After spending the day feeling pretty strong and very pleased with myself, I finally broke down and took my starting pictures. To say I was stunned, is an understatment. All those months of telling myself, 'It's not that bad." jumped up and slapped me in the face. It's BAD! After looking through the shots I had to go in and give my fiance' a big hug and kiss for managing to look at me every day, and still want me. Sheesh!

My first thought was to go lock myself in a dark room and curl up in a little ball. BUT, I'm trying my best to keep a postive look out. After all, it's bad now, but this is the last time I will look like this. Tomorrow it will be better, and then next day it will be better, and those days will build into weeks and before long I'll have pictures I'll be able to glance at without wanting to throw myself off of a high place. And by the end of the year, I'll have pictures that I'll want to make into t-shirts and wear to the mall because I'll be so proud to say 'That's Me!' And think of the dramatic transformation this will make when I'm finished! Heh - at least that's what I've been tellling myself. The good news is I didn't go run for a doughnut or something else to sooth my pain. I'm emotionally mature enough now to know that food doesn't solve my problems.

As for the rest of my day... It's been great. I've eaten clean and on plan all day (albeit late) and I ran for 20 minutes, did some streching for 10 minutes and did 10 minutes of pilates. I'm feeling physically better after only 1 day and that's encouraging in and of itself.

I also weighed and did my measurements. ICK!

Weight 208.5

Masurments:

Neck: 14
Chest: 39.5
Bust: 46.5
Ribs: 37.5
Hips: 49.25
Butt: 49
Thigh: 27.5
Calf: 15.5
Upper Arm: 15.5
Bicep: 13
Forarm 10.75
Wrist: 6.13
Ankle: 8.75

None of this changes my goals - Although the next 12 weeks are going to mean making up lost ground I'm not going to let that get me down. It has to be done and ti won't be any easier for me whining about it. The only thing I can do is make sure I've learned my lesson and not let myself be in this position again.

Food is planned for tomorrow:

1. Cheese Crusted Potatoes
2. Power Muffins
3. Turkey Sandwich
4. chicken in white wine
5. Protein pudding
6: Banana Yogurt

Workout is planned as well:

Uh - it's a free day so I plan to walk around the mall - I'm going to wear a pedometer and see how many steps I can do. (some days - having short legs is an advantage)

Shopping is done, meals are planned.

It's going to be a GREAT week.