Help us Save Lives

Dear Family and Friends,

I have some big news to share?
Believe it or not, I'm going to swim/bike/run in the Lavaman Triathlon in Kona, HI on March 29, 2009. Think I?m crazy? Truth be told, you may not be so far off the mark! I'm not in really great shape. (ok, I?m in terrible shape) My feet aren't so good and sometimes I run out of breath walking up the stairs in my house! As of right now, I can't run very far or for a very long time. Luckily I?m ?okay? on a bike and you who?ve known me since I was small know I?m a fish in the water. Still, 31.9 miles seems like a really long way to go. (That?s .9 mile swim, 24.8 mile bike and 6.3 mile run) I mean, really really long (try watching your car's odometer on a trip until you hit 31.9 miles - it's far!). So, am I crazy? Well, a couple of very sane reasons are driving my decision to run:

The first is that as I approach my 40th birthday I want to focus on two things. One is that I want to get into good shape and the other is that I want to focus on things outside myself and one way to do that is to give something to a worthy cause. What I have discovered is an incredible opportunity to do both things at one time!

I have signed up with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program. Through this program, I will not just be running for myself, but in support of an organization that is dedicated to curing lymphoma, Hodgkin?s disease and myeloma and improving the lives of patients and their families. In exchange for fundraising, the Society will help me train for the race, provide coaching and medical guidance, and will put me together with others of similar skills. Specifically, I will be training in honor of Katy Mueller, my cousin who died of Leukemia when she was only 15 years old.

Thinking about how fortunate I am and learning about how these diseases affect families (the stories are incredible), it has made one very important thing clear to me: you can never take anything for granted. Your life can change on the drop of a dime; it's important to seize the opportunity to make a difference when you can.

So here I am, seizing my opportunity. My goals are two-fold: one, to cross the finish line of the Lavaman Triathlon on March 29th. (even if I have to crawl to do it!); and two, to raise $5,000 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I'm hoping you will be able to help me with both of these goals.

Your encouragement and positive reinforcement (i.e., ?You swam/biked/ran HOW MANY miles today?! FABULOUS!!!) will go an incredibly long way in helping me complete this race. Your financial support will not only help save the lives of those afflicted with blood-related cancers, but make their lives more comfortable and manageable while they are fighting ? and winning against - the disease. Consider also that many of the strides that are made toward curing blood-related cancers translate into making a difference in fighting all types of cancers.

If you are so inspired to take up this tremendous cause, please feel free to share this email and request with anyone who might be inclined to help. EVERY contribution will have an impact, will be acknowledged personally by me, and will be appreciated by so very many. If you want to donate, you can do it on line at:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy

If you prefer to send a check, you may also submit one (payable to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society) to me. Then I complete the Check Donation section of the Participant Donor Form for all check contributions to ensure proper acknowledgment of gift and you will receive a receipt for tax purposes - they will send it to you directly. (Please clarify which address and phone number you want me to report on the form).

You can check on my progress, send encouragement or donate again on my blog at:

http://shawntris.blogspot.com/

As part of my goal to get in shape, I?ve also joined Weight Watchers. At each weekly weigh in I will be donating $2 for each pound I lose, if you would like to match my pledge, or make another similar to this, please let me know. I?ll be updating my blog in this regard as well.

Finally, if you know someone who has been afflicted with a blood-related cancer, I would love to run in their honor as well. Please let me know their name(s) and I will be sure to wear a bracelet for them on race day.

Thank you for your support...

Shawn Mueller-Boddy
429 Chase Street
Mountain House, CA 95391

Shawn.mueller@gmail.com

"There?s no achievement without goals." ? Robert J. McKain

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Yes, as a matter of fact I AM crazy

Yes, as a matter of fact I AM crazy
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

I mentioned that I've been making a lot of plans, making a lot of changes and pretty much shaking up my life. This is one BIG one.

I am going to do a Triathlon. That's right - chubby, out of shape me is going to swim, bike run :) I'm doing the LavaMan in Hawaii in March of next year. Only five months away. But, to help me reach this dream I've joined the amazing folks at Team in Training. With their help, at 40 years old I will be crossing the finish line of my first triathlon. And I'm still terrified! :)

Well besides helping people like me do impossible things Team in Training also raises funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. People, we need to find a cure for these killer diseases. About 20 years ago we got the news that my 6 year old cousin had Leukemia. We fretted as she was treated and celebrated when she went home in remission. Nine years later it came back, and we all sat helplessly as her body lost the battle against this terrible disease. Any age seems 'too young to die' but 15? I look at my now 15 year old daughter and all the life that's ahead of her left to live - to think I could lose her to something that there may be a cure for!...

I know there are a lot of causes out there and we can't support all of them, but I would ask that if you can and will - please donate to support this one. And even if you don't donate, you are welcome to follow along on my blog! :) shawntris.blogspot.com/

Oh! and I've been thinking that maybe I would offer a print of one (or more) of my photos as a 'thank you' for people who donate. Any ideas or suggestions on what people would consider an appropriate and motivating 'thank you' are highly welcome!!

WW!?

Well, I've taken a whole new path :( What I'm doing just isn't doing it. I'm not accountable enough on my own - or even with just an online community - so I'm 'going live' Went to my first WW meeting in 17 years today. It was actually pretty good. This place has an amazing leader. I wasn't sure this was the thing for me when I signed up - but I had to do SOMETHING... but after meeting her I think it's going to be a good choice.

I'm still going to try to eat balanced Protien and Carbs... but with the help of a little face to face accountablity.

I've got other news too - but I'll wait until it's 'offical' to announce it - so stay tuned.

For the Boob

For the Boob
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

I know I haven't been around much. I haven't been losing but I haven't been gaining and that's a good start :|

But - since I have a blog I wanted to make sure that I did my part for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please, support the cause. My mother in law is a breast cancer survivor and I wholly support the search for the cure. As part of that I'm taking part in the 'boobie-thon'

so goto www.boobiethon.com make a donation - common guys and girls... support the boob! :)

One of the things that brightened my day

The Zoomies
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

So I wanted to share it with you ;)

A few hours later...

Yeah I'm feeling a bit better. I still feel a bit 'off' and I still feel like I have to work at feeling like I will be victorious some day. But it's not overwhelming anymore.

Thanks for letting me vent Blogger :)

Not feeling 'it'

Saturday's dissapointments
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

Last night I sat in my closet and cried.

I was trying to pull out clothes to wear for today and it hit me how much I hate getting dressed everyday. How much I had scanning my closet looking for something that didn't pinch, cling or gape. I looked over the rows of clothes sitting on the hangers and realized how little of it fit and how little of that the did fit I liked. One might expect a moment like that to motivate you but it just left me feeling so drained of any energy or motivation that it was all I could do to finish the task and drag myself into bed.

The feeling carried over into the morning. I could not seem to get my feet under me. I did my workout but there was no 'omph' to it. I felt like I was simply going through the motions. Yes, it was a good workout but there was no passion in it. What happened to the passion?? Instead what kept going through my head was "why am I doing this? it's not like it's going to do any good. I worked my ass off before and what happened? Nothing - back to the same ol' place. Nothing's changed..."

I don't know what I need to do to shake off these feelings. It could just be a monthly thing - who knows. I do know I'm tired of feeling this way, but at the same time the feelings are so draining that I don't have the energy to do anything about it. I feel like I'm stuck in this sick vicious circle.

In a way I feel like this drowning person who's just gone down for the third time. I feel the water closing in over my head. I struggle to swim, to breath even though theres no oxygen left to breath. I force myself to hope even though there's no real passion or fire behind that hope. It's like I hope because I have to. Because to stop hoping means to die.

And yet - I got up this morning and went to the gym. I had a good/wholesome shake for breakfast and an excellent post workout meal. I've got a great lunch packed and by my side. Deviating from my plan right now would require too much effort on my part. I've got no energy for effort.

Hopefully these feelings will pass. I may look at this in a day or in a week and go - what the hell was I writing about there?

I hope so.

As I warned when I came back to my blog - this isn't going to be all about successes. i'm going to blog when I'm up and when I'm down - I'm sorry if people get tired of my mood swings - of my whining of my constant struggle for inner peace about my outer appearance. But this is me in all my ugliness. And this is my blog. Yes I want you to like it to get something from it. But if you don't - as harsh as it sounds - too bad. This is about me and for me. I need to feel free to write about who/what and where I am at any given time.

I hope everyone's having a better life then me at the moment. :)

Things are going ok

Being kind to my contacts
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

Not perfect, not terrible, but OK. and I'm ok with that. I haven't hit the gym as often as I would like but I haven't been sitting 24x7. Food hasn't been perfect, but I've been eating with awareness. Working hard to avoid those 'what the hell' moments that turn into a month of binge eating.

I want to blog more/more often because I know it helps me keep on track. At the moment I have another goal beyond the numbers. I have a dress that I bought last year for the Christmas Party. At the time I bought it I needed to lose about 5 lbs to wear it. I didn't - I gained about 5 instead. I want to wear it for the party this year. I'm going to snap a picture of it so it's in my face for a reminder.

Shawn's Progress this week on traineo

How's Shawn getting on? Below is the summary of Shawn's progress this week on traineo. Remember its your job to help her reach his goals by reviewing her progress and keeping her motivated to reach her goal. Take a good look at her graphs and figures - especially the number of times she's logged in and her last logged weight date. If she has posted any comments on her progress be sure to read them carefully and try to address the areas where you feel she needs support from you.   Starting Weight: 232 lb Goal Weight: 130 lb Weight Lost to Date 4 lb Last logged Weight 11th September Sessions logged this week 3 98 lb to go Training Diet Ave. Daily Calories Burnt: 1,293 Ave. Daily Calories: 1,350 Weight Change Latest Comments Weekly Weight Change: 2 lb Shawn has not entered a comment this week. Click here to visit her homepage Add a comment to Shawn's profile page here to help motivate her towards her goals. As a member of her personal support network it's your job to keep accountable by sending her regular messages and comments. Don't forget to bookmark Shawn's profile page at http://Parttimemom.traineo.com Send a personal message Sign into my account   To stop receiving these emails simply click here to log into your account. You'll then be prompted to confirm that you want to stop receiving traineo motivator emails.

Victory

I was in the 'quick shop' a few minutes ago. I was picking up something to drink when the 'feast beast' raised it's ugly head.



"look at all those treats," it said "I should by one.". ("i" because it likes to pretend it's me")



I countered with thinking about the shame that would come with having to post a candy bar when it wasn't a free day.



It faught back with the thought that I didn't have to take a picture. Then I very clearly heard the words, "no one has to know".



That's been the running theme for the past two years. ' go ahead, eat, you're alone. no one will know.



There are so many things wrong with this idea. First that I'm considering doing something that I feel I need to hide from others. Do it or don't do it. Don't hide it!



Second, have I really hidden anything? I weigh 230 lbs. I really doubt anyone's been fooled by my secret eating.



But, most importantly, and the answer I gave today. "I would know"



The answer back floored me "so"



So? Has it ever been so clear that i'm dealing with a 'beast', that cares nothing about me? That cares nothing about my own self worth? That values others opinion over me over my own?



Although these exact thoughts didn't go through my mind some shadow of them must have because I got angry. In my mind I told that beast "stop it. I'm not getting any candy".



I grabbed my drink walked through the candy isle without pausing, paid for what I had came for and walked out.



If you've never had to battle the feast beast you probably have no idea what a victory this is. But trust me, it is.

091108 - 1242 c

091108 - 1242 c
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

1. Pina Colata Protein Shake - 217 c, 2. Vanilla Wheat - 240c, 3. Turkey Sandwich & Banana - 456c, 4. Arby's Roast Beaf - 420c

As I've become short of time - I've watched my food degrade to this *sigh*. I must take the time to plan and execute - pittiful

Recovering

Spent most of yesterday in a fog. 4 hours of sleep two days in a row... No amount of caffeine in the world would make me 'normal' after that. By the end of the day I had a pounding headache and felt sick to my stomach. I just wanted BED!!!

I kind of sleepwalked through the food thing so I forgot to take pictures even though I stuck on plan.

Breakfast (Pre workout) was a Chocolate Cherry Shake (frozen cherries, Protein Powder (PP), water, ice and cocoa powder (unsweetened)) - 196c

2nd Break (Post Workout) vanilla wheat (cream of wheat mixed with PP)- 240c

Lunch was going to be my left over salad from yesterday - when I went to eat it it was just too gross! so I ate the hard boiled eggs and then had what was supposed to be my snack a banana and a cheese stick - 421c

About an hour before quitting time I was exhausted and starving, I felt like I was barely hanging on. My mind kept dwelling on the chocolate in the other office. I dug through the tiny bit of stash I had here in the office (cause I had no money) and found some granola. Not the best but certainly not the worse. It was whole grains at least. total cals: 240.

When hubby finally got here at 6:00PM I was still so hungry. Grabbed a Pro-Max bar 290c.

I got home and as I said felt like crap. My headache and upset stomach had erased any remaining hunger I had. I finished the day at 1380calories and no will to go to the gym. I crashed.

I woke up this morning and my headache was gone at least. I was starving though and quickly took care of that with a shake. didn't go to the gym this morning - I just need the sleep too much. I'm planning on hitting it tonight instead.

The best part? was 228.1 - another pound gone. 4.3 lbs total lost. Only 98 to go :|

No struggles as yet. Haven't worked out as much as I would like but the foods been right on. I feel like I'm making progress and that's what's important.

The water weight is dropping and I'm sure some fat too. I do feel better. I was so bloated and sluggish before. Even though I haven't lost much fat I feel better just because my body isn't so toxic. tomorrow's the official weigh in for week one, can't wait to see what the results are.

Did it again!

Made it to the gym this AM. Was an OK workout. 20 minute walk on the tredmill (for 1 mile) to try to loosen up the legs and then an abbreviated chest day. Still working into full workouts but it feels good to be getting there and getting it done.

Oh and the scale is finally showing a little movement to match the effort. Yay!

Too tired to do more then post stats at the moment - will post more brain content later, I promise.

And for the record - now Officially UNDER 230

229.1 to be exact... yay! :) :) :) :)

Food 090908 - 1328c

Food 090908 - 1328c
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

1. Pina Colata Protein Shake - 217 c, 2. ProMax Bar (Again) - 290c, 3. Salad - 313, 4. IMG_0319

Not enough food for the amount of working out I did... 1.66 mile Run, 5 Mile Bike, 150 Meter Swim, Plus three sets of squats... forgot my lunches in the car and had to improvise - not bad for improvising :)

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

I know, so soon after my happy happy joy joy post!

But Crap I mean ... GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! I would be saying worse but I try to keep this blog PG13 :P

I forgot my freaking lunch(s) in the car! And my car is many miles away. All that prep work last night?! Out the window. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

Much grinding of teeth and kicking of feet going on right now. And trying to figure out how to recover.

I guess I'm off to the store to buy a Meal Replacement Bar. And I'll have to hit the salad bar for lunch... bah!

woooo hooooo!

Ok - maybe I'm just on a caffeine high, but I feel so good this morning. I haven't felt this good in the AM in... well since as long as I can remember.

First, I stayed up until almost 12:00 AM last night because I wanted to have everything set out, ready and perfect for this morning. THEN -- when the alarm went off at 4:00 AM we actually got out of bed. Ok - it was more like 4:30 AM when we got out of bed, but we got out! Threw my shake makings into the blender, drank it, took my vitamins and then downed 1/2 a red line :) (told you it might be a caffeine high).

We then piled into the car and drove a hour to the SF gym. Since we were running late we didn't get a full workout in, but we got a workout in. In the morning! that hasn't happened in a LONG time. Better yet, I hit the treadmill first and did 30 minutes of run/walking (1.66 miles). Then we did one set of Squats. I hit the shower feeling like a million bucks!! It's the first time I've run on a treadmill in over a year. Now I remember why I like it so much. I don't know why I'm able to push myself more while I'm on the treaddy but I can - and it felt GREAT. (yes I'm overusing all caps and exclamation points because I feel - fantastic and I want everyone to know it). At this moment I can't wait to get up and do it again tomorrow - I hope this lasts. I was on such a roll when we were getting up early every day.

Also - entered all my calories for the past few days last night and turns out I didn't do half bad over the weekend. Yeah carbs and fat were high, but over all calories - not so bad. That makes me happy.

Yesterday, getting and staying on track was easy and I was glad of that. Was a easy mellow day with no food cravings at all. Wish they could all be like that.

Alright - time to go enter all my fitness stuff into all the appropriate places.

Oh - and for squats

4 x 165
4 x 165
12 x 165

Yes - I'm starting slow and easy. I want to be able to workout again tomorrow ;)

Food 090808 - 1480 Cal

Food 090808 - 1480 Cal
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

1. Eggs and Waffles - 273c, 2. Promax (yum!) - 290c, 3. Chicken and Bean Salad - 199c, 4. Boiled Eggs and Pineapple - 303c, 5. PBJ & brownie - 415c, 6. Sorry Folks

Yes - I know meal three is an empty bowl... :( forgot to take the photo before eating...

Had a good day. Could have been disasterous at the end of the day. Hubby decided at the last minute to go bowling... I skipped the fries and ate the snack I brought with me. When we got home though I was tired and really wanted to just eat whatever was handy. I at least took the time to make a semi healthy sandwich. Now time for bed!

Ok - it's not offical

I'm too late to join the last BFL challenge of the year, but I like having a 'hard date' and since I started on Sept 4/5 and the 'offical' start date was Sept 3, I thought it would be fun to see how I would have done on this challenge had I entered...

Google Reader?

I just discovered Google Reader! OMG why didn't I know about this sooner!? it's so wonderful!! and so much easier to keep up with everyone!

Food 090708

Food 090708
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

So I was a little less focused this day. Didn't plan ahead and it showed.

Morning was Breakfast Buffet. I have to say Breakfast food is some of my favorite. I started with a plate full of eggs, sausage, bacon, tator tots, crescent, and french toast. Then I went back again and Had fruit, cream of wheat and a little more bacon and sausage. I will say that I was proud of one thing. Other then the crescent I completely avoided the paistry table and man was there a lot of it.

I ate so much though that I wasn't really hungry the rest of the day. I picked up a Musketeers (mint) at Frys on the road. then had a snack of cheese and a banana. Later when it came time for dinner I wasn't up for cooking anything, and I really still was craving sweets so I whipped up a shake. And MAAAAAAAAAN was it good

Again I found that a splurge - free meal - whatever you want to call it really made it hard to focus back on 'good food'. Will have to watch that always in the future.