doesn’t agree with me.

And Tania – yes I plan to join the Ms. Fit's Meltdown challenge on Jan 2nd. Maybe by then I’ll have enough ‘One day at a time’s under my belt I’ll feel ready to set some longer term goals.

Take care everyone and have a great day!

Well as you can see – the party went well and the dress went over with a bang :)

Ok course no picture of it came out as good as the one I had in my head, but I’m almost used to that happening at this point in my life.

I would like to point out in photo 1 in the post below that I think you can see my shoulder cap peeking out. It’s little glimpse like that that keep me going!

Saturday I spent the entire day getting ready for my party. Sunday, I spent the entire day recovering from my party. I’ve drank a lot throughout my lifetime, but I have NEVER had a hangover before. Sunday was my first! The only thing I can think to blame it on is the GALLONS of red wine I drank. It was the first time ever I had drunken more then 1 glass of red wine at a time. Believe me, it’s something I intend to avoid in the future. I’ll stick with my Long Island Ice Teas thank you very much.

In fact my tummy still feels ‘not so hot’ today. BUT I still got up at 4:00 this morning. We had another session with out trainer. It was a lot better then last Monday. Again it was ‘upper body’ day – chest, back and shoulders.

After our normal warm-up (crunches, hopping and step ups) we hit the weights. I was thrilled when he skipped the cable machine and said, “Let’s do bench press”. To make things a bit more difficult he put as swill ball at the end of the bench and made us put our feet up on it while we pressed. It was interesting to say the least.

Press (plus bar): 30 x 15 / 40 x 15 / 40 x 15

This we supper setted with

Seated rows: 75 x 15 / 80 x 15 / 75 x 15

The seated rows were REALLY slow, 5 count up and 5 count back. It was such a challenge!

Then we did shoulders two different ways, both using the cable machine.

Sanding on a rubber balance thing and then laying with hips on a swiss ball and legs wedged again the machine so the body was at a 45 degree angle.

We did 15 reps and 2 sets each (don’t know the weight because the trainer set it – I just knew it was HARD!) :)

And that was it.

Now – time to talk turkey here.

I’ve been looking over my blog for the past few months. All the times I’ve posted over and over again that THIS was it. THIS was the month/week/day that was going to be the start of something big. Then I go back to doing the same ol’ things in the same ol’ way and a month later I’m stuck in the same ol’ body.

So, how do I break this pattern? How do I say “This time it’s different” and mean it? I’m so sick of treading water.

I know that it’s the nutrition that’s killing me. The sick thing is that I have all the information I need to make work for me. But sometimes know and doing are leagues apart from each other.

So, today I’m not going to say that it’s the first day of the rest of my life. I’m not going to promise big changes in a month, or three months, or a year. What I AM going to do is make today a good day. What does that mean? It means actually KNOWING if I’ve had a good day or not. Not ‘guessing’. It means honoring my promise to myself TODAY. Tomorrow’s going to have to take care of itself.

So, my goal for today is to hit 2000 – 2300 calories near to 30/30/30 ratio.

Good or bad I’ll post my results tomorrow – I’ll expect you all to hold me to it.

In case you were wondering...

we did have a good time on Saturday. I got all dressed up.



Ta-da! (no - that's not my fiance)



Yeah - we had fun!


Ok - maybe too much fun? (no that's not my fiance either)



Honey - I think it's time to go home

Awwwww, I don't want to!

For all you girls out there...

Check out these "T's"

TOM

I just found an AWSOME post on Meg's Blog

While she's working toward maintaining a FANTASTIC weight loss, so much of what she says applies to those of us still trying to START our journey - and even those of us who are in the middle some where....

Actually - let me send you a bit further back into her blog... Start with
Baby steps vs. the ultimate goal

How many of us can relate to

..."The thing is, by using all these things as part of the weight loss/maintenance thing, I tied them all together in my head, and that leaves me very vulnerable to the domino effect-- screw up one thing, and everything else gets wiggy-- "

Then she made THIS statement which REALLY struck a cord with me..

..."Really, the crux of the matter is what it is for so much of the rest of my life: I need to figure out how to motivate myself without using fear or shame or self-hate as a goad."

when she was sick sick sick

Then there was today's entry when she said I think I'm putting this together.

..."If I am encouraged and praised on something, it makes me want to try it again. If I enjoy something, it makes me want to try it again. What I need, in short, is to use the encouraging teacher/parent voice on myself. The voice that teases out the fun in things and makes drudgery into a game. The voice that encourages-- "Look how far you've come! Wow, you did that all by yourself! Good for you!"-- and praises-- "Wow, you're so good at this! You're really strong! You're really talented!" The voice that, when it turns out that I've made a mistake, praises me for catching the mistake and praises me for fixing it."

If you have a few minutes, go read and be encoraged ;)

I woke up this morning and all my aches and pains from yesterday were gone. I thought for sure my knees would still be complaining because they hurt even after taking advil yesterday! But I’m pain free today – yay! I didn’t get up until 4:15 but I had extra time today because I was driving in and not taking the ferry. But I was so tired! I zombied around getting ready and then shuffled out to the car. It certainly wasn’t a good day for me to be driving because I kept trying to nod off on the drive to the gym! Once there I thought my energy level would pick up the way it always does. I loaded my stuff in my locker and went out to warm up. I had NOTHING. On the recumbent bike I couldn’t seem to get the RPM’s over 60. When that torture was over it was time to ‘lift’. Our trainer had told us to do a full body workout, but didn’t really give us any other instructions other then where our ‘folder’ was. One look at the ‘folder’ and we both said ‘no way!’ It just was too convoluted. But then we were left with no plan. By this time I was getting an attitude. I was tired to the point of exhaustion, I didn’t have a plan and I was CRANKY. This left me going – Whatever. This really frustrates my fiancé 1 - because he counts on ME to keep him motivated on the gym floor (something that’s normally not a problem) and 2 – because he was starting to worry about my current state of lethargy.

We decided to do our own version of a full body workout and started with the bench press. After warming up I could instantly tell that I just didn’t have it in me. I compromised and instead of doing 80 lbs I did 70lbs. And it was HARD. Then, when I got ready to do the third set I discovered that I couldn't lift it! We knocked off 20 lbs and I STILL couldn’t do it! I got so upset I just walked away.

Bench Press (Plus Bar): (70lbs x 6) x 2

My fiancé was really starting to get concerned and started asking if maybe we should just leave. I told him no, I would at least do what I could. We parted ways and I wandered over to the seated rows.

seated rows: (65 x 12) x 2

I was starting to feel a little better though not 100% so I kept going…

Dumbbell Press: (25 (each) x 12) x 2
Lat Pull down: (90 x 12) x 2

By now I was almost starting to feel like myself. I could actually THINK about doing legs without feeling sick to my stomach so I went over to the squat rack. I warmed up on this one with the bar and then did a few sets. I started light because of how icky I had been feeling but quickly got my confidence back

Squat (plus bar): 50 x 10 / 90 x 10

then I started to REALLY rock the house.

Leg Press: 450 x 10 / 500 x 10
Straight Leg Dead lift: 90 x 10 / 90 x 10

and lastly I finished with shoulders

Dumbbell Shoulder Press: 25 x 10 / 25 x 10

I really do feel as if I got a good workout. I have no idea why it was so HARD in the beginning. I think part of it was mental. I didn’t like not knowing what I was going to do before I got there. I’m used to my workout being written down, including the weight I’m going to start at before I even start. Wandering around in ‘limbo’ was not motivating to me.

I’ll have to remember that.

I’m feeling ok now. Not exhausted like I was. I do have to wonder if “the Bitch” is on her way because of this blast of lethargy and the constant hunger I’ve been feeling. I was trying to remember when she was last here and can’t (I’m bad like that). So it could be that – or it could be I’m fighting something, or … I could just be tired! lol

Food yesterday continued to be ‘ok’. Not perfect but not as bad as it could have been. Today, I’m still really hungry but not craving ‘bad’ stuff so it should be good.

Saturday is my company party so tomorrow’s my free day. I’m planning on a run on Sunday and if the weather stays as nice as it’s supposed to be. (60 degrees and sunny) I may just try taking a little run outdoors. Maybe get my 15 year old son to tag along.

Have a great weekend everyone!

I read something today that made me think…

So many times I’ve read about that defining moment. That day that someone looked in the mirror and said. “I don’t want to be that person any more”. Today I saw another one at Moe’s Site and that’s what started me thinking.

You see, I’ve never had that “ah ha” moment. Not really. I was a skinny little thing (maybe 10 or ll) and saw a picture of myself in a bikini. I was bent at the waist and the skin there had ‘rolled’. Imagine the skin of a Sharpe puppy. My first thought. “I’m fat!” It wasn’t until High School that I started to diet though. I was 5’5” and 120 (ish) pounds. Today when I look back I have no idea why I felt so fat. Maybe it was the fact that I wore a size bigger pants then my mom (who is 5’1”) or that I constantly wore big baggy shirts because I was embarrassed of my DD sized boobs. Whatever the reason I stared dieting. You know, the way you were supposed to back then, eating bullion, saltines and salads and making sure to keep your calories between 700 and 900 calories. I never succeeded on any of those diets of course and by the time I graduated I had the beginning of a ‘real’ weight problem as I was now 165lbs. Eight months later I had my first child and I have never been lower then 175 since then. And never at 175 for more then a week. My highest weight (other then pregnancy) was between 230 and 250… Yeah, I fight my weight – I fight to eat right – I fight to exercise. But can I point out a time and say “There, that’s when I decided to change my life.” No.

That being said It makes me wonder. Would this whole thing be any easier if I had had an ‘ah ha’ moment? Would it be easier to pass on the cookies if I had this crystal clear vision of where I didn’t want to be? Goal setters say it doesn’t work that way. That you can’t run away from a vision only toward one because by focusing on what you Don’t want you only force yourself to move in that direction. But still I wonder. People who can point to ‘that moment’ seem to be the successful ones. Whereas me? Well my ‘baby’ is 18 years old. Isn’t that too long to be ‘trying’ to do something?

I’ve discovered a new way to lose weight.

It’s called a night club!

One of my friends from work invited me out last night and I accepted. I had almost forgotten what it was like to dance until you feel your feet are going to fall off! We got there about 6:30PM. We almost immediately started dancing (The DJ’s were awesome – playing this awesome funky techno/tribal music that you couldn’t HELP but dance to). I ended up leaving at 9:00 and I swear I sat down for a total of 3 minutes the entire time. I was DRENCHED with sweat and was just BUZZING with energy. Sure I love getting a runner’s high and all, but I would never be able to run for 2.5 hours and I’ve never felt as good as I did leaving the club last night.

To top it all off, once I got home, my fiancé displayed an interest in a little, uh, box springs HIIT. Whoo hoo!

So to sum it all up: Eating was good and I completed three workouts in one day.

Best of all the fiancé has agreed to come with me next Wednesday night so we can do it again.


When I woke up this morning I ached from head to toe! LOL My feet, ankles, calves, knees, calves, hips, and lower back all hurt from dancing. And my shoulders and arms hurt from yesterday’s weight workout. WHEW! It feels GREAT.

I’ve no doubt I did enough cardio last night to justify skipping my run today. Foods been.. so/so this morning. Mostly because I feel like I’m STARVING. I gave into the urge to have a scrambled egg and cheese bagel for meal two. I’ll go for something a little leaner for my next meal and make up for it. Good news is, I didn’t give into raiding the candy jar at the front desk.

I’m going to go home and go to bed early tonight so we can get up and hit the gym in the morning.

Have a great day everyone – and if you get the chance – take a little time and kick up your heals today!

This morning at the end of our session our trainer asked if he could reschedule our appointment from Wednesday to Tuesday because Wednesday he was going to be doing something. He went on to explain that he was going to be filming a reality show where he was going to be training four people (three women and one man) for 12 weeks.

I didn't think that much about it. In case you didn't know, we arn't TV people. We haven't had/watched Broadcast TV in about four years. So the Fiance and I say "Oh, Ok, no problem" and go blissfully on our way.

Then this morning while cruzing blogs etc I start reading about the Biggest Loser. Then on Renee's Blog I read "- I doubt* I'll watch the local losers show, where they pit smaller groups of people working w/their own trainers against each other."

Suddenly a little bell went *ding* in my head - could THIS have been what my trainer was talking about. He's going to be on Local Losers?

Does ANYONE know more about this show? I want the DISH!

I’ll start with a dress update.

I did a bunch of ‘online’ shopping. There was probably a few I could have gone with, but it would have had to be a ‘rush’ order to get here in time and the very likely chance that it wouldn’t fit when it got here and I would be – up the creek – as they say. I had already been to Macy’s and knew I wasn’t going to find anything there. So at lunch I made a stop at Nordstrom’s – tried on a size 16 in the Misses section and had the same problem with my dress at home. Fit everywhere but in the boobs. So I went up to the ‘Woman’s’ department. Unfortunately, Nordstrom’s is one of those stores that believes if you’re wearing ‘woman’s’ sizes you must be 60+ years old. ICK! I did try on one dress there but it was a purple ruffled disaster.

Then I went to the Jessica McClintock store. I think they must ‘right size’ their clothes because I couldn’t even fit into an 18 there! EEP!

As an afterthought I stopped at Ross. Good ol’ Ross with their vanity sizing. There’s no doubt that I fit into a 16 there. It was nice to back in the comfortable land of cheep ass clothing ;) Unfortunately, their selection was bad – and I get so frustrated while I’m there finding dresses I like in my section on the rack, but when I check the tag their a freaking size 6! I actually said, out loud, “Someone’s really got a sick mind to put a size six in with the size 16’s” I made a lady nearby laugh. However, mixed in with the size 10’s a found a pretty ‘little black dress’ with a little ‘funk’ mixed in. and hanging from the tag… size 16. I tried it on… zip it up (all the way up) and went TADA! It fit, it looked pretty ‘kickin’ And it only cost $22. If I have time I may end up going to Torrid and Dress Barn for Women and seeing if they have anything a little fancier but if they don’t, I’m happy with what I found. AND it only cost $22 (I love a bargain)

One thing about shopping (more fitness related). I had eaten at turkey sandwich at 11:30 yesterday morning. I ended up leaving to go shopping at 2:00. I didn’t think much about it until I actually got out there and started walking around. Then it hit me, I was STARVING! I knew I didn’t have time to stop so I just kept shopping. About 4:00PM when I finally was headed back to the office I noticed I was SHAKING as I walked up the stairs. BLEH. (Note to self, put protein bar in purse). By the time I hit the office kitchen I wasn’t interested in anything that actually needed to be heated up, so I mixed up a quick Protein shake and downed it. MUCH better. The rest of the food for the day ended up going just as well. I’m really happy about that.

This morning, I RIPPED myself out of bed at 4:00AM. I was achy sore and had a headache. ICK. It took me longer then usual to wake up. In truth knowing I couldn’t let my fiancé down was probably the only thing that got me to the gym this morning. I’m so lucky to have him.

We had another session with the trainer. We started with a warmup and some core work again (step ups, crunches and ‘hopscotch’) then did legs and arms. This time it was much better. We started with squats and I was really happy to discover that my form was nearly perfect. I need to lean back a little more but other then that… My fiancé however, can’t even DO a squat. Yeah he do something that might LOOK like a squat but when he’s forced to use proper form, he can’t do it at ALL. I’ve always thought he had poor posture and suspected a rather weak core but MAN! He ended up having to do squats using the Swiss ball pushed against the wall.

When I did leg extensions the trainer did something interesting. He actually put his foot on the pad and pushed against it while lifted. I have to tell you that was the most fun I’ve ever had doing leg extensions… pushing against his resistance made if feel like I was kind of competing against him. I loved it.

After a few rounds of that we went over to the hack squat machine 15 reps at 90 lbs and 5 more with no weight. After the leg extensions and then this, my legs were feeling rather toasted. I LOVE wobbly legs :)

We then did tris and bis – pretty easy stuff. My Bis were still sore from Mondays chest workout (dunno what’s up with that) but I managed all the reps and again with great form. After our workout out I told my fiancé that the trainer liked him better. He’s always giving him tons of encouragement etc. Fiancé said “It’s because I’m more of a ‘project’ then you are” I had to laugh because I think he’s right. We’ll see him two more times next week then our free sessions run out. After that – I really don’t think I’ll continue. My fiancé, however, could maybe use the help. We’ll see.

So – food in on track today – I packed my lunches again and I’m ready to have another ‘successful’ day.

Happy Hump Day!

Thanksgiving Leftovers Anyone?

*****************************
Turkey and Vegetable Pasta
*****************************
4 cups cooked medium-size pasta (rotini, rigatoni, etc.)
2 cups broccoli florets
2 carrots, sliced
1 tablespoon reduced fat margarine
1 large onion, diced
2 cloves minced garlic
2 celery stalks, diced
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 (14.5 ounce) can reduced sodium, reduced fat chicken broth
1 teaspoon ground sage
2 cups cooked turkey breast, diced

Prepare pasta according to package directions. Add broccoli and
carrots to water during the last 3 minutes and cook until pasta
is al dente and vegetables are tender. Drain and set aside.

Melt margarine in large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add
onion, garlic and celery and saute for 3 minutes. Stir in the
flour. Add the chicken broth and sage and mix until flour
dissolves. Add turkey and continue to simmer until heated
through. Combine the turkey mixture with pasta and vegetables.

Makes 6 Servings
Serving Size: 16 ounces

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Nutrients per serving:
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Calories: 259
Total fat: 5 grams (17% of calories)
Saturated fat: 1 gram
Cholesterol: 30 mg
Sodium: 460 mg
Carbohydrate: 36 grams (55% of calories)
Protein: 18 grams (27% of calories)
Dietary fiber: 3 grams

A few days ago I was thrilled to find out that the girls at work had decided to go 'formal' to the company Christmas Party. It meant I was finally going to get another use out of the BEAUTIFUL Christmas formal hanging in the back of my closet. Last night I pulled it out to assess what needed to be done to it for it to be wearable. It still looked great – a little steam ironing and it would be ready to go. In happy anticipation I slid out of my PJ top and pulled the dress over my head. It still fell as beautifully as ever over my hips artfully camouflaging my ‘bulk’ with tulle. I started zipping and then… Stopped. About 1.5 inches from the top of the zipper, there was no going any higher. My ‘lats’ (ok back fat) and bust line were not going to let it happen. I wanted to cry. Heck I STILL want to cry. Actually I want to cuss and throw things! I Swear to you, right here and now, that dress will NOT fit next year either – it will be too big! Arrrrrrrrrrrg!

So now I have to go dress shopping. An endeavor sure to have me at wits end within the first five minutes. Please – be thinking of me :P

Yesterday was ‘OK’. I did alright on food but could have made better choices a few times. Then we got home. Yesterday in my evaluation of the pitfalls that lay before me I forgot one thing. Sitting so innocently on my kitchen counter was a freshly baked Danish Pastry. Somehow my fiancé and justified eating THE ENTIRE THING by saying – hey we’ll finish it so that it won’t temp us the rest of the week. Yeah. Too bad I tried on the dress AFTER.

The good news is I made myself get out of bed this morning and hit the gym. Seriously MADE myself. I hit the snooze button twice. The fiancé didn’t even stir either time. I could have turned off the alarm and no one would be the wiser. I finally got up, did my stumble to the bathroom and started moving around. Still no stirring from the fiancé. I went back into the bed room and kissed him awake. It took awhile. I kept expecting him to ask to sleep in. He didn’t, so I made it to the gym.

Once at the gym I did cardio. Yeah – only cardio. It was weird, it felt… incomplete. And I REALLY didn’t want to do it. I felt so tired! But I got on and started that little ‘trick’ that I do to ‘fool’ myself into doing something. It started out with, “Just do the warm-up, 5 minutes, that’s all” Then it was, “See that wasn’t so bad, push it to 4mpr, just for a minute, you can stop after a minute if it’s too hard.” And so on. It never got ‘too hard’. Total mileage including the 5 minute warm up and cool down: 2.5miles. Total time: 35:45.

So cardio is done. I actually packed my lunch today – so that’s all set. I found out yesterday that salads just weren’t going to cut it when it’s cold and rainy outside. My brain started saying, “Must have warm food!” So today I planned and brought in stuff I can quickly heat in the microwave.

Best news so far? Down 1 lb as of today (204.8). The weekend ‘bloat’ is falling off already YAY!

I almost forgot – I wanted to tell you about my visit with my Dad.

As you may (or may not) know. My Dad’s a personal trainer. For Bally’s. In Hollywood. While I have never doubted that he’s good at what he does, I did have a pre-conceived idea concerning his cliental. He is, after all, a PT in what I believe has to be one of the most narcissistic cities in the world. I figured his clients were pretty much rich cardio bunnies looking for a good looking (what can I say I’m biased) guy to talk to for an hour.

Well, while we were at his house this past Saturday, my Dad started talking about his clients. And yes, he’s got some spoiled little rich girls who don’t mind paying the money and then ignoring everything he tells them to do. But, my Dad (it turns out) has a ‘special’ certification. (don’t ask me what it is – I don’t know). It makes him qualified to work with people who… for lack of a better word…have ‘special’ needs. He calls these folks his ‘gimp’ squad.

One client is a 20 something male with MS. He’s in a wheelchair, and is angry at the world. He feels the medical community has let him down and he’s turned to strength training as a way to improve his quality of life. My Dad’s designed a program that works with his strengths and weaknesses. He pushes him when he needs it and tells him to take it easy when he needs it as well. Many of the things they do require my Dad to pick him up out of his wheel chair and move him into position. This isn’t your ordinary PT session by far.

Then there is the couple he trains. The husband has Type I Diabetes. He’s always had trouble regulating his blood sugar and thought strength training might be the key. He had used other trainers before but found they were clueless when it came to his unique medical issues. My Dad – spent the days before their first session learning what he could about Diabetes. They then tested this gentleman’s blood sugar before and after his sessions only to discover that his blood sugar wasn’t responding the way it was ‘expected’ to. By working with this man’s Dr they were able to work out a nutrition/training plan that counteracted the spikes and dips that occurred while he was working out AND he’s found that the exercise has improved his fitness overall and he’s better able to regulate his blood sugar outside the gym as well.

His wife has suffered from Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis since she was 11. Before she started working with my Dad, she couldn’t walk up the front porch steps without help from her husband. Again my Dad designed a plan for her that not only has helped her get into better shape, but that’s flexible enough to take into account that some days she’s going to be in more pain then others. So if she can’t move a certain way one day, he’ll find another exercise for her to do that will serve the purpose but avoid the painful movement. He said she proudly comes in and tells him how many miles she walked the day before at the beginning of each session.

And it goes on and on.

My Dad is very passionate about his Gimp squad. He’s excited about helping them train, but he emphasizes over and over again that it’s more about the quality of life. He says it’s different working with people who’s measure of success isn’t the amount of weight they are pressing, or the reps. The real measure is the man who used to have wait for his wife to come home to get the mail because he couldn’t walk all the way to the mailbox, but can now make it to the end of the driveway on his own. The man who’s no longer a prisoner in his own home due to a disability.

The other day my Dad found out about a nearby aquatic center. It’s a huge facility that was build specifically for people with special exercise needs. It’s apparently underutilized even though it’s high tech/state of the art. So, my Dad went to speak to the director. He had to find a way to tell her – you’re system’s flawed and you need me to fix it, without totally alienating her. It sounds like he managed. He’s been asked to write a proposal detailing the changes he would make. He’s So excited!

He also told me that when he left the place he had to find a place out a site for a moment – because he cried when he thought about how the state of the art equipment could be used to help his ‘gimp squad’.

My Dad – 6’2” – 225 lbs cried.

I’m so damn proud of him.