It's time

Time to stick to a plan - to make a difference - to stop wishing things would change and CHANGE them.

And here's what I've done...

Through Peertrainer I found a place called StickK

At StickK you have the ability to create goals and attach leverage to them. Leverage - as in Money. So I created my goal and gave them my credit card. As of today - if I don't reach my weekly weight loss goal each week (it's modest don't worry) I have to pay $100!! and that money goes to a Charity that I don't personally/morally support.

So that part is done -- now to take the daily steps to make sure I hit those goals!

Tonight I'll take my beginning photos and measurements.

I've already done my exercise for the day - 30 minutes Run/Walk.

The cardio goals are easy right now - all part of my training for my triathlon.

Food -- well as always it's my biggest issue isn't it though?

Well first off I'm going through Dr Becks book again - I love her mental take on food.

As for a food plan...

A part of me says, pick an 'experts' plan and stick with it. But the other part of me wants to take a the best of all I've read and apply it. Since at some point I want to be able to go through this same process with clients (as a personal trainer and more) then I think I'll just have to make a go of my 'hybrid'.

1. Eat at least 4 meals a day 5 is ideal
2. Each Meal should be (close to) equal Protein and Carbs
3. Each Food item should be less then 30% Fat
(If greater then 30% Fat then entire meal should be less then 15% Carb - to allow for a meal of nuts)
4. Whole Foods should be eaten the majority (80%) of the time (Whole Wheat, Brown Rice, etc)
5. Eat at least 4 servings of vegetables (Lettuce is not a vegetable)
6. Eat at least 2 servings of fruit
7. Have one spurge meal per 7 days

At the moment I'm not going to count calories. I think what I'll do is see how I'm doing on Monday mornings - if I'm not on track then I'll probably see if a calorie restriction is in order.

Ok - too tired to think anymore. Will type more later.

It's getting close

I've gotten my registration confirmation for Lavaman - it gets more 'real' every day. Our training now includes 45 minute runs and over two hours on the bike! I've braved the waters of the San Francisco Bay, learned to swim in a wet suit and have missed unclipping out of my bike twice and have crashed twice now (you should see the lovely bruises I have!).

I'm doing what I set out to do and I'm really excited about it. Or 1/2 of what I set out to do. You see, I have only raised $1000 of the $5000 I have pledged to raise for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. I need your help to reach this goal! Please don't think that your donation 'doesn't matter'. Every dollar counts!

My race is in 39 days and there is several ways you can help.

1) You can make a donation by credit card by going to my donation site and clicking the 'donate now' button.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy

2) You can make a donation by check, made out to the LLS and mail it to me

Shawn Mueller-Boddy
429 Chase Street
Mountain House, CA 95391

3) You can attend a fund raiser - if you're anywhere the SF area you can come to The Mint in San Francisco and join us for a night of Karaoke. (email me if you want more details)

Last, but not least, thank you to everyone who's made a donation so for - I can't tell you how much your generosity means to me and to the people you're helping.

Shawn

______________________________________________________________________
This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.
For more information please visit http://www.messagelabs.com/email
______________________________________________________________________

Update: I did it! I finished a Tri!

Hello everyone ? Here?s an update for you all?

Last Saturday was a momentous occasion. Not only did it mark the way point of our training for the Lavaman Triathlon in HI, but I also participated in and finished my first triathlon!

Saturday was the 7th annual LOUIE BONPUA TRIATHLON on treasure island. The Iron Team joined us for this event, but while they did an Olympic Triathlon (the length we?ll be doing in March), we did a Sprint. That means that we swam .25 miles, biked 13 miles and ran 3. And I finished! I was tired I was sore but oh so happy to cross that finish line!

Doing all of this has meant stepping out of my comfort zone athletically, but now it's time to step out more and ask for donations. Believe it or not, this is the hardest part. I'm not use to asking for money and I know that times are hard right now. But I need your help as so do those battling blood cancers. I am committed to raise $5,000. This is a lot of money, but it's dispersed efficiently: 75% to Program Services: professional and public education, patient and community service and research and 25% for training and the event. As you can see below, any size donation helps.

$1,000 supports one week's salary for a medical researcher at UCSF, Stanford, or Berkeley who may discover key information to developing curative treatments for blood cancers.

$500 provides a blood cancer patient with financial assistance for one year to help with transportation and co-pays or allows 10 patients to log on to a webcast and hear the latest information in treatment for their disease.

$200 funds one Family Support Group meeting of 9-15 participants -- the SF Bay Area chapter has 9 monthly support group meetings.

$150 allows 5 patients to make a First Connection with a trained peer volunteer.

$100 provides 3 patients access to an information teleconference.

$75 is the average cost of tissue typing to become a bone marrow donor.

$50 is the cost of a CT scan

$40 is the cost of sending a comprehensive packet of information for children with cancer.

$35 pays for transportation expenses for a patient living in Northern California's most rural areas to treatment at a comprehensive cancer center.

$25 covers a single prescription co-payment.

$5 is the cost of sending a newly diagnosed patient information about support and their disease.

All donations are tax deductible and any amount you give gets me closer to my commitment and finding a cure. So far I?ve raised 1,000 of the $5,000 I committed to. What happens if I don't reach $5,000 you ask? It comes out of my pocket.

As I said, I know times are rough, but donations can be split up. For example if you would like to donate $50, but only allocate so much for extras per month, spread it out over the next three months. Actually, giving makes you feel good, so wouldn't you like to give three times instead of just once?

Once again, thank you to everyone who?s already donated. You support has meant so much to me. The generosity of the various online communities has been beyond my imagination ? thank you all.

And now for the details:

If you wish to donate online you can do so here:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy

If you wish to write a check, please make it out to the Leukemia Lymphoma society and mail it to me:

Shawn Mueller-Boddy
429 Chase Street
Mountain House, CA

Thank you again

Shawn

______________________________________________________________________
This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.
For more information please visit http://www.messagelabs.com/email
______________________________________________________________________

Training's in Full Swing Again

Today I had to make a big decision. Do I take a chance and 'recommit' to doing this triathlon and to raising $5000 before March 27th? Or do I bail out?

Having raised less then $500 in the past two months it's been a little daunting to think about $4500 more, and the training... well it's time consuming. It takes a lot away from my family. So what to do?



After thinking about it, praying about it and talking it over with my family I decided to step out on faith. I signed and faxed the re commitment paperwork today. I'm in...

And I swam 1.1 miles tonight ;)

If you want to help me reach my goal, as well as help fine a cure for blood cancers - please make a donation at: pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy

or just cheer me on at:

www.shawntris.com

(P.S.) I've gotten your tags guys - I'm working on following through on them! :)

It's my Birthday!

That's right - the big day has arrived - I am now offically 40.

As you know, I had two major goals with my birthday. One was to fianlly completel triathlon, and the other was to do something outside myself. Give something of myself to others. I found a way to do both. In March I will be doing the Lavaman triathlon in Hawaii - for myself and to raise money for the Lukemia Lymphomia Society.

And because of this I would like to ask you all for a very special birthday present. I would like to raise $2000 before the end of January. And you can help. You see, this email is going out to almost 200 friends and family. If each person donates just $10 (That's one day's lunch here in San Francisco) we could easily get to that $2000 mark. That's not to say that you need to donate $10 - any amount would be greatly appreciated.

Those who have already donated so generously - Thank you!

I Hope everyone has a Happy New Year

Shawn

______________________________________________________________________
This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.
For more information please visit http://www.messagelabs.com/email
______________________________________________________________________

Hurry Hurry! Time is running Out!

Time is quickly running out on this once in a lifetime opportunity to save money on your 2008 taxes!

"How can I do that?" you ask?

It's simple, go to http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy and make a donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS)! That's right, not only will your donation to the LLS give the special gift of hope to the 138,000 people in the United States who were diagnosed with leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma in 2008, but you'll also be saving money on your taxes! 100% of your donation is tax deductable!

And that's not all! Donate now, and you'll earn the right to wear or display these amazing badges for as many days as you like!

"How much will this tremendous offer cost me?" you ask?

That's entirely up to you, but here are a few suggestions.

$5.00 --- $1 for every month I'll be training for the Lavaman triathlon with Team in Training.

$25.00 --- $5 for every month I'll be training (I get up at 6:30AM ... on SATURDAYS to make it to training most weekends)

$40.00 --- $1 for every year of my life at the time of my race (My birthday is January 4th and a donation would be the PERFECT birthday gift)

$50.00 --- $1 for every pound I plan to lose before race day

$100.00 --- $2 for every pound I plan to lose before race day (talk about extra insentive for me!)

$500.00 --- $500 for keeping Uncle Sam out of your pocket book - even just a little

$5,000.00 --- $5000 for me to get off the computer, stop sending emails and just TRAIN already!

Thank you once again to everyone who's already donated. Thanks to you I am 6% of the way toward my fund raising goal. You too are welcome to print out a badge and show the world what you're made of!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3295/3095492443_719a31c23d_o.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3224/3095500169_de971c2523_o.jpg

Remember, you can also track my progress at http://www.shawntris.com/

I've Swam/Biked/Ran over 60 miles already! Come on in and cheer me on!

P.S. - you are welcome to send a donation by check too. Just make it out to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and address it to:

Shawn Mueller-Boddy
429 Chase Street
Mountain House, CA 95391

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving, has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Shawn

______________________________________________________________________
This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.
For more information please visit http://www.messagelabs.com/email
______________________________________________________________________

Holiday Gifts that Give Back

'tis the season for Christmas Shopping and the folks at iGive.com are making the season doubly bright!

This holiday season, send a gift that means an automatic donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society! When you shop at any of over 700 participating online stores through iGive, a portion of each purchase is donated to the fight against blood cancers!
It's free for you, and you pay the same (or less!) than you would by going directly to the store. Shopping online means no wasted gas and no more standing in long lines at the mall.

Save money, save time, and send gifts that give twice. What could be better than that?

Sign up at:

www.iGive.com/SAMBoddy

or you can begin shopping and searching by going here:

http://isearch.igive.com/SAMBoddy

The best part is it's stores you were probably planning on visiting anyway:

American Eagle Outfitters
Ann Taylor - LOFT
Toys R Us
Best Buy
eBAY

even TurboTax!

Of course I'm always willing to recieve donations the 'old fashioned' way:

You can visit my fund raising page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy

or mail a check made out to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to:

Shawn Mueller-Boddy
429 Chase Street
Mountain House, CA 95391

Happy Holidays everyone - I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving Holiday.

-Shawn

______________________________________________________________________
This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.
For more information please visit http://www.messagelabs.com/email
______________________________________________________________________

Tri Training Update - 11/09/08

Hello again friends and family,

I just wanted to send a quick email to let you know how things have been going for me with my training. As you know I am working with Team in Training to do the Lavaman Triathlon in March, and I?m fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

Yesterday we kicked off the Team in Training winter season. It was so amazing to meet and talk to so many people who are all working toward the same goals: get into shape, run a triathlon and find a cure for blood cancers.

Although I?ve been training up till now, with the kick-off, I started training in earnest today. I did my first ?actual? training run, outside, in preparation for the six mile run that will be part of the triathlon. I won?t kid you, it was hard; probably one the hardest of season, but I made it through and I?m so happy to feel as though I?ve made that first giant leap onto the path toward my goals. It?s hard to believe that the woman I was today, huffy and puffing along my neighborhood sidewalks in my baggy sweatshirt will very soon be left behind.

On the fundraising front, so far I?ve raised $150 of the $5000 I?ve pledged. And I want to thank everyone who has donated already. Your continued encouragement and faith in my ability to accomplish my fitness and fundraising goals are more than I could hope for. I hope others will find it in your heart to contribute to the fight against Leukemia and blood related cancers. Your donation can make a difference in someone?s life. May you realize success in your own endeavors, and may we all go the distance. Thank you for your generous support.

Please click on the link below to go directly to my personal fundraising page. No amount is too small. Every dime makes a difference.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy

You can track my ongoing progress at:

http://www.shawntris.com

If you would rather send a check, please send it to:
(payable to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society)
Shawn Mueller
429 Chase Street
Mountain House, CA 95391

P.S. I would appreciate it if you would forward this email to as many people as you can to encourage them to donate as well. Thanks again.

Shawn

______________________________________________________________________
This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.
For more information please visit http://www.messagelabs.com/email
______________________________________________________________________

Help us Save Lives

Dear Family and Friends,

I have some big news to share?
Believe it or not, I'm going to swim/bike/run in the Lavaman Triathlon in Kona, HI on March 29, 2009. Think I?m crazy? Truth be told, you may not be so far off the mark! I'm not in really great shape. (ok, I?m in terrible shape) My feet aren't so good and sometimes I run out of breath walking up the stairs in my house! As of right now, I can't run very far or for a very long time. Luckily I?m ?okay? on a bike and you who?ve known me since I was small know I?m a fish in the water. Still, 31.9 miles seems like a really long way to go. (That?s .9 mile swim, 24.8 mile bike and 6.3 mile run) I mean, really really long (try watching your car's odometer on a trip until you hit 31.9 miles - it's far!). So, am I crazy? Well, a couple of very sane reasons are driving my decision to run:

The first is that as I approach my 40th birthday I want to focus on two things. One is that I want to get into good shape and the other is that I want to focus on things outside myself and one way to do that is to give something to a worthy cause. What I have discovered is an incredible opportunity to do both things at one time!

I have signed up with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program. Through this program, I will not just be running for myself, but in support of an organization that is dedicated to curing lymphoma, Hodgkin?s disease and myeloma and improving the lives of patients and their families. In exchange for fundraising, the Society will help me train for the race, provide coaching and medical guidance, and will put me together with others of similar skills. Specifically, I will be training in honor of Katy Mueller, my cousin who died of Leukemia when she was only 15 years old.

Thinking about how fortunate I am and learning about how these diseases affect families (the stories are incredible), it has made one very important thing clear to me: you can never take anything for granted. Your life can change on the drop of a dime; it's important to seize the opportunity to make a difference when you can.

So here I am, seizing my opportunity. My goals are two-fold: one, to cross the finish line of the Lavaman Triathlon on March 29th. (even if I have to crawl to do it!); and two, to raise $5,000 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I'm hoping you will be able to help me with both of these goals.

Your encouragement and positive reinforcement (i.e., ?You swam/biked/ran HOW MANY miles today?! FABULOUS!!!) will go an incredibly long way in helping me complete this race. Your financial support will not only help save the lives of those afflicted with blood-related cancers, but make their lives more comfortable and manageable while they are fighting ? and winning against - the disease. Consider also that many of the strides that are made toward curing blood-related cancers translate into making a difference in fighting all types of cancers.

If you are so inspired to take up this tremendous cause, please feel free to share this email and request with anyone who might be inclined to help. EVERY contribution will have an impact, will be acknowledged personally by me, and will be appreciated by so very many. If you want to donate, you can do it on line at:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/lavatri09/smuellerboddy

If you prefer to send a check, you may also submit one (payable to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society) to me. Then I complete the Check Donation section of the Participant Donor Form for all check contributions to ensure proper acknowledgment of gift and you will receive a receipt for tax purposes - they will send it to you directly. (Please clarify which address and phone number you want me to report on the form).

You can check on my progress, send encouragement or donate again on my blog at:

http://shawntris.blogspot.com/

As part of my goal to get in shape, I?ve also joined Weight Watchers. At each weekly weigh in I will be donating $2 for each pound I lose, if you would like to match my pledge, or make another similar to this, please let me know. I?ll be updating my blog in this regard as well.

Finally, if you know someone who has been afflicted with a blood-related cancer, I would love to run in their honor as well. Please let me know their name(s) and I will be sure to wear a bracelet for them on race day.

Thank you for your support...

Shawn Mueller-Boddy
429 Chase Street
Mountain House, CA 95391

Shawn.mueller@gmail.com

"There?s no achievement without goals." ? Robert J. McKain

______________________________________________________________________
This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.
For more information please visit http://www.messagelabs.com/email
______________________________________________________________________

Yes, as a matter of fact I AM crazy

Yes, as a matter of fact I AM crazy
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

I mentioned that I've been making a lot of plans, making a lot of changes and pretty much shaking up my life. This is one BIG one.

I am going to do a Triathlon. That's right - chubby, out of shape me is going to swim, bike run :) I'm doing the LavaMan in Hawaii in March of next year. Only five months away. But, to help me reach this dream I've joined the amazing folks at Team in Training. With their help, at 40 years old I will be crossing the finish line of my first triathlon. And I'm still terrified! :)

Well besides helping people like me do impossible things Team in Training also raises funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. People, we need to find a cure for these killer diseases. About 20 years ago we got the news that my 6 year old cousin had Leukemia. We fretted as she was treated and celebrated when she went home in remission. Nine years later it came back, and we all sat helplessly as her body lost the battle against this terrible disease. Any age seems 'too young to die' but 15? I look at my now 15 year old daughter and all the life that's ahead of her left to live - to think I could lose her to something that there may be a cure for!...

I know there are a lot of causes out there and we can't support all of them, but I would ask that if you can and will - please donate to support this one. And even if you don't donate, you are welcome to follow along on my blog! :) shawntris.blogspot.com/

Oh! and I've been thinking that maybe I would offer a print of one (or more) of my photos as a 'thank you' for people who donate. Any ideas or suggestions on what people would consider an appropriate and motivating 'thank you' are highly welcome!!

WW!?

Well, I've taken a whole new path :( What I'm doing just isn't doing it. I'm not accountable enough on my own - or even with just an online community - so I'm 'going live' Went to my first WW meeting in 17 years today. It was actually pretty good. This place has an amazing leader. I wasn't sure this was the thing for me when I signed up - but I had to do SOMETHING... but after meeting her I think it's going to be a good choice.

I'm still going to try to eat balanced Protien and Carbs... but with the help of a little face to face accountablity.

I've got other news too - but I'll wait until it's 'offical' to announce it - so stay tuned.

For the Boob

For the Boob
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

I know I haven't been around much. I haven't been losing but I haven't been gaining and that's a good start :|

But - since I have a blog I wanted to make sure that I did my part for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please, support the cause. My mother in law is a breast cancer survivor and I wholly support the search for the cure. As part of that I'm taking part in the 'boobie-thon'

so goto www.boobiethon.com make a donation - common guys and girls... support the boob! :)

One of the things that brightened my day

The Zoomies
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

So I wanted to share it with you ;)

A few hours later...

Yeah I'm feeling a bit better. I still feel a bit 'off' and I still feel like I have to work at feeling like I will be victorious some day. But it's not overwhelming anymore.

Thanks for letting me vent Blogger :)

Not feeling 'it'

Saturday's dissapointments
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

Last night I sat in my closet and cried.

I was trying to pull out clothes to wear for today and it hit me how much I hate getting dressed everyday. How much I had scanning my closet looking for something that didn't pinch, cling or gape. I looked over the rows of clothes sitting on the hangers and realized how little of it fit and how little of that the did fit I liked. One might expect a moment like that to motivate you but it just left me feeling so drained of any energy or motivation that it was all I could do to finish the task and drag myself into bed.

The feeling carried over into the morning. I could not seem to get my feet under me. I did my workout but there was no 'omph' to it. I felt like I was simply going through the motions. Yes, it was a good workout but there was no passion in it. What happened to the passion?? Instead what kept going through my head was "why am I doing this? it's not like it's going to do any good. I worked my ass off before and what happened? Nothing - back to the same ol' place. Nothing's changed..."

I don't know what I need to do to shake off these feelings. It could just be a monthly thing - who knows. I do know I'm tired of feeling this way, but at the same time the feelings are so draining that I don't have the energy to do anything about it. I feel like I'm stuck in this sick vicious circle.

In a way I feel like this drowning person who's just gone down for the third time. I feel the water closing in over my head. I struggle to swim, to breath even though theres no oxygen left to breath. I force myself to hope even though there's no real passion or fire behind that hope. It's like I hope because I have to. Because to stop hoping means to die.

And yet - I got up this morning and went to the gym. I had a good/wholesome shake for breakfast and an excellent post workout meal. I've got a great lunch packed and by my side. Deviating from my plan right now would require too much effort on my part. I've got no energy for effort.

Hopefully these feelings will pass. I may look at this in a day or in a week and go - what the hell was I writing about there?

I hope so.

As I warned when I came back to my blog - this isn't going to be all about successes. i'm going to blog when I'm up and when I'm down - I'm sorry if people get tired of my mood swings - of my whining of my constant struggle for inner peace about my outer appearance. But this is me in all my ugliness. And this is my blog. Yes I want you to like it to get something from it. But if you don't - as harsh as it sounds - too bad. This is about me and for me. I need to feel free to write about who/what and where I am at any given time.

I hope everyone's having a better life then me at the moment. :)

Things are going ok

Being kind to my contacts
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

Not perfect, not terrible, but OK. and I'm ok with that. I haven't hit the gym as often as I would like but I haven't been sitting 24x7. Food hasn't been perfect, but I've been eating with awareness. Working hard to avoid those 'what the hell' moments that turn into a month of binge eating.

I want to blog more/more often because I know it helps me keep on track. At the moment I have another goal beyond the numbers. I have a dress that I bought last year for the Christmas Party. At the time I bought it I needed to lose about 5 lbs to wear it. I didn't - I gained about 5 instead. I want to wear it for the party this year. I'm going to snap a picture of it so it's in my face for a reminder.

Shawn's Progress this week on traineo

How's Shawn getting on? Below is the summary of Shawn's progress this week on traineo. Remember its your job to help her reach his goals by reviewing her progress and keeping her motivated to reach her goal. Take a good look at her graphs and figures - especially the number of times she's logged in and her last logged weight date. If she has posted any comments on her progress be sure to read them carefully and try to address the areas where you feel she needs support from you.   Starting Weight: 232 lb Goal Weight: 130 lb Weight Lost to Date 4 lb Last logged Weight 11th September Sessions logged this week 3 98 lb to go Training Diet Ave. Daily Calories Burnt: 1,293 Ave. Daily Calories: 1,350 Weight Change Latest Comments Weekly Weight Change: 2 lb Shawn has not entered a comment this week. Click here to visit her homepage Add a comment to Shawn's profile page here to help motivate her towards her goals. As a member of her personal support network it's your job to keep accountable by sending her regular messages and comments. Don't forget to bookmark Shawn's profile page at http://Parttimemom.traineo.com Send a personal message Sign into my account   To stop receiving these emails simply click here to log into your account. You'll then be prompted to confirm that you want to stop receiving traineo motivator emails.

Victory

I was in the 'quick shop' a few minutes ago. I was picking up something to drink when the 'feast beast' raised it's ugly head.



"look at all those treats," it said "I should by one.". ("i" because it likes to pretend it's me")



I countered with thinking about the shame that would come with having to post a candy bar when it wasn't a free day.



It faught back with the thought that I didn't have to take a picture. Then I very clearly heard the words, "no one has to know".



That's been the running theme for the past two years. ' go ahead, eat, you're alone. no one will know.



There are so many things wrong with this idea. First that I'm considering doing something that I feel I need to hide from others. Do it or don't do it. Don't hide it!



Second, have I really hidden anything? I weigh 230 lbs. I really doubt anyone's been fooled by my secret eating.



But, most importantly, and the answer I gave today. "I would know"



The answer back floored me "so"



So? Has it ever been so clear that i'm dealing with a 'beast', that cares nothing about me? That cares nothing about my own self worth? That values others opinion over me over my own?



Although these exact thoughts didn't go through my mind some shadow of them must have because I got angry. In my mind I told that beast "stop it. I'm not getting any candy".



I grabbed my drink walked through the candy isle without pausing, paid for what I had came for and walked out.



If you've never had to battle the feast beast you probably have no idea what a victory this is. But trust me, it is.

091108 - 1242 c

091108 - 1242 c
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

1. Pina Colata Protein Shake - 217 c, 2. Vanilla Wheat - 240c, 3. Turkey Sandwich & Banana - 456c, 4. Arby's Roast Beaf - 420c

As I've become short of time - I've watched my food degrade to this *sigh*. I must take the time to plan and execute - pittiful

Recovering

Spent most of yesterday in a fog. 4 hours of sleep two days in a row... No amount of caffeine in the world would make me 'normal' after that. By the end of the day I had a pounding headache and felt sick to my stomach. I just wanted BED!!!

I kind of sleepwalked through the food thing so I forgot to take pictures even though I stuck on plan.

Breakfast (Pre workout) was a Chocolate Cherry Shake (frozen cherries, Protein Powder (PP), water, ice and cocoa powder (unsweetened)) - 196c

2nd Break (Post Workout) vanilla wheat (cream of wheat mixed with PP)- 240c

Lunch was going to be my left over salad from yesterday - when I went to eat it it was just too gross! so I ate the hard boiled eggs and then had what was supposed to be my snack a banana and a cheese stick - 421c

About an hour before quitting time I was exhausted and starving, I felt like I was barely hanging on. My mind kept dwelling on the chocolate in the other office. I dug through the tiny bit of stash I had here in the office (cause I had no money) and found some granola. Not the best but certainly not the worse. It was whole grains at least. total cals: 240.

When hubby finally got here at 6:00PM I was still so hungry. Grabbed a Pro-Max bar 290c.

I got home and as I said felt like crap. My headache and upset stomach had erased any remaining hunger I had. I finished the day at 1380calories and no will to go to the gym. I crashed.

I woke up this morning and my headache was gone at least. I was starving though and quickly took care of that with a shake. didn't go to the gym this morning - I just need the sleep too much. I'm planning on hitting it tonight instead.

The best part? was 228.1 - another pound gone. 4.3 lbs total lost. Only 98 to go :|

No struggles as yet. Haven't worked out as much as I would like but the foods been right on. I feel like I'm making progress and that's what's important.

The water weight is dropping and I'm sure some fat too. I do feel better. I was so bloated and sluggish before. Even though I haven't lost much fat I feel better just because my body isn't so toxic. tomorrow's the official weigh in for week one, can't wait to see what the results are.

Did it again!

Made it to the gym this AM. Was an OK workout. 20 minute walk on the tredmill (for 1 mile) to try to loosen up the legs and then an abbreviated chest day. Still working into full workouts but it feels good to be getting there and getting it done.

Oh and the scale is finally showing a little movement to match the effort. Yay!

Too tired to do more then post stats at the moment - will post more brain content later, I promise.

And for the record - now Officially UNDER 230

229.1 to be exact... yay! :) :) :) :)

Food 090908 - 1328c

Food 090908 - 1328c
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

1. Pina Colata Protein Shake - 217 c, 2. ProMax Bar (Again) - 290c, 3. Salad - 313, 4. IMG_0319

Not enough food for the amount of working out I did... 1.66 mile Run, 5 Mile Bike, 150 Meter Swim, Plus three sets of squats... forgot my lunches in the car and had to improvise - not bad for improvising :)

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

I know, so soon after my happy happy joy joy post!

But Crap I mean ... GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! I would be saying worse but I try to keep this blog PG13 :P

I forgot my freaking lunch(s) in the car! And my car is many miles away. All that prep work last night?! Out the window. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

Much grinding of teeth and kicking of feet going on right now. And trying to figure out how to recover.

I guess I'm off to the store to buy a Meal Replacement Bar. And I'll have to hit the salad bar for lunch... bah!

woooo hooooo!

Ok - maybe I'm just on a caffeine high, but I feel so good this morning. I haven't felt this good in the AM in... well since as long as I can remember.

First, I stayed up until almost 12:00 AM last night because I wanted to have everything set out, ready and perfect for this morning. THEN -- when the alarm went off at 4:00 AM we actually got out of bed. Ok - it was more like 4:30 AM when we got out of bed, but we got out! Threw my shake makings into the blender, drank it, took my vitamins and then downed 1/2 a red line :) (told you it might be a caffeine high).

We then piled into the car and drove a hour to the SF gym. Since we were running late we didn't get a full workout in, but we got a workout in. In the morning! that hasn't happened in a LONG time. Better yet, I hit the treadmill first and did 30 minutes of run/walking (1.66 miles). Then we did one set of Squats. I hit the shower feeling like a million bucks!! It's the first time I've run on a treadmill in over a year. Now I remember why I like it so much. I don't know why I'm able to push myself more while I'm on the treaddy but I can - and it felt GREAT. (yes I'm overusing all caps and exclamation points because I feel - fantastic and I want everyone to know it). At this moment I can't wait to get up and do it again tomorrow - I hope this lasts. I was on such a roll when we were getting up early every day.

Also - entered all my calories for the past few days last night and turns out I didn't do half bad over the weekend. Yeah carbs and fat were high, but over all calories - not so bad. That makes me happy.

Yesterday, getting and staying on track was easy and I was glad of that. Was a easy mellow day with no food cravings at all. Wish they could all be like that.

Alright - time to go enter all my fitness stuff into all the appropriate places.

Oh - and for squats

4 x 165
4 x 165
12 x 165

Yes - I'm starting slow and easy. I want to be able to workout again tomorrow ;)

Food 090808 - 1480 Cal

Food 090808 - 1480 Cal
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

1. Eggs and Waffles - 273c, 2. Promax (yum!) - 290c, 3. Chicken and Bean Salad - 199c, 4. Boiled Eggs and Pineapple - 303c, 5. PBJ & brownie - 415c, 6. Sorry Folks

Yes - I know meal three is an empty bowl... :( forgot to take the photo before eating...

Had a good day. Could have been disasterous at the end of the day. Hubby decided at the last minute to go bowling... I skipped the fries and ate the snack I brought with me. When we got home though I was tired and really wanted to just eat whatever was handy. I at least took the time to make a semi healthy sandwich. Now time for bed!

Ok - it's not offical

I'm too late to join the last BFL challenge of the year, but I like having a 'hard date' and since I started on Sept 4/5 and the 'offical' start date was Sept 3, I thought it would be fun to see how I would have done on this challenge had I entered...

Google Reader?

I just discovered Google Reader! OMG why didn't I know about this sooner!? it's so wonderful!! and so much easier to keep up with everyone!

Food 090708

Food 090708
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

So I was a little less focused this day. Didn't plan ahead and it showed.

Morning was Breakfast Buffet. I have to say Breakfast food is some of my favorite. I started with a plate full of eggs, sausage, bacon, tator tots, crescent, and french toast. Then I went back again and Had fruit, cream of wheat and a little more bacon and sausage. I will say that I was proud of one thing. Other then the crescent I completely avoided the paistry table and man was there a lot of it.

I ate so much though that I wasn't really hungry the rest of the day. I picked up a Musketeers (mint) at Frys on the road. then had a snack of cheese and a banana. Later when it came time for dinner I wasn't up for cooking anything, and I really still was craving sweets so I whipped up a shake. And MAAAAAAAAAN was it good

Again I found that a splurge - free meal - whatever you want to call it really made it hard to focus back on 'good food'. Will have to watch that always in the future.

Food 090608

Food 090609
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

'dieting' while on a trip can sometimes be a pain. I know this and so I tried to plan a little ahead. You see we were planning to go to Reno over the weekend and while I didn't want to feel deprived while I was there, I still wanted to make progress. Going on the BFL/EFL premise that every week should have a free day, I took a little liberty with the concept and make my free day 1/2 on Saturday and 1/2 on Sunday. This isn't a practice that I would make a habit, but knowing our schedule I thought I could make the most of my trip this way.

So... I started the day with a really nice breakfast of Spicy Omelet. Then I blended up a peanut butter and chocolate shake and put it in the 'to-go' cup. I also packed a sandwich and some carrots to take with me.

Because I had planned ahead, brought food and had already set in my mind what was going to be 'allowable' when we stopped a diner to have lunch, it was easy and I was happy to 'say no' to a burger and fries, knowing I had a nice sandwich waiting for me in the car.

Dinner was... yum yum yum. Rather then fill up on stuff just because I wanted to taste it I grabbed stuff I knew would be GREAT. I even threw some veggies on my plate to make a nicer 'rounder' meal.

I did the same at the desert table. Resisted the urge to put all the pies on my plate to 'sample' and just grabbed what I knew was my favorite.

all in all I felt very satisfied with the day. The only 'bad' part was later that night. After 'splurging' at dinner I really had to resist the urge to keep on eating. At a liquore store later I found myself starting to 'mentally graze' through the candy and nuts section. As soon as I figured out what I was doing I fixed my mind on other things and went on my way. It did really put things into perspective and made me even more aware as to how powerful the overeating (binging) habit is with me.

Oh God

No really - oh god... what have I done

Actually since I took these a few days ago I'm not feeling as bad about it as I should. But I'm willing and ready to forgive myself, move on, and make progress. time to stop whining about what used to be, what could have been and all that. Time to start moving forward.

And for my own sanity, I would like to point out that I am deliberately standing very relaxed in these photos - I don't normally 'let it all hang out' while walking around during the day.

Testing

Testing blogging from my phone... Too fun :)

Food 090508 - 1790

Food 090508 - 1790
Originally uploaded by SAMBoddy

Day 27/365

Day 27/365 - For Mike B and FGR, originally uploaded by SAMBoddy.

Forgot to blog this weeks Self Portrait

Alright let's make this offical!

Hi - I'm Shawn and I'm a food addict:)

But I'm not letting that define me.

Let start again - I'm a fit and healthy person stuck in the body of an unfit and unhealthy person (yeah I like that better).

Today I'm starting a transformation journey.

My current stats: 232 pounds. Yes I've said out loud. This is not the first time I've weighed this much, but I expect it to be the last. I'll not go through all the diet drama I've been through before now. You're welcome to check my blog archives for that. I'm looking forward now.

First Goal: 195 by 12/12

Yes that's aggressive but I believe it's wholly doable.

The plan - eating for life for now. I need simple, I need the appearance of non restrictive but I also need the structure of a solid 'plan'. Enough rules but not too many. I'm logging my food into fitday (pc version). but not restricting calories intentionally - yet.

Excercise - I keep setting really lofty goals for myself in this department and failing. So I'm torn :|

For now I'm going to take this a week at a time. This week's goals - minimum 3 days of weight training, 3 days running, 2 days swimming.

Simple :)

Expect more to come... hmm what's that? a flicker of hope? God wouldn't that be nice?

Updated the links today

yeah - I'm actually seriously doing some housekeeping on my blog. If I'm going to be here every day, I should spruce up a little eh?

Food 090408 - 1865c

First Day of the rest of my life... :) New commitment - new rules. Will post more later.

Actually yesterday was a trial run. Today's the official 'start date'

1. Egg Burrito 230c, 2. Raspberry Protein Shake 370c, 3. Ruben Pita 479c, 4. Banana and Orange Dip 348c, 5. Baked chicken and Pasta 383c, 6. Brownies - 56c

Self Portrate Tuesday

I like my boobs :), originally uploaded by SAMBoddy.

Apparently there's a new 'thing out there to post your picture to your blog on Tuesdays. so I'm jumping on the bandwagon. And, since I'm taking pictures every day and I'm going to start adding them to my blog - along with some tidbits on how things are going :) Regular check ins are now the 'thing' :)

I'm not dead yet

I wish I could delete this blog and pretend it never happened. Rather then be an inspiration it's a big ugly painting of the failure that is me - not just once but at least twice.

It makes it hard to start again. Hard not to look over the years, months of glowing "I've got it this time!" Only to know, I did 'got' it.

I fell, and I fell hard. I haven't stopped trying, but it's gotten harder and harder to continue to try. And it seems each attempted is shorter then the last.

I feel broken. What is wrong with me that I can come so close to ultimate success and then throw it away - repeatedly.

So, what's next for me? to keep trying... The very definition of insanity is to do the same things over and over again and expect different results. And yet, I do. Maybe I am insane - I certainly feel that way sometimes. I have no magic pill. No secret new plan or formula this time. I have no new kernal of hope that I'm clinging to with the knowledge that this 'thing' is what's different.

I've got nothing and it makes it really hard to even think about starting. But I have to start and I have to try and I have to keep trying because I refuse to believe that THIS is the best I can do. That this is the body and the life that I have to settle for.

I'm rambling, I know. I'm trying to put words to something that maybe isn't describle.

You don't have to read my blog - you don't have to believe that one day I'm going to beat this. You don't have to comment or cheer me on - although I appreciate those things when you do. But I need this place. I need to journal and to record the good the bad and the ugly. I need to be successful and document that - and I need to be unsuccessful and be able to vent about that as well.

So, if you are here and reading this, thank you. If you are looking for perfection: go away. If you are looking for inspiration: that might happen here, but don't blame me if you don't find it. I want to inspire but don't promise it. If you want real, honest, raw; sometimes funny, sometimes insiteful then stick around.

I missed you my blog! (and my blogger friends too).

Ahhh Monday

We had a good weekend. Ended up taking off Friday night and spend the weekend in Reno. Not because we're gamblers (spent a total of $20 on the slot machines and that was it) but because we wanted to get out of town and spend some time together. It was nice - just a little hard to live up to our honeymoon :)

I've been a little manic about my goals of late. Getting all on fire and charging forward and then dropping into the dolldrums and moaning about how much I've backslid while eating a slice of pizza to console myself :). Friday I was sorting through pictures and ran into my progress photos from last Thanksgiving. Boy did THAT depress me... then motivated me (told you I've been manic). I realized that I WANT MY MUSCLES BACK!! I had a big long talk with my honey. We set some new goals and some new stratagies. I reminded him that when I was making progress we made it to the gym NO MATTER WHAT. We whent on Saturdays, Sundays, afterwork - whatever it took to get the workouts in. I flat out told him that in order for me to see 'that body' again I'll need to be just as dedicated. He agreed. He's been frustrated with his own physique and realizes that it's going to take some hard work at the gym to see the results he wants as well. it was a nice to both be on the same page again.

So - Here's the new workout schedule.

Monday: Legs and Dance Class
Tuesday: Chest and 5K training run
Wednesday: Back and 20 min HIIT (probably bike)
Thursday: Shoulders, Triceps and 5k training run
Friday: Biceps, Abs and 20 min HIIT
Saturday: Core work, 5K training and last 20 min HIIT
Sunday: Rest (and I think I'll need it)

We'll do that for four weeks and see how it goes

Nutrition is 1400 cals per day with a 'loose' goal of C/P/F = 35%/45%/20%

Again this is for four weeks

Tonight after class I'm going to take measurments and photos. This is for real :)

And, to get myself out of bed in the mornings, I've now set up our annoying, loud (God I hate it) alarm clock and put it in the bathroom. It's so loud that it wakes me up in our room - and I have to get up, turn on a light and go into the bathroom to turn it off. Really hard to sleep through that! :)

I'm also working through the book 100 days of weight loss. I like it so far - I'll try and remember to review it when I'm finished. As I've said before I'm beyond believing that any program, any book or any anything is going to be a magic bullet for weight loss. It's going to be me - making it work, making the choices, walking the walk, living the lifestyle. That's not to say I don't still read books, check out programs and stuff like that. I learn new ideas and statagies with everyone I read and I believe every little scrap of information and motivation help. But in the end it comes down to me doing what I know is right.

One thing I've been telling myself of late that seems to be helping out a little is, when faced with a food choice instead of simply saying "I can't have that" I tell myself "I can't have that and lose wieght" that way I'm setting myself up with the idea that if I do choose to eat something - I'm chosing to stay where I'm at and not lose weight. So far it's done wonders for my attitude. It doesn't mean I make the "right" choice every time, but I'm certainly not fooling myself about what I'm doing, and when I choose for loss it keeps me focus on how that choice is bringing me closer to my goals and not on how 'deprived' I am. (poor me) :)

More baby steps towards lasting change - I really do believe.

So - today got off to a GREAT start. I was thrust out of bed by the annoying alarm clock in the bathroom and quickly dressed and was ready to hit the gym. Too bad it was 4:10 and the gym doesn't open until 5:00 on Mondays! :)

I had a nice hot breakfast, made a water bottle, checked that I had everything, snuggled with my honey for a few minutes on the couch, checked that I had everything (yeah had time to check twice) and finally left and made it to the gym.

As I said above it was leg day. Because it's been so long since we have had decent weight workout I had to really play with the numbers and figure out what I can lift currently. Trust me, it wasn't good :|


Squats: 165 x 6 x 3
Leg Press: 435 x 6 - 435 x 15 (need to raise the weight on this one)
Stiff Leg Deadlift: 130 x 6 x 2
Standing Calf: 180 x 8 x 3
Seated Calf: 90 x 8 - 125 x 8

I've a long way to go to be back in the shape I was, but I'm willing to do the work, and ready to see the results.

Another week in the bag

Well, the long weekend didn't go exactly as planned. It wasn't too bad either.

On Saturday my sweetheart and I walked down to the gym, had an amazing workout and then walked home. It was so nice!

We spent all day on Sunday walking around the scottish highland games. We watched the "Heavy Games" once again. They wern't nearly as exciting without Shannon Hartnett competing but still fun to watch. Shannon was there though and I was once again completely impressed and inspired.

Granted, she's MUCH bigger then I would want to be (and possably 'enhanced') but she does look amazing! and she does make me LONG to get my muscles back!

Food wise things wern't perfect, but much better then weekends before. Unfortunatly it's also that 'hormonal' time of the month and my body is holding onto every ounce of water it can - BLEH!

Since monday my eating has been spot on! Because of TTOM though I've yet to drop any weight. Well, and probably the fact that I haven't made it to the gym once this week either! I've just been completely exhausted all week, and I can't figure out why. Even after 8 hours of sleep I'm struggling to pull myself out of bed. I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I'm certainly going to hit the gym on Saturday. Sunday though is my 1 year anniversary and I plan on spending it having a great time with my sweetheart.

Anyway - not much else to report here. plodding along, feeling a flicker of drive now and then and then falling back into a bleek black mood. I know if I stick with it I'll find my stride once more. I just wish it would come sooner rather then later.

Quickupdate before the long weekend

Things are going GREAT!

Not perfect, but I'm really pleased with my progress. I'll try to recap on Sunday but for now know I'm pleased with the way things have gone.

Had my second RT workout yesterday and again I'm aching from Head to toe. It's kind of nice :)

The biggest news is that I now have ANOTHER bit of motivation.

October 10th we're taking off to spend a few days in cancun mexico! Every day includes swimming and sunning so anything I can do to make wearing a bathing suit a bit less painfull will be top of mind for me. I've downloaded a bunch of pictures of Cancun and I'm going to print them and post them around my house and office. I've also have them popping up on my computer as my screen saver. Maybe I'll even hang my bathing suit on my fridge! lol

I just know I'm really excited about spending a few days in the sun and surf with my hubby and helping him to celebate his 40th birthday.

Alright - I'm outta here - going to enjoy a three day weekend yay!!

Day 3

Hey Shane...

I didn't really mention the program because I'm beyond thinking there's a magic pill. That there's one program that's going to 'make it all happen when everything else has failed'. One program may make getting fit a little 'faster' or one might be less complex then another, but in the end none 0f them do anything if I don't stick to it.

I've also found that the 'shelf-life' for any program (even if it's working) for me is about 18 weeks. So my focus right now is a nutritionally and scientifically sound program and follow it for a set period of time. The program I am using right now is "Afterburn" by Alwyn Casgrove. http://www.afterburntraining.com/

Is it 'magical'? no Does it have some sound principals? yes

After two days though I have figured out that tracking my food so closely (down to the micronutriants) was really stressing me out. Although I have a lot more time on my hands then I used to, I don't have a LOT of time and spending so much time out of my day thinking about food does me no good what so ever. So, I've modified my food plan a bit. Let's see if I can explain my stratagy.

I'm still working toward my 1450 calories a day 5 meals a day
that gives me 290 calories per meal
What I don't want to stress about is the micronutriants, but still want to make sure I'm getting enough protien and I'm keeping my fat intake to a moderate level. So I've taken some of the concepts of BFL and applied them...sorta :)

In my mind I've placed 'most' foods into a catagory: Protien, Carb or Fat

Bread - Carb
Fruit - Carb

Chicken - Protien

etc

Then I made an 'executive' decision that 60% of my calories should come from a 'protien' and 40% from a carb. So - when I plan a meal I pick a protien and eat about 175 calories of it, and pick a carb and eat 115 calories of it. "But what about fats?" you say. Well, as long as between the two of them, they don't have more then 6 grams of fat.. I'm good.

As for the 'types' of foods I eat. I'm not grabbing 115 calories worth of chocolate chip cookies and calling it a 'carb'. I know better then to delude myself that way. I try to keep my selections to whole grains, raw fruits and pleanty of veggies. For this I try to go back to the LL program. Eating 'unprocced' (as in not from a package) foods as much as possable, avoiding 'fast foods', Eating one servinging of fresh fruit a day, eating at least four cups of veggies and at least three different 'kinds' a day.

As long as I continue to lose weight this way, I'll continue to eat this way. I'll let you know when I have to modify it.

As for the mental (and most important) side of things. Honestly, I'm still struggling. By the end of the day I feel exhausted from telling myself "No, you can't have that!". Maybe the first thing I need to do is figure out what I'm going to tell myself "You can't have that" may be half the issue. But still, having to say "No" (what feels like) hundreds of times a day really wears me out. When I think about it, I realize that it's just my 'adictive voice', my 'brat' my 'feast beast' that's talking. I also realize that the more I say 'no' and mean it, the less I'll have to listen to the little winer. I'm not going around hungry. I'm not depriving myself. I'll get through this, I know I will. For me, the first two weeks are usually the hardest - when I get through these, things will settle down, a lot.

As for excercise... I'm not too happy with myself there. When we got home last night it was 91 degrees. So I talked myself out of going for a run. After dinner, then going to the store to pick up lunch stuff, then cleaning the kitchen, making lunch etc. I sat down for a few minutes and before I knew it, it was midnight. *sigh*. So not only did I not run last night, but I missed my 4:00am wake up call and didn't make it to the gym this morning.. bleh. I thought that only having three 'gym' days a week would make things easier - but here I am in the first week, already missing workouts. The positive side is that with only three 'workouts' planned a week I can easily make one up. the only 'rule' is that I don't do RT on consecutive days. So tomorrow I'll do RT and push the last workout to Saturday.

Anyway - I'm hanging in there - still dropping the initial weight which is a nice way to start a program.

Thanks to those of you who are checking up on me!

Day 2

I have to say - I had kind of forgotten what a pain in the butt counting calories is. bleh! Oh well in a few days I'll have my meals all tuned up and then it'll be no worries. I didn't get my meals completely planned for today. I had dance class last night and didn't get home until 10:00PM. I have to say, after the killer morning workout we did - and then 1.5 hours of bumping and grinding (in class) I was completely worn out! I hit the bed the moment I got home. As for the rest of my goals yeseterday:

Food - I was a little short. As I said, I got home really late and completely exhausted. I didn't get a fifth meal in. So I finished the day at 1153 Cals 103C/122P/29F. Yes, that's pretty low, but I wasn't hungry at any point of the day, and I didn't wake up starving this morning either. I think my body is still processing the food from the weekend :)

Excercise - Hit my RT first thing in the morning and had an excellent time at dance class, burning a few extra calories.

Water - 1 gallon + (I have a 1.5 litre water bottle that I filled up and drank 3 times - plus the water I drank during my morning workout. I think I more then nailed that goal)

And the goals for today?

1450 Calories 129gC/161gP/32gF
1 gallon of water
20 min HIIT Cardio (already done)
2 mile Steady State Run (this is my 5k training run planning it for when I get home)
a soak in the hot tub (I honestly ache from head to toe!)

Have tomorrow's meals planned out before the eod today

And that's it - for the numbers

Mentally, I'm doing ok. There's a lot of other things I need to do to sew up my motivation.

Create my 'why'
Create a vision
Set some leverage

I've got some things in place now.

I've got a 5K on 10/7 - the goal, of course, is to finish, and to do it faster then last time, but that'll require some training on my part. I've got to get those evening runs in! Plus I already know how much easier it is to run when I weigh less.

Halloween is always a big deal for my friends and I. My goal is to be back below 180 by then. Although I won't be wearing the 'sexy' costume I had hoped to be wearing this year - I will be a lot happier below 180 then above it!

The next big deal is Thanksgiving. I've set myself a goal of 174 before thanksgiving. If I reach that goal then I'll allow myself to eat whatever I want that day. Total FREE day.

Lastly is the final goal of this 16 weeks - 170 just in time for Christmas.

I've also started a list of 'rewards' for myself. Simple things like a manicure/pedicure. And more elaborite things like a sewing machine - so that I can make myself clothes that fit as I get thinnner.

Weekly I've told myself that if I reach my goal for monday 'early' in the week then That day I'm allowed 1 splurge.

Oh! - and one 'long term' motivation I've created for myself: I've signed up for Jenny Hendershott's Phat Camp in Feb. When I exicute my plan (the way I know I can) I'll be in the low 160's when I go to Camp! That's really exciting to me.

I'll continue to post these kinds of things when I come across them. It helps to make them into a 'real' commiment when I do.

For now, have a great day everyone!

One more goal

For today - that is to be much more orginized tomorrow.

meal planning will be done! :)

Starting a new program today!

That's right - I got my new book in the mail and I'm jumping right in :)

So - I start a 16 week phase today.

The biggest difference here is in the workout. I'm doing super sets for weights, and High Intensity Interval training for cardio. Weight workouts are three days a week and HIIT is three days a week.

This is a BIG difference for me, but it's kind of exciting and I'm looking forward to seeing how it plays out.

I got through day one of my workout today. Though it nearly killed both my husband and I :)

Set 1:

{Squats: 20 x 105 & T-pushups: 8(each side)} x 3

Set 2:

{Step-ups: 20 (each side) & DB Shoulder Press 20 x 20} x 3

Set 3:


{SHELC (supine hip extension with leg curl ) x 20 & Swiss Ball Crunches x 20} x 2

The T-push up is a regular push up, but at the end you end up in a variation of a 'plank' position.









I can't to full pushups right now - so I did them from the knees, but managed the "T" part ok.


SHELC is a swiss ball excercise like this:






My Hamstrings were cramping by the end of the first set - wow!!

The scary thing is that I have dance class tonight and my legs at the moment are so tired that I could hardly walk down the stairs!

This is going to be a fun 16 weeks!

And now onto the most important thing - my goals:

In 16 weeks I will weigh 170 lbs.

I will be able to do at least 10 pushups

I will be able to wear all the clothes in my closet

To achieve this I'm going to set goals for every 4 weeks (of course the program's set up in 4 weeks blocks as well)

Goals for this four weeks are:

about 1450 cals/day: 129g carbs/161g prot/32g fat

five meals per day
1 gallon (or 128 oz) of water/day
three days resistance training
three days HIIT cardio

And - I think that's it for now :)

So the goals for today are:

1450 Cal :129/161/32
1 gallon water
and RT

So far today I'm 1 for 3 :)

three days in a row!

yep - hit the gym three days in a row... And for the past two I've managed to get up and get myself ready even though my husband was being a 'lay-a-bed'. I told him this morning that I've got a new 'attitude'. It used to be (due partially to our driving situation), that if he didn't feel like getting out of bed when the alarm went off, that I would go back to sleep too. But for the past two days when I've heard that little voice say "He's not waking up - he must be too tired - I guess we'll sleep in today" The '0ther' me countered with, "Well YOU'RE awake (not really awake but awake enough to argue with myself I guess :)) so you may as well get up and get yourself dressed - if he's too tired to go to the gym you'll just have to go by yourself. And you know what? Once I'm up he gets up and gets ready too. What would normally happen is that I would use him as an excuse to sleep in, and he would use me. Now I'm eliminating that thinking and it's been great!

Tonight I'm goin out dancing with friends. That's two hours at least of hard (but fun) cardio to look forward too. the only challenge while going out dancing to to make sure I don't drink. I've already decided nothing but water! My stomach's been a little upset the past few days so that should be an easy sell to both my friends and the little moster that tempts me to live in the moment instead of focus on my goals.

I've also set myself a curfew. It's normal for me to stay out MUCH too late when we go out dancing because we're just having so much fun - but tonight I'm going to leave at a reasonable hour so that I can rest up and hit the gym in the morning. Thursdays are my favorite day anyway - Chest! whoop!

Still gathering my focus, choosing a plan etc. I've got some materials coming in the mail that I think are next 'program'. I'm going to do it for 16 weeks. set some goals - put some leverage in place. All the 'good stuff'. I'll probably even take progress pictures *gulp*.

looking forward to it all!

Nother Week!

ahhh, another week! Things are going well - not perfect but well. Still trying to get into a rythum. A few positives since last week. 1) we got our key fob so that we actually have access to the pool and fitness center at our new apartments! That means when we have a day like last Wednesday where we get up - drive to the gym and find out that thier early guy didn't show up and the gym is closed until 6:00AM (gah!) we'll have an alternative. 2) I started dance class!! whoo hoo! My friend and I signed up for Burlesquercise! (don't know what that is? check out the website http://www.bombshellbetty.net/burlesquercise.html) six weeks of dancing our tails off - and skimpy costumes - nothing like the idea of others seeing in your skivies to make it easy to pass up the chocolate bar. :)

Other then that not much to note. Still taking a day at a time. I've slowly been building up momentum and motivation. Although I'm not doing BFL I've been listening to Bill Phillip's BFL audio book and that's starting to get me pumped up. I've really just spent the past few weeks, 'winging it'. hitting my workouts when I could, but not setting goals for # of minutes or anything like that. Eating 'good' (so subjective) but not counting calories or using any other method of diet 'control'. While I know doing this I'm capable of losing fat (and weight) it'll hardly bring me the stunning results that could be called a 'transformation'.

So, I've got a few ideas I'm working on. when I've got my goals etc put together I'll be posting them. Until then - I'm still hitting the gym and eating healthy :) dropping a lb or two along the way.

I'll update soon!

Almost Forgot

193.1 today... finally dropping a little of the 'hormonal' weight that's been visiting.

Still going strong

Had my second boxing class last night. Big plus - I made it through AGAIN and this time didn't feel as if I was going to upchuck at any point! yay!

Food perfect yesterday and has been so far today. Hit the gym for weight lifting again this morning so that's two days in a row for this week. A GREAT start.

Plan is to do a bit of running tonight. I signed myself up for a 5K in about 8 weeks so I'll need to push in order to be in shape by then. the goal is to finish faster then last time... that should be no problem since I took it at pretty much a snail's pace last time.

One thing to note: I finally feel 'caught-up' enough to pay attention to my website again! http://www.boddyfitness.com so those of you who asked for accounts :) you've been approved! Anyone else who wants to join, feel free.

Also - I'm going to revive the 'change your mind' challenge. I actually am really excited about the VAST number of tools I've found recently to help with the mental aspect of the whole food/fitness thing. It would be fun to get to share with anyone!

alright - need to run - so much to do and so little time!

It's Monday Again

and I'm posting :)

The week went pretty well. We're still trying to move into our new house/out of our old house so things are still a bit caotic, but better then before. I made it the the gym 3 days - which was less then my goal, but still better then the 0 days I've been making it for a while.

I made it to boxing on Monday night - I REALLY liked it, even though it kicked my butt - big time. I ached from head to toe for days. In fact my legs hurt as much as any 'heavy' workout I've done. I'm going again tonight.

Food was better then what's been the satus quo, but not as good as I would like. We were still eating out a lot because I didn't have the kitchen/food all settled at the new house yet. But we're set this week. In fact the fridge and freezer are STUFFED full. I've found this wonderful website that email's me weekly dinner suggestions w/a shopping list. I tried it out on Sunday and so far I'm really happy. Take a look if you're interested http://www.savingdinner.com/ I also purchases one of thier '5 for the feezer' sets.- http://www.savingdinner.com/about/dinner_freezer_recipes.html , puchased all the food and chopped, mixed and put five chicken dishes in the freezer last night. It was really satisfying to know I've got food ready to go and even though they are all chicken dishes - they are each differnt enough that it should keep things interestine. After a while my hubby and I get tired of my 'uninspired' dry fried chicken w/a little italian seasoning on it. :)

So - stats today are.. weight 195.9 - better then last week, but I've still got a long way to go to get to my 'fighting' weight. One thing about our new house, it has a LOT of mirrors. So I'm constantly reminded how far I let things slide back and I'm doubly inspired to get what I had BACK!!

I'm going to shoot for at least two posts this week!

So Much has Changed

This time it's for reals!

Oh my what a year! It's been a bumpy ride. But, after this weekend I finally feel like I've made some sense of it all.

So, recently two really big things have happend:

1) My husband got a new job - He was miserable at the old place, and it was really effecting our home life. But, there wasn't much we could do about it at the time. Well, an opportunity came up and he went for it, and my prayers were answered - he got it. The best part about the job is that we now both work in the same city. That means we commute together, or we can stay late together and all kind of 'together' type benefits. PLUS he now makes more money which is always a big help. (Oh and I finally got the raise to go along with my promotion - so a double wammy).

2) We moved!!!! I've been waiting to do this for about 6 years now. Granted, we didn't get to move to exactly where I wanted to, but we did make a HUGE move for us. There's several benefits to this change. 1- I've cut my 4 hour commute to less then 2... yes, I've added two hours to my day! whoop!! 2 - we are now less then a mile from the gym. This means that I can pop over for a workout any ol' time. At our old place it was at least a 30-45 minute drive to get to the gym and that meant any trip there turned into a 3 hour endever. Now we (or even just I) can pop over anytime we like and get a quick workout in. OR if we perfer we can workout at the onsite gym. 3 - we are 1 mile from public transit. What a huge benefit this will turn out to be. This means that my husband and I arn't tied to each other's schedule. If I want to take a class after work (like the boxing class I'm going to tonight) I can. And I'm not rushed thinking he's stuck waiting for me. and Vice Versa. 4 - there's a pool onsite. Heated year round. I'm going to be able to add swimming back into my schedule and again without it being a big pain in our necks.

So as you can see - I'm ready to start on the next big push in my journey. If anyone's still with me out there, I'm back. I've got some lost ground to make up, but, I've got more tools in my toolbox then ever. It's going to be a GREAT year.

Today's weight: 198.5 (I know I know - terrible!)

Today's workout:

Close Grip Cable Pull Down: 20 x 80 lbs x 3
Bent Over Barbell Rows: 20 x 45 lb bar x 2
Hyper-Extensions: 20 x 0lbs x 2
Barbell Wrist Curls: 20 x 35 lb bar x 2
Dumbbell Wrist Curls: 20 x 25 x 1

1 Hour Cardio Boxing

Food:

Breakfast: English Muffin, Egg and Banana
Lunch: Spinich Salad w/Turkey (No dressing) and garbanzo beans, Pineapple
Snack: Greek Yogurt w/Strawberries and grapenuts
Dinner: Spinich Salad w/'taco' turkey meat and 're-fried' black beans

Water:

3 Quarts (sounds like I'm a car!)
(I've had my one soda for a day - cut back my diet pepsi starting last week)

see you all tomorrow morning!

Slightly Larger Update

Ok – here we go!

Honestly, I’m not really sure where to start. I guess you don’t need to know every up and down over the past few months but let me just summarize by saying.. it’s been busy ;) Clean up after my father-in-law passed away was a little messier then we expected. Work has been busy busy busy busy, and life in general a little overwhelming at times.

But – this is a blog about my weightloss journey so I’ll focus on that because honestly – life happens. It always does and it’s how I handle the ups as well as the downs that’s going to make a difference in my lifelong goals – not WHAT those ups and downs actually are.

So, as many of you know, I’ve struggled with food for a long time now. I have been overweight my entire adult life and then some. Not long ago it became apparent to me that what ‘diet’ I was on wasn’t going to make much of a difference for me. I had to change my mind to change my body. I did a great deal of that last year. Dave and the Leanness Lifestyle taught me so much! But – I started listening to my ‘feast beast’ let him talk me into the ‘just one won’t hurt’ mentality. Of course I quickly fell into old habits. I felt so helpless, hopeless and out of control. I would pull myself together for a day or two and then slide right back again. While eating too much food doesn’t have the same effect on your body as drinking too much alcohol I’m guessing that the bad feeling of not being the boss of your own actions is very similar. In the end I gained back 15 lbs.

Step by step though, I drug myself back to the right frame of mind. Rather then give up I searched for even more tools to add to my arsenal. Adding to everything Leanness lifestyle taught me as well as other plans/diets I have been on I’ve dropped 10 of the 15 lbs I gained. And it feels GOOD. And mentally - I'm on fire!

So – I’m back and frankly really excited to share some new ‘stuff’ I’ve learned and have been doing. Learning to change my mindset about food… I haven’t ‘made it’ but I would still like to pass some of this on to other people. I’ve been working with one of the people I work with and he’s lost 15 lbs! So I know these tools can help more then just me

So I have a proposal. I would like some of you (and heck invite some friends) to take a little journey with me. I know, I know the last thing you probably need is yet another challenge and another web site to log into, but 1-you would be doing me a HUGE favor and 2-You might gain some new skills/tools to use in your transformation journey as well! The website is www.boddyfitness.com

If you want to join please sign up – I want to ‘start’ June 8th (Start on a Friday!? – yep)

I’m not going to write diet plans, or workouts. What I will be doing is posting challenges, lessons and tips and asking you to follow along and give feedback. The website will give you a place to write a diet journal, post in a forum and even set up a gallery if you like. As part of the challenge I’m asking that you participate by answering the challenges and lessons in the provided Blog – otherwise, no other site participation is required.

Think about it – ask me questions if you like – log in and just follow along if you dare ;)

I'm here

Life for the past few months has been totally overwhelming! But I think we're through the worse of it. I've a lot to catch you up on if you care at all :) (I'm not sure that even I do.. lol.. and I lived it!) Some personal let downs and some really exciting stuff to look forward to.

I'll post a BIG update tomorrow but I want to tease you with this. I'm thinking of 'sponsoring' a little challenge at my new website. I'm so excited about the ideas I have! Please let me know if you would be interested in joining.

Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who's checked in on me! as I said - I'll fill in the blanks tomorrow but I'll have you know I appreciate each and every comment. Just know that I'm back - and not just STARTING to take action but already IN action.

got to go to bed...