Ok, I finished my last post, and then went out for a walk. Cleared my head a bit.

First, a confession. I overslept and then rushed out of the house this morning, without food! So I stopped at the quickstop for breakfast. I was standing in the Asle looking at all the protien bars and grinding my teeth at the $3.00 price tag when I looked down and saw... POP TARTS! and they were only 75 cents! Without even a second thought I grabbed them, payed and rushed out the door to eat them! Yes, it was a bad choice. Yes it wasn't planned. But I think that will be my 'cheat meal' for the week. I will not let it derail me, not for the week, not for the day, not even for an hour. I'm back on plan with a nice chicken salad for lunch. (Can I justify it partially by saying they were STRAWBERRY pop tarts!? lol!)

Secondly, I went back and looked (again) at my older journal entries. There was something I remembered putting there that I needed to see again..

Here it is...

My notes and thoughts on George Leonard's Book called "Mastery, The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment". Basically, here's how I've applied his thoughts to my goal of weight loss and fitness.

Key 1: Instruction

I suppose a great deal of the blame for my failure to achieve "mastery" of my weight loss and fitness goals has been my lack of choosing an Instructor. Sure, I'll choose one for a while, but it usually doesn't last, and before long, I've moved on to some other method or teacher. Of course, there is a time and a place to move on, but I know I never have REALLY made a commitment. I'm not sure if I should decide now, how long to give this (BFL) to work, or wait. For now, I suppose it's enough that I've committed 12 weeks.

Key 2: Practice

At first, I thought this didn't apply. But then, I realized, at least in the realm of exercise or fitness, there is a time for practice. Then it came to me that in diet too there is practice. It just happens to be on that occurs every day. Sometimes every minute of every day. The key is, as they say, "Staying on the Path". "To practice regularly, even when you seem to be getting no where."

Key 3: Surrender

This was easy for me to spot as a problem area for me. Even when choosing a plan, I was constantly making my own modifications to it. I'm still doing that. Instead of accepting the teacher’s plan, I choose the parts I like and ignore the rest. There will be a time and place for that, but, for now, I'll cease to be "Player of all, Master of none"

Key 4: Internationality

Much of this is - practicing with purpose, but also there was a great deal here that has to do with visualization. Visualization is something I may currently have a problem with. Sure I can see myself exercising, eating correctly, and even running effortlessly, but I cannot, yet, visualize myself as thin toned, and in shape. I'm not even sure how to start. I can't remember ever feeling proud of my body, so I don't even have memories to go on. I'll continue to visualize what I can, and maybe the rest will come to me. It's something to research at the very least.

Key 5: The Edge

I'm not even close to looking over the edge... It may be years before I am... and I'm happy that way, for now.