We went on vacation this weekend. I came back fat, sassy and with a slightly new outlook.

I pretty much ate and did what I wanted but the idea that I was NEEDING to have a plan soon was never far from my mind. My clothes were obviously getting tighter with each passing moment...

But I had a LOT of thinking time, what with an 8 hour drive each way. What I came to realize is that after realizing that I had a problem with food. The next step was to come to grips with the fact that to make any change and make it perminant 1) it would have to be something I desided to do for life - not one day, or one week, or 12 weeks. To over come this issue is going to take a LIFETIME commitment. 2) If this is going to be a lifetime commitment then that means I'm going to have to come up with a plan that I can life with for a LIFETIME. That means overcoming a few things...

The first thing that came to mind was that I really hate the meal planning. I dislike the way it causes me to focus on food ALL the time. BUT then I realized that if I wanted to stay within my monthly budget (one of my other goals) that I would NEED to plan and prepare my meals the day before to avoid dropping in at the store and overspending. Budgeting also means that I need to know what foods I'm buying before I head to the store - so planning meals at least WEEKLY has an advantage above and beyond weight loss. and lastly - if I plan meals it means I'm not having to come up with meals after a long day at work. Everythings planned - defrosted and even marinated before hand - oooo I'm starting to LIKE this.

Next - I really hate feeling deprived. Maybe some people can leave out certain foods and feel SO good about it that when they go back to eating those foods they taiste bad - not me :) I have never had pizza after obstaining after ANY period of time and said to myself "Oh that's nasty!" NEVER! I also hate missing out on the social aspects of food. If I'm at a dinner party and all I can think about is what I can and CAN'T have that's just not right. Some people would say - GET OVER IT already - but so far (and we're talking about 16 years (at least) of dieting here) I've not gotten over feeling deprived when I'm told I CAN'T have something. Now BFL Does have it's limits. In fact it tends to limit your resteraunt choices and other social activities. BUT there are some really good parts of it as well. The allowing 'bad' foods one day a week to lessen feeling of being deprived - the eating often to avoid hunger and starvation and other things. I'm thinking that I'll eat 6 times a day. Small portions - working toward balance but without 'forbidden' foods. Yeah I'll probably not have any dramatic results, BUT I'm a LONG way off from a BFL style transformation anyway. Perhaps when I'm closer (like within 30 lbs of goal?) I'll look to tighten things up. BUT, I have to focus on the FOR LIFE portion of this.

Excercise - This is still an issue. I really think that I (as I said before) need to find a purpose to excercise beyond just having a fit body. As nice as that is, it has YET to be motivation enough to get me working out every day CONSISTANTLY. I may just end up doing what I can until I can find a solution. No reason to put off 'til tomorrow... Just to give you an idea of what I'm leaning toward... something that involves dancing an OLD love of mine.

OH - and the starting point as of today 196.5

We've got a LOT of ground to make up