I can't believe it - I did it. I made the financial commitment and purchased 6 pairs of jeans - 1 in each size from 16 to 6.
I also commmitted to my daughter that I would fit into those size 6 jeans before the end of the year - she's going to be a big motivator, I know it!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
If I don’t make things important to me, I’ll never be disappointed. This apathetic attitude, that’s pretty much the pattern of my life really relates to my weight loss pattern. Typically I set goals with a ‘yeah, it would be great if’ kind of attitude. Great, but not essential. That way I’m allowed to feel accomplished if I succeed, but I’m hardly disappointed if I don’t. I can’t tell you how often I use the words, “Oh well… Such is life”.
The good news is that this attitude saves me a lot of stress. I don’t worry much, because hey, stuff happens. I don’t run myself into a frenzy trying to get things done, because things that get done, get done, and those that don’t, well they aren’t THAT important.
What I haven’t quite figured out yet, though, is how I change my ‘floating through life’ attitude so that I can accomplish more, without losing the parts of myself that I like, and continuing to life pretty much stress free. How do I make my health and weight loss goals important enough that I don’t skip a workout or make poor choices. I realize that to do this, I’m probably going to have to invest some emotion in my goals, and that doesn’t feel comfortable. I hate being disappointed and worse of all, I hate to disappoint myself. But, maybe it’s time to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe it’s time to push myself outside of the gym, if only to make sure that I make it there to push myself again.
Something to think about at least.
The good news is that this attitude saves me a lot of stress. I don’t worry much, because hey, stuff happens. I don’t run myself into a frenzy trying to get things done, because things that get done, get done, and those that don’t, well they aren’t THAT important.
What I haven’t quite figured out yet, though, is how I change my ‘floating through life’ attitude so that I can accomplish more, without losing the parts of myself that I like, and continuing to life pretty much stress free. How do I make my health and weight loss goals important enough that I don’t skip a workout or make poor choices. I realize that to do this, I’m probably going to have to invest some emotion in my goals, and that doesn’t feel comfortable. I hate being disappointed and worse of all, I hate to disappoint myself. But, maybe it’s time to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe it’s time to push myself outside of the gym, if only to make sure that I make it there to push myself again.
Something to think about at least.
The first is getting closer and closer. I’m working on planning my first week of meals. I’m also creating a calendar for myself in my Calendar creator program, listing all my workouts and with another ‘body I admire’ for each month for inspiration. I’m also doing all I can to find my weaknesses, and setting new plans to help me succeed. The first new habit I’m going to create is to write down everything I eat each day. I know I ALWAYS do a better job of eating and snack a lot less when I have to write it down. Knowing I have to write down everything that goes into my mouth usually makes me think twice before I put it there. May as well take advantage of my inherent laziness after all. I’ve also worked really hard on creating a daily schedule that not only leaves me time to exercise, but to journal and plan my meals the way I need to. I know this is an important element for me, but I also know that it has a tendency to overtake my life. I need to find balance between having a healthy life and having a life. Mainly I’ve been focusing on my mental attitude. Building a support system both internally and externally. Setting myself up to succeed by foreseeing and overcoming problems BEFORE I’ve found myself at the bottom of a box of chocolates. My biggest issue? The ‘I want it now’ attitude. When it comes to the choice between having my cake today, or loosing 2 lbs tomorrow – I’ll almost always have the cake. After all, it feels good NOW, and there’s always next week to lose those 2 lbs. I need to create a sense of urgency, within myself, a need to lose those 2 lbs THIS week, that will overpower the urge for the cake today. At the same time, I don’t want to become insanely focused on the scale. I’ve tried the mental attitude that this is about being healthy, and not just about weight, but – that hasn’t worked yet. So rather then try the same thing over and over and getting no results, I’ve got to figure out a new approach. It’s all a learning process, and trial and error. You can bet, that I if I find a trigger that works, I’ll shout from the mountain top!
Something else I’m doing different this time? I’m starting my challenge on a Saturday. This way I’ve put my ‘planning time’ on a Friday Night or Saturday Morning – OR – if I don’t plan Saturday’s a day I can usually ‘wing it’ without too many consequences because I’m at home, and Sunday’s a free day anyway so I’ve got basically two days to finalize my planning for the next week before I have to go back to work. As I said I’m trying to set myself up to succeed in every way I can.
Something else I’m doing different this time? I’m starting my challenge on a Saturday. This way I’ve put my ‘planning time’ on a Friday Night or Saturday Morning – OR – if I don’t plan Saturday’s a day I can usually ‘wing it’ without too many consequences because I’m at home, and Sunday’s a free day anyway so I’ve got basically two days to finalize my planning for the next week before I have to go back to work. As I said I’m trying to set myself up to succeed in every way I can.
Monday, December 27, 2004
As much as I hate the whole 'New Year Resolution' deal, I can say that the 'goals' I've set myself for the new year have me looking forward to the change of the calendar more then I ever have. There is something inside me that says, "This is the year it all changes". Not just nutritionally, but in other ways as well.
One of the biggest things that's happening in our lives is that Nigel has resigned, and Jan 1st is his first day working for, ME! Well for us really, but we like to joke that I'm his new boss. We've been trying to get our own business running for two years now, and we just couldn't find the time. So we finally desided to take an enormous leep of faith and MAKE the time. No more, 'When we have all our bills payed off" or "When we have a year's worth of income saved".
As I said before I've set the bar pretty high for my personal fitness goals. Nov 1st is when I plan to hit goal. Yes,it's agressive. But I belive it's achievable. I'm not allowing myself a lot of 'slurge' room, but I think that's a good thing. I've also been doing a LOT of visualization. Yes, it's still hard for me to visulize myself as thin fit and at goal, but I can imagine I'm somebody else and THAT person is thin, fit and at goal. Funny thing the mind. I'm a pretty good actress, so I think that 'acting' like a thin fit person might be the key for me. Play the part long enough and you become it. At least that's what I'm going to do.
Besides the trip that Nigel has promised me (When I reach goal) I have another goal. Next year for christmas I want to give him a 'pin up' calendar. som of the AMAZING transformation photos I have seen have inspired me to want to do something similar, for 'his' eyes only of course. But just imagining being able to confidently pose for something like that has been a BIG inspiration for me.
I'll be posting some definative goals soon. This week will be a LOT Of planning I'm looking forward to it! Better get started.
One of the biggest things that's happening in our lives is that Nigel has resigned, and Jan 1st is his first day working for, ME! Well for us really, but we like to joke that I'm his new boss. We've been trying to get our own business running for two years now, and we just couldn't find the time. So we finally desided to take an enormous leep of faith and MAKE the time. No more, 'When we have all our bills payed off" or "When we have a year's worth of income saved".
As I said before I've set the bar pretty high for my personal fitness goals. Nov 1st is when I plan to hit goal. Yes,it's agressive. But I belive it's achievable. I'm not allowing myself a lot of 'slurge' room, but I think that's a good thing. I've also been doing a LOT of visualization. Yes, it's still hard for me to visulize myself as thin fit and at goal, but I can imagine I'm somebody else and THAT person is thin, fit and at goal. Funny thing the mind. I'm a pretty good actress, so I think that 'acting' like a thin fit person might be the key for me. Play the part long enough and you become it. At least that's what I'm going to do.
Besides the trip that Nigel has promised me (When I reach goal) I have another goal. Next year for christmas I want to give him a 'pin up' calendar. som of the AMAZING transformation photos I have seen have inspired me to want to do something similar, for 'his' eyes only of course. But just imagining being able to confidently pose for something like that has been a BIG inspiration for me.
I'll be posting some definative goals soon. This week will be a LOT Of planning I'm looking forward to it! Better get started.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Hey everyone - Not much to report, progress or otherwise. I've managed to keep things rather moderate over the past few days. Christmas, of course, is running me ragged. My son and daughter spent the weekend with me, and haven't really set a date to go back to thier dad's. They are supposted to go back before Christmas, I know that. Then they are back with me for a week until New Year. For those of you who knew me before I can say that a LOT has happend over the past year, and things between my kids and I have improved 110%. My son is even talking about coming to live with me. Oh - and the ex got married. Life is GREAT. My fiance' and I haven't gotten married yet. We're still waiting for enough money to go on our honeymoon. It will happen when it happens. Until then we're happy, and in love. We will have been engaged two years on New Years, and most people have stopped asking when the date is. We're more committed to each other then many of the married folks I know, so I can't see how a piece of paper can change anything.
Healthwise I'm doing ok. I've gained a lot of weight back, but I've got a plan in place for that. I've also got an awsome inspiration. Last night as we were laying in bed discussing Christmas Nigel and I started talking about gift for each other. I mentioned that I've really struggled with what to give him, just because he's such a hard person to buy things for. He pulled me close and said, "You know, one of hte best gifts you could give me would be for you to lose this weight and be happy with yourself" Ok - I know some women would be completely offended by something like that, but if you knew my sweety you would know that he would only say something like that with the deepest of love in his heart.
So he and I started talking about my goals. I told him that I've figured out that if I started full bore in January and kept with it, I could reach my goal in time for Thanksgiving. So he said. I'll tell you what, if you reach your goal, then as a celebration we'll go to New York City and watch the Ball Drop next New Year's Eve. He also promised me a shopping spree which, belive me, I'm going to take him up on.
One of the things I'm going to do as an 'investment' in my goals is I'm going to hit up a store and buy 6 pairs of jean - from size 16 (my current size) to size 6 (my goal size) all the exact same brand and style. That way I'll have a true impartial measure of my progress. I'll easily be able to measure how close I am to the next 'goal' without being side tracked by the difference in size between brands.
I'm looking forward to the coming year and the challenges it will bring.
Happy Holiday's to you all! and thank you for the welcome back!
Healthwise I'm doing ok. I've gained a lot of weight back, but I've got a plan in place for that. I've also got an awsome inspiration. Last night as we were laying in bed discussing Christmas Nigel and I started talking about gift for each other. I mentioned that I've really struggled with what to give him, just because he's such a hard person to buy things for. He pulled me close and said, "You know, one of hte best gifts you could give me would be for you to lose this weight and be happy with yourself" Ok - I know some women would be completely offended by something like that, but if you knew my sweety you would know that he would only say something like that with the deepest of love in his heart.
So he and I started talking about my goals. I told him that I've figured out that if I started full bore in January and kept with it, I could reach my goal in time for Thanksgiving. So he said. I'll tell you what, if you reach your goal, then as a celebration we'll go to New York City and watch the Ball Drop next New Year's Eve. He also promised me a shopping spree which, belive me, I'm going to take him up on.
One of the things I'm going to do as an 'investment' in my goals is I'm going to hit up a store and buy 6 pairs of jean - from size 16 (my current size) to size 6 (my goal size) all the exact same brand and style. That way I'll have a true impartial measure of my progress. I'll easily be able to measure how close I am to the next 'goal' without being side tracked by the difference in size between brands.
I'm looking forward to the coming year and the challenges it will bring.
Happy Holiday's to you all! and thank you for the welcome back!
Friday, December 17, 2004
It's that time again. The time when everyone on the planet is recommitting themselves to loosing weight getting fit, and 1000 other promises that we'll forget about before the end of January.
I'm no different. I'm recommitting; looking to regain that focus that I had. Looking to make it last longer then a day or two. The only time in my life when I was successful was when I was posting faithfully - here. And so I start again.
I've backslid. More then backslid it seems. Today's weight 203, and what have I had so far to eat? A cinnamon roll and a muffin. I haven't picked up a weight or stepped on the treadmill in months. I've got every excuse under the sun. I'm too busy, I'm too tired, I'm too...stupid is more like. It's time to put myself first again. It's time to start feeling GOOD about myself again; mentally AND physically.
And so I'm here - looking for a little tough love and a lot of ideas and support. I'm going to start slowly the end of this year. As much as I would love to jump in with both feet right away I know that this is the holiday season and I'm going to enjoy it. That's not to say I'm giving my self the excuse to continue the way I've been going. It just means that I might walk instead of run one day, or only do 3 sets instead of 5. It means that I'll have a piece of chocolate on a day other then my free day but not the whole box.
But, I'm going to make progress, each and EVERY day.
As for 2005 - I've got some goals - I'm going to plant the idea that THIS is the year I'm going to reach my goal. It's time to stop saying one day, and make it happen today.
I'm no different. I'm recommitting; looking to regain that focus that I had. Looking to make it last longer then a day or two. The only time in my life when I was successful was when I was posting faithfully - here. And so I start again.
I've backslid. More then backslid it seems. Today's weight 203, and what have I had so far to eat? A cinnamon roll and a muffin. I haven't picked up a weight or stepped on the treadmill in months. I've got every excuse under the sun. I'm too busy, I'm too tired, I'm too...stupid is more like. It's time to put myself first again. It's time to start feeling GOOD about myself again; mentally AND physically.
And so I'm here - looking for a little tough love and a lot of ideas and support. I'm going to start slowly the end of this year. As much as I would love to jump in with both feet right away I know that this is the holiday season and I'm going to enjoy it. That's not to say I'm giving my self the excuse to continue the way I've been going. It just means that I might walk instead of run one day, or only do 3 sets instead of 5. It means that I'll have a piece of chocolate on a day other then my free day but not the whole box.
But, I'm going to make progress, each and EVERY day.
As for 2005 - I've got some goals - I'm going to plant the idea that THIS is the year I'm going to reach my goal. It's time to stop saying one day, and make it happen today.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Hi!
Well today I've taken the dive again. I even joined the BFL challenge - offically.
The goal - see what changes I can make by the end of the year. I know five weeks are going to see me being a BFL finalist, but I figure it can at least get a jump start on any New Year Resolutions.
Offical starting weight is 202.5
I don't have measurements yet, but I'm sure I won't like them.
Goals - same as always - lose as much as I can. But more importantly FINISH. Stick too it. Honor self promices. That's more important to me then anything else right now.
So I start the whole thing with a challenge. I'm going to dinner tonight. Chinese food. The plan? See if I can find the menu online and plan what I'm going to order before I get there.
The other option is to have a few free meals during the week but no free day.
of course that's complicated by a vacation at the end of this week, and several days in Disney Land. sheesh!
Life's full of complications though. I just need to learn to live with them.
Well today I've taken the dive again. I even joined the BFL challenge - offically.
The goal - see what changes I can make by the end of the year. I know five weeks are going to see me being a BFL finalist, but I figure it can at least get a jump start on any New Year Resolutions.
Offical starting weight is 202.5
I don't have measurements yet, but I'm sure I won't like them.
Goals - same as always - lose as much as I can. But more importantly FINISH. Stick too it. Honor self promices. That's more important to me then anything else right now.
So I start the whole thing with a challenge. I'm going to dinner tonight. Chinese food. The plan? See if I can find the menu online and plan what I'm going to order before I get there.
The other option is to have a few free meals during the week but no free day.
of course that's complicated by a vacation at the end of this week, and several days in Disney Land. sheesh!
Life's full of complications though. I just need to learn to live with them.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
I want to thank those of you who've posted these past few weeks. The fact that someone cares enough to post on a 'dead' blog means a lot to me.
So, where am I now? Unfortunatly, I'm back to OVER 200. It sucks go be stuck inside this body. BUT, I haven't given up. In my mind every day is a chance to make good choices. I don't always make them, but I at least believe I've got that choice.
I had a good week - two weeks ago - My fiance' started doing the program with me and I had a whole week of quailty eating. I felt great, and dropped below 200 almost immediatly. The life snuck back in. One cookie turned into a slice of cake, etc.
I haven't worked out in ages. The treadmill and weight machine mock me daily. I promice them I'll be back but it hasn't happened yet. But, as I said, I havn't given up. I'm not sure how I get back into the groove again. There has to be a way. I'll not be stuck like this forever.
Once again, thank you to those of you who responded here. It means a lot to me to know there are those who are watching and who care. I'll try to post with regularity again. Maybe that will allow me to work through some of this.
In the mean while. Weight today - 202. It's a long hard road ahead of us.
So, where am I now? Unfortunatly, I'm back to OVER 200. It sucks go be stuck inside this body. BUT, I haven't given up. In my mind every day is a chance to make good choices. I don't always make them, but I at least believe I've got that choice.
I had a good week - two weeks ago - My fiance' started doing the program with me and I had a whole week of quailty eating. I felt great, and dropped below 200 almost immediatly. The life snuck back in. One cookie turned into a slice of cake, etc.
I haven't worked out in ages. The treadmill and weight machine mock me daily. I promice them I'll be back but it hasn't happened yet. But, as I said, I havn't given up. I'm not sure how I get back into the groove again. There has to be a way. I'll not be stuck like this forever.
Once again, thank you to those of you who responded here. It means a lot to me to know there are those who are watching and who care. I'll try to post with regularity again. Maybe that will allow me to work through some of this.
In the mean while. Weight today - 202. It's a long hard road ahead of us.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
As you probably guessed, my program tood a dump. Ediets didn't help and I'm sitting here still as heavy and out of shape as before. I haven't gained back all of the weight I lost last year, but it's close. Worse, I feel like CRAP! It probably doesn't help that I'm on my period, but either way I've lost whatever edge I ever gained.
I'm not sure what is worse, feeling fat and misserable, or knowing that just a year ago I was better then this and on a path to be great. I don't know why I have so much trouble stay on this path. It's not like I don't want it. I want it so bad that feeling like I do right now makes me want to curl up in a little ball and just cry. But then life settles in and reach for a doughnut instead of something healthy. Or I sit and watch a movie instead of hitting the weights or treadmill. I really have NO excuses! And yet I continue to find them.
I'm at a loss. I'm not really sure where to turn or what to do. The problem isn't with what program I choose. It's not about eating carbs, or eating fat or do I lift first or do cardio more. It's about me - sticking to what I start and following through with my commitments to myself.
We are once again at square one folks. And if you're still with me. Thanks!
I'm not sure what is worse, feeling fat and misserable, or knowing that just a year ago I was better then this and on a path to be great. I don't know why I have so much trouble stay on this path. It's not like I don't want it. I want it so bad that feeling like I do right now makes me want to curl up in a little ball and just cry. But then life settles in and reach for a doughnut instead of something healthy. Or I sit and watch a movie instead of hitting the weights or treadmill. I really have NO excuses! And yet I continue to find them.
I'm at a loss. I'm not really sure where to turn or what to do. The problem isn't with what program I choose. It's not about eating carbs, or eating fat or do I lift first or do cardio more. It's about me - sticking to what I start and following through with my commitments to myself.
We are once again at square one folks. And if you're still with me. Thanks!
Thursday, September 02, 2004
It's been a week, I know.
Things have actually been going rather well. I haven't been 100% in my eating (more like 85%) but I feel like I've made some progress. I haven't missed a single weight workout, though my cardio hasn't been consistant. The results? I haven't lost a single pound. Still hanging at 191. I suppose the good news is I haven't been 100%. If I was putting 100% into it and not losing anything... that would just SUCK. So the next week the goal is to clean up the eating some more and get more consistant with the cardio. It should be an interesting week as I'm alone Tuesday through Friday. I'm not sure if that's going to help or hurt me. We'll see.
And for those of you thinking (muscle weighs more then fat) My BF% isn't dropping either. I'm waiting to do measurements for a few more weeks. My clothes? There are days I feel like I'm doing something, and others I swear they are tighter then ever. I'm pretty sure that if I would just throw a little consistancy into the mix that I would really start to take off. Ok- I'm MORE then sure.
Oh and I really need to drink more water. I've been watching myself and I'm pretty sure that four litres of diet pepsi a day CAN'T be good for me. Time to really start working on ditching that habit. Or at least making it managable.
Things have actually been going rather well. I haven't been 100% in my eating (more like 85%) but I feel like I've made some progress. I haven't missed a single weight workout, though my cardio hasn't been consistant. The results? I haven't lost a single pound. Still hanging at 191. I suppose the good news is I haven't been 100%. If I was putting 100% into it and not losing anything... that would just SUCK. So the next week the goal is to clean up the eating some more and get more consistant with the cardio. It should be an interesting week as I'm alone Tuesday through Friday. I'm not sure if that's going to help or hurt me. We'll see.
And for those of you thinking (muscle weighs more then fat) My BF% isn't dropping either. I'm waiting to do measurements for a few more weeks. My clothes? There are days I feel like I'm doing something, and others I swear they are tighter then ever. I'm pretty sure that if I would just throw a little consistancy into the mix that I would really start to take off. Ok- I'm MORE then sure.
Oh and I really need to drink more water. I've been watching myself and I'm pretty sure that four litres of diet pepsi a day CAN'T be good for me. Time to really start working on ditching that habit. Or at least making it managable.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
I talked to my dad today and he’s coming to visit. I’m excited about this, but at the same time I’m a little stressed out because, seriously, the thought crossed my mind, “I have GOT to lose some weight before then!” and the next thought? “Tomorrow I’m going to get serious!” So I started looking at the calendar. I was stunned, thrilled and amused all at the same time because, you see, my dad is arriving in EXACTLY 12 weeks! I’ve got 12 weeks, a BFL challenge length of time to make some serious body changes.
And why, may you ask, am I worried about this? Well, aside from the fact that I don’t see my dad that often and I’d like to make a good impression? He’s a personal trainer.
So tomorrow I start, with purpose, with goals! This is going to be cool!
And why, may you ask, am I worried about this? Well, aside from the fact that I don’t see my dad that often and I’d like to make a good impression? He’s a personal trainer.
So tomorrow I start, with purpose, with goals! This is going to be cool!
Monday, August 23, 2004
A recap of my first week
Wednesday turned out to be as challenging as I had thought. Though not for the reasons I had thought. For some reason I just did NOT want to eat the food I had brought with me. I muddled through the day substituting bars for a few meals. At my meeting, I was in for a surprise: Food, real food: teriyaki chicken, steamed veggies, salad, and rolls. I had a little of everything. But, as I had figured I didn’t get my workout in.
Thursday I started on plan, then my honey called me up and said “Let’s go to Olive Garden tonight”. OG, my nemesis! I skipped a few meals so I would have room. I kind of wiggled my schedule around and labeled this as a ‘free meal’. One GOOD thing was that we did our workout before leaving. At OG I limited my bread, but didn’t resist the Italian Margaritas (I had two). I’ve been craving them for MONTHS. I had a half plate of raviolis and then didn’t even eat all of them, so I walked out of there feeling pretty strong.
Friday went well, I did my run and it was easier then the time before. Food was good and on plan with a dinner that was YUMMY.
Saturday – Dinner was a free meal with the rest of the day on plan. We did a bunch of walking, but didn’t do our workout. When I woke up I said “Should we work out now, or when we get home?” He said “when we get home”. But when we got home – well we had had a beer at dinner and it was late so the workout was put off.
Sunday – again we thought we would workout when we got home, again, it didn’t happen. BUT we did hike about 5 miles or so for our cardio. Breakfast was my last free meal and the rest was on plan.
Results for the week? Weight is down, pant-o-meter is showing positive results, though measurements are still not showing amazing results. Still I FEEL really good, and that’s positive motivation to keep things moving.
Wednesday turned out to be as challenging as I had thought. Though not for the reasons I had thought. For some reason I just did NOT want to eat the food I had brought with me. I muddled through the day substituting bars for a few meals. At my meeting, I was in for a surprise: Food, real food: teriyaki chicken, steamed veggies, salad, and rolls. I had a little of everything. But, as I had figured I didn’t get my workout in.
Thursday I started on plan, then my honey called me up and said “Let’s go to Olive Garden tonight”. OG, my nemesis! I skipped a few meals so I would have room. I kind of wiggled my schedule around and labeled this as a ‘free meal’. One GOOD thing was that we did our workout before leaving. At OG I limited my bread, but didn’t resist the Italian Margaritas (I had two). I’ve been craving them for MONTHS. I had a half plate of raviolis and then didn’t even eat all of them, so I walked out of there feeling pretty strong.
Friday went well, I did my run and it was easier then the time before. Food was good and on plan with a dinner that was YUMMY.
Saturday – Dinner was a free meal with the rest of the day on plan. We did a bunch of walking, but didn’t do our workout. When I woke up I said “Should we work out now, or when we get home?” He said “when we get home”. But when we got home – well we had had a beer at dinner and it was late so the workout was put off.
Sunday – again we thought we would workout when we got home, again, it didn’t happen. BUT we did hike about 5 miles or so for our cardio. Breakfast was my last free meal and the rest was on plan.
Results for the week? Weight is down, pant-o-meter is showing positive results, though measurements are still not showing amazing results. Still I FEEL really good, and that’s positive motivation to keep things moving.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
The little girl in me is being stubborn. She keeps peeking into my lunch box and then sitting back and pouting at it's contents. It's my fault I suppose. After all I fixed everything in on my ediets menu plan, and I didn't really THINK while I was fixing it what the brat was going to say. The mature adult in me was is residence and as I added apples and raisans to my chicken salad she said "This should be intresting". And when I cooked my chicken strips for a burrito with bell peppers, I thought "It can't hurt to try..." and when I chose to NOT include any cheese I thought "I don't NEED cheese" But the brat, she looks at that food and says "Ewww! Ick! Yucky! Let's go to the store and grabs a smores bar!" And where is my helpful adult now? I think the brat has her tied up in the basement.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
The day has ended great - I had some 'rough' moments when I had to wait WAY too long for meal3 (as in it was already time for meal 4) and I got REALLY hungry - but it all worked out, and I stayed on plan! whoop!
Run tonight was HARD. I'm so bummed at how out of shape I got in so little time. But it should come back quickly.
Meals are packed for tomorrow, but it'll be a challenging day. It's time for the quarterly dinner meeting, and that means passing up the crap food they will serve there for a bar, (or something like that)so I can have a good solid dinner here at home. Also getting in excercise when I don't get home until after 9:00pm? Yeah it's a challenge and may have to be put off one day - I SO hate to do it, but this is about a weeks work more then a days, so I'll have to be satisfied.
Run tonight was HARD. I'm so bummed at how out of shape I got in so little time. But it should come back quickly.
Meals are packed for tomorrow, but it'll be a challenging day. It's time for the quarterly dinner meeting, and that means passing up the crap food they will serve there for a bar, (or something like that)so I can have a good solid dinner here at home. Also getting in excercise when I don't get home until after 9:00pm? Yeah it's a challenge and may have to be put off one day - I SO hate to do it, but this is about a weeks work more then a days, so I'll have to be satisfied.
I was in my car earlier when I had a thought - it started this way.
I started feeling pretty worn out this afternoon and I was pumping myself up to do what needs to be done after I get home. I figured, bare minimum for the night would be excecercise, dinner and packing my lunch for the next day. Then, of course, that lazy little girl that lives inside of me started whispering "You don't HAVE to pack your lunch" Amazingly, this warm mothering voice in my head smothered out the witch with the thought "Yes you do, because you need to pack lunch for N____ too". Suddenly I had hit on something!
You see, it's much too easy for me to find reasons to not do things for myself. I'll often pass on new clothes or some treat for myself, that I would NEVER skip for someone else that I loved. What does that mean that I love others more then myself? Probably.
I hear those of you out there screaming... "Take care of YOU first - what are you thinking?" But then I realized, why not use this to my advantage rather then fight it, and try to change part of my ingrained nature?
Why DO they tell us that we should never lose weight for someone else? No I'm not talking about my fiance' telling me "lose weight or I'm leaving". THAT is wrong on SO many levels. But why not attach some emotional baggage to weightloss that goes beyond my selfish reasons that OBVIOUSLY arn't working.
When it comes down to sticking to my plan, or eating what everyone else is eating so they feel comfortable - which do you think _I_ choose? 9 times out of 10 I'll cave.
SO, my thought is this. Yes, I'm doing this for myself. Because I want to be thin, and healthy, and strong. But I'm doing it for my fiance' who deserves to have a fiance' who's thin, healthy and strong, and for the example I can set for him. I'm also doing it for my children - who deserve a mother who's thin healthy and strong. For my 16 year old who needs a healthy example of losing weight, for my 10 year old (who's shaped exactly like me) who needs to know that she isn't doomed to obesety, for my son who deserves to have a MILF... ok, maybe that's taking it a bit too far, but you get the idea.
I think, that for me to succeed it needs to be about more then me. Maybe that's been the missing key all along.
We'll see
I started feeling pretty worn out this afternoon and I was pumping myself up to do what needs to be done after I get home. I figured, bare minimum for the night would be excecercise, dinner and packing my lunch for the next day. Then, of course, that lazy little girl that lives inside of me started whispering "You don't HAVE to pack your lunch" Amazingly, this warm mothering voice in my head smothered out the witch with the thought "Yes you do, because you need to pack lunch for N____ too". Suddenly I had hit on something!
You see, it's much too easy for me to find reasons to not do things for myself. I'll often pass on new clothes or some treat for myself, that I would NEVER skip for someone else that I loved. What does that mean that I love others more then myself? Probably.
I hear those of you out there screaming... "Take care of YOU first - what are you thinking?" But then I realized, why not use this to my advantage rather then fight it, and try to change part of my ingrained nature?
Why DO they tell us that we should never lose weight for someone else? No I'm not talking about my fiance' telling me "lose weight or I'm leaving". THAT is wrong on SO many levels. But why not attach some emotional baggage to weightloss that goes beyond my selfish reasons that OBVIOUSLY arn't working.
When it comes down to sticking to my plan, or eating what everyone else is eating so they feel comfortable - which do you think _I_ choose? 9 times out of 10 I'll cave.
SO, my thought is this. Yes, I'm doing this for myself. Because I want to be thin, and healthy, and strong. But I'm doing it for my fiance' who deserves to have a fiance' who's thin, healthy and strong, and for the example I can set for him. I'm also doing it for my children - who deserve a mother who's thin healthy and strong. For my 16 year old who needs a healthy example of losing weight, for my 10 year old (who's shaped exactly like me) who needs to know that she isn't doomed to obesety, for my son who deserves to have a MILF... ok, maybe that's taking it a bit too far, but you get the idea.
I think, that for me to succeed it needs to be about more then me. Maybe that's been the missing key all along.
We'll see
Yesterday was a definite Coupe! I ate small meals, six times a day and had an AWSOME upper body workout. The best part was that I had a workout partner! That’s right, my sweetie worked out with me, and said he enjoyed it so much that he wants to do it again! Whoo Hoo! There is no doubt in my mind that with him working out with me, that I’ll get it done. Talk about motivation.
I also tried something else for the food issue. I purchased a subscription to ediets. They have a BFL option that really makes planning the week and purchasing groceries easy. I have to say, that I’m feeling strong, empowered; exactly the kinds of feelings that get me up and carry me through those tempting moments. This morning, when I stopped at the store to pick up my morning Pepsi, I had no second thoughts while walking past the powdered doughnuts or king sized Reece’s peanut butter cups. That’s a huge step for me. HUGE.
I’ve got all my food packed for the day. Breakfast was Grapenuts with soymilk, strawberries and a slice of cheese. Mid-meal was a chicken sandwich. Lunch is a salad with leftover, blacked chicken from last night. Late mid-meal is yogurt with blueberries and pine nuts. Dinner is extra-lean hamburger on a slice of bread with carrots, and dessert, an any day ‘Sunday’.
Exercise tonight is a 20 minute run – HIIT.
I love when I feel this way. When things are set out, planned and I’m feeling up to any task. I wish I could hold onto this feeling everyday, but then, if I could, I suppose I would already weigh 130lbs wouldn’t I?
1 day down 83 to go! Let’s see what the day chooses to throw at me next.
I also tried something else for the food issue. I purchased a subscription to ediets. They have a BFL option that really makes planning the week and purchasing groceries easy. I have to say, that I’m feeling strong, empowered; exactly the kinds of feelings that get me up and carry me through those tempting moments. This morning, when I stopped at the store to pick up my morning Pepsi, I had no second thoughts while walking past the powdered doughnuts or king sized Reece’s peanut butter cups. That’s a huge step for me. HUGE.
I’ve got all my food packed for the day. Breakfast was Grapenuts with soymilk, strawberries and a slice of cheese. Mid-meal was a chicken sandwich. Lunch is a salad with leftover, blacked chicken from last night. Late mid-meal is yogurt with blueberries and pine nuts. Dinner is extra-lean hamburger on a slice of bread with carrots, and dessert, an any day ‘Sunday’.
Exercise tonight is a 20 minute run – HIIT.
I love when I feel this way. When things are set out, planned and I’m feeling up to any task. I wish I could hold onto this feeling everyday, but then, if I could, I suppose I would already weigh 130lbs wouldn’t I?
1 day down 83 to go! Let’s see what the day chooses to throw at me next.
Monday, August 16, 2004
OMG - I haven't been by the BFL site in a while - so you can imagine my surprise when I saw THIS
Real Life Success Stories - Inga Smith
Horray to EAS for picking a winner who may not have the ideal bikini body, but who's made HUGE strides toward a healthier lifestyle. I REALLY needed to see that today.
Real Life Success Stories - Inga Smith
Horray to EAS for picking a winner who may not have the ideal bikini body, but who's made HUGE strides toward a healthier lifestyle. I REALLY needed to see that today.
Alright - I feel so stupid really - I almost feel like I should just do this for a few weeks and THEN come back here and say "Hey I did it!" How many times have I started and not followed through? Too many, but I keep on keepin' on I guess. I really have to stop thinking this way. mulling over my mirade of defeats. This time WILL be different. Why? Ummm because it's Augest that's why. Sheesh, if there was some magic formula that said why some times we drop out and others we complete our tasks, then heck, EVERYONE would be doing it right?
Anyway - starting stats:
Weight 191.5
Body Fat 46.7%
Lean Mass 102.1
Fat 89.4
Neck 14
Chst 38
Bust 45
Ribs 36
Waist 37.5
Hips 46.5
Butt 44.5
Thigh 26.5/26.5
Calf 15.25/15.25
Upper Arm 14.5/14.5
Bicep 12/11.75
Forarm 10.25/10.5
Wrist 6/6.25
My goals this time are simple. Make it 'til the end. To eat right and excercise. I'm not going get hyper focused on results. What I want to see, though, is me meeting me daily goals. Me making right choices and getting fitter and stronger. But mostly I want to see me gaining confidence in myself and my ability to stick to something. To complete a task.
Now, I need to go mix up a nice shake - make my menu for the week, make a shopping list and perhaps go shopping!
Anyway - starting stats:
Weight 191.5
Body Fat 46.7%
Lean Mass 102.1
Fat 89.4
Neck 14
Chst 38
Bust 45
Ribs 36
Waist 37.5
Hips 46.5
Butt 44.5
Thigh 26.5/26.5
Calf 15.25/15.25
Upper Arm 14.5/14.5
Bicep 12/11.75
Forarm 10.25/10.5
Wrist 6/6.25
My goals this time are simple. Make it 'til the end. To eat right and excercise. I'm not going get hyper focused on results. What I want to see, though, is me meeting me daily goals. Me making right choices and getting fitter and stronger. But mostly I want to see me gaining confidence in myself and my ability to stick to something. To complete a task.
Now, I need to go mix up a nice shake - make my menu for the week, make a shopping list and perhaps go shopping!
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